My best friend (37 M) of 24 years and I hooked up, now I don’t know what to think. Anyone have insight help please?

[KlaceeRedneck]

Ok so long story short we have been best friends for 24 years. I used to have crush on him and we talked about it then. He said he didn’t want to lose me as a friend so we just kept it kosher. We both married other people kept in contact on and off. He got divorced and I’m still married. Now in the last 2or 3 years we have hooked up occasionally but with the same expectations of no strings attached just to scratch an itch type of thing as I’m still married but separated. All has been good until this past weekend. One thing that we never have done is kiss in any way shape or form. I think it has been our way of keeping it light and fun. This weekend things were getting along and then he tried to kiss me while dtd and totally caught me off guard and I dodged his efforts. Then realized that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. So I went in for the kiss. A couple closed mouth kisses that progressed to full out passionate kissing session. I paused in the middle and looked at him he had this stupid ass grin on his face and giggled lol. Move on to afterwards and I got in my feels about my home situation and said I don’t know what to do and that maybe it’s better for my kids if I give my husband a chance. He strongly said if that’s how you’re feeling then why did you just do what we did? He acted different the rest of the weekend. Very distant not getting close at all. When I normally leave or say good bye he always walks me to my car and gives me a hug. This time he didn’t. I’m so confused as to what he is thinking. We have talked since and I did tell him that I felt he was acting different and explained the whole goodbye scenario and he apologized and acknowledged that he did do that but said he just wasn’t thinking about it at the time. Is he not interested in more, scared of what had happened, or does he have stronger feelings for me? I do Love him but I try very hard to keep it at friends with benefits level per our agreement. Does he feel different now?

Updates

+1 y

Also we talk on the phone everyday and text multiple times a day. He works out of town and does 4 or 5 16 hour shifts and still messages and calls me. This is how we have always been. Now I’m wondering if this is because he has always felt different but never had the balls to say it..

[maximumpower]

Well... your relationship will never be the same.
If you haven't already - don't do what you're not supposed to.
If your marriage is "done," then get out of it, but do NOT bounce straight into another relationship.
Make sure it's mutual and worth it.
Yes - I've been there.
There are no good alternatives here.

[Guy13]

Wow that’s pretty hot.. romantic, and I assume emotional. It would be difficult to let that go. for me but I may be a little atypical. Don’t think he can be pressed… I’m “jealous but not”. Wtf is next…I mean like the Plan 🤷🏻‍♂️ Any ideas ⁉️

[KlaceeRedneck]

So Im not imagining that he seems jealous? I would run away with him in a heart beat if he asked but I have tried to push my feelings deep down so I won’t get hurt. But now I’m like wtf is going on?

[Guy13]

I have no clue but i do know that he can't be pressed... it is a total life change on both parts so that has to be addressed and negotiated through... Even with a vision, plan, and active leadership it could be as much as two years before it has gelled... I am going to do and Done are quite different. I've done this ONCE and about 6 months after all in place, she left. Going to get married after graduate school... she was medical so moving was easy for her. The bottom line is one never knows until it is Done... Damn, I hoe this works out as you wish it too. "Fun Times"

[JPresidente]

He's got major feelings for you and has been hiding it. You ripped his heart out with what you said.

[Anonymous]

Well, if the sex was great, then why not go back for more, lol.

[KlaceeRedneck]

It was but now I’m wondering if he was feeling more than I thought

[Opinion Owner]

That would be a good question to ask him.

[KlaceeRedneck]

Well duh I’m trying to work up the courage because I don’t want it to ruin things.

[spartan55]

@KlaceeRedneck
Don't ya think it's a little late for that?

[AviatorTom]

You're cheating on your husband and kids and you're then asking random strangers what's going on? Grow up and take responsibility for your life... and your fsmily.

[Avicenna]

Once you've been intimate like that, it's hard to go back to just platonic friends

[KlaceeRedneck]

Yes I agree but I was with the impression it was no strings attached and was ok with that. Now I’m wondering if he was thinking it is more and I squashed his feelings

[Avicenna]

That's quite possible since guys do have feelings for female friends (albeit different ones than for a girlfriend)

[BigManSAB]

Men n women aren’t meant to be “just friends” this always happens. If you get back with your husband it’s not gonna work unless remove this guy from your life.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your husband can give you some advice on what to do.

[spartan55]

Ask your husband what you should do. Remember him?

[KlaceeRedneck]

Yes I do actually but let me be clear I’m not in love with him anymore. I have 2 children which makes things more difficult and I am very confused. No need for the negativity I have enough of that in my own head and heart for everyone.

[spartan55]

Negativity? Really? How typical, trying to escape any accountability. You are doing wrong, you know you are doing wrong. Get divorced then go chase that dude around.

[Iron_Man]

You shouldn’t do that