Why is my friend's boyfriend so openly rude to me?

[Anonymous]

He always makes these snarky little remarks about me when we are all together. He says them in front of my friend and she doesn't say anything. He makes comments about "[my name] is always confused and dumb" in a really patronising way. He also accuses me of lying all the time, when I'm telling the truth about a situation. Someone called me pretty the other day and he said (while I was in the room listening) "[my name] is really not all that, me and my girlfriend are better looking."

He also makes fun of the way I dress. He's like "why are you always wearing white?" in a really judgmental way.

Literally what is his problem? It's like he goes out of his way to say snarky remarks about me. Why does he dislike me so much when I'm always polite and nice to him because it's my friend's boyfriend?"

Me and him had a BIT of history, we did used to talk and kissed a couple times and nearly went out on a date but that was 2 years ago, so it can't be that. And there's no residual attraction or feelings there at all. So what is it? Also, how do I handle it?

[RavVid]

On my side of the fence, I have had a girlfriend's girlfriend being sabotaging because she resented my girlfriend prioritizing me rather than her.

It could being something like that in your case. He is wanting to distance you from your friend. If he said "me and my girlfriend are better looking" than I think that is indicating an attitude as he listed himself first I notice. Most guys would not compete on whether they were prettier than a girl! WTF. As much as he might have said was "my girlfriend is pretty too" if he felt he needed too at all.

He is an a*hole and your friend should watch out. Puts you in a difficult position because you don't want to get between them. I imagine he will be a lot better at snarky remarks than you will ever be because he has probably put in a lot of practice at it.

Maybe you can develop counters such as asking your friend if you wear white too often. I don't know as I don't do snarky. A good friend met a guy who quickly started to belittle her humorously with apparent affection and she didn't notice it till 4 children later. I can see the same happening to your friend.

If he does it to you he will do it to her.

[NitroExpress]

You've got a few options here, pick the one you like best:

1. Snark back, go for the nasty stuff and make a fool out of him.

2. Confront him, ask what his problem is, do it publicly, that way he won't be able to manipulate the facts to his advantage. Also shows people they shouldn't mess with you.

3. Slap him. I'm not kidding, slap him and tell him to watch his mouth from then on. That'll wake him up. Still public. I invite you to weigh the pros and cons of this one yourself.

I'd also have a word with your friend.

As for the why, I don't know, maybe he thinks it's funny to make jokes at peoples' expense, especially if they won't talk back, or maybe he's not totally over you and that's his emotionally retarded way of getting your attention. Those are my theories.

[NitroExpress]

Never forget, people are animals and animals pick on those they think are weak, so better prove them wrong.

[Kitty1995]

Well, obviously it’s because you guys have history. Your friend (his girlfriend) is clearly jealous or doesn’t like you guys having history, rightfully so. But, if she if a good friend she wouldn’t be rude or let him be rude to you. If she has that big of a problem with it then she should stop hanging out with you at all. She more then likely, gets upset or worked up about it , talking about it with him when you aren’t around. Probably arguing. And so he feels like he needs to be rude to you in order to demonstrate to her that he’s no longer interested in you to make sure she always remembers that and doesn’t mistake him being nice or even just not rude to you as him liking you or flirting. Also, she could tell him to do it. But either way, your “friend” is more then likely talking hella shit about you or saying rude shit about you to him because you make her feel insecure and talking down on you or making fun of you, etc. makes her feel better about herself and better about her relationship. Find a better friend girl ❤️ I’ll be your friend

[Asker]

Thank you lovely, xxx yeah I've also noticed her telling him I talk bad about him when I don't. So I think you're right honestly