My boyfriend of almost 2 years told me that he only cares about meeting my parents and doesn’t care about meeting the rest of my family, why?

[discobutterfly]

He says he will meet the rest of my family if it happens cool, if not oh well. We are just taking things day by day and my family lives in another state so it makes things difficult. He has previously been divorced and has a child so he just wants things to happen naturally. I’ve never been married so just wondering if anyone else understands this male mentality

[mom2boys95]

It sounds like to me since he does have a child. Depending on the child's age it really is a important factor who comes and goes in this child's life. If something was to happen and y'all was to break up, the child also has to break up with the family 9 times out of 10 which can cause emotional damage because a lot of the times the child often gets attached to family members of the significant other. I'm a single mom of two boys and I am very picky on who I bring around my kids who I allow them to meet and have any kind of relationship with. There's been too many people who said they would stay, my kids got attached, and then they left anyway leaving my kids sad and they don't understand why they can't be in their life anymore.. A lot of people don't understand or care about that at all. When in a relationship with a single parent it should be what's best for the child , then the adults. It does sound like he loves you and is a very respectable man for wanting to meet your parents. That says a lot about him in itself. Be understanding, look at the scenario as if you was in his shoes. If you had a child how would you go about bringing new people into their life with the possibility of them walking out one day. Not saying that that will happen , but it's always a possibility. You just got to look at all the scenarios that could happen and reasons why he does certain things and don't do certain things.
Hope y'all have a amazing happy life ♥️

[Kori1236]

It might mean he’s okay with just meeting your parents. Meeting extended family may not be a huge deal. He may not be close to his, or maybe he thinks you’re not close to yours. Or maybe his family isn’t very big so extended family doesn’t factor in. Or in a worst case scenario he doesn’t see a future with you and doesn’t feel the need to meet more people.


In my life I’m not super close with extended family. I chat with my grandmother occasionally but nothing from my cousins, aunts and uncles. Hell even my older brothers aren’t factored into close family. So if my partner eventually met them cool, if not it’s not a big deal. Those important people in my life, those that I value the input and opinions of will always be the people I want my SO to meet.

[RavVid]

Are we talking just brothers and sisters or first second and third cousins on top of it? I don't think I would want to be paraded in front of every relative and family friend you can possy up in a family reunion. Intimidating at the least.

Doubtless I am exaggerating but I think it would be best to introduce the family members you are closest to in smaller doses.

[FilmGuy93]

The parents are who he wants to get the blessing on the relationship from. If he decides to take you for his wife, he wants your father's blessing.

[Finchie40]

Like I said in your other post, cuz you re dating the wrong guy , his relationship with you is his relationship not yours , He only thinks of himself , hate to break it to you beautiful but you are in for a rude awakening wasting your time with this guy , He clearly shows he only cares about himself , when someone loves you and values you they don’t hesitate to appease you whether they agree or disagree with you they will meet you in the middle and compromise out of respect , this fool is only caring about himself , probably why his wife left him in the first place , When someone doesn’t make you a priority , like you do them , that’s your answer to kick them to the curb , They don’t value you , they only value themselves , and string you along for their convenience, the fact that this freak made you have sex with other guys for his fucked up fetish just shows his true colors that he doesn’t value you , I guarantee this fucker is a narcissist and the second you don’t give into him he will play a victim and gas light you blaming you for screwing these other guys in front of him , He will turn it around that you are the bad guy because if you truly loved me , you would of said no to screwing these other guys , My ex wife pulled this shit with me and I tolerated the abuse for years thinking she truly loved me to find out she only loved herself , she could t remove selfishness for me , she always played a victim that I was this bad guy when really she was the piece of shit , I can spot a narcissist a mile away and hate to break it to you , you are dating one , Get out while you can trust me on this ,

[sage2021]

Sometimes extended families tend to ask a lot of questions when they meet someone new coming into the family. Sometimes it can feel like an interrogation. Maybe that is what he's avoiding and I really can't blame him. Some people are way too nosey and he knows it would meje him feel uncomfortable.

[BlueScorpio]

Well your parent are your immediate family, so he's more concerned about knowing them since the rest of your family lives in a different state.

[Straight2thepoint]

Ill tell you like i tell my 15 year old. " Don't force things to happen. Don't worry about it. The transition is smoother this way. If it doesn't happen, then neither of u had drama. If it's ment to be, I will happen. Like us, u ain't my blood. But life gave me the love to give you, without any restrictions."

[wander-lust]

Maybe he's an introvert. When I was married I felt why go out of my way to spend time my ex's relatives, when I'm barely going to have any relationship with them. Also maybe he had a bad experience in the past relationship with her realtivrs, and has social anxiety about it.

[jennifer_bloom]

It might mean he wants the gravitational pull to be his family and not have the dominance be your family.

[Jdjfjcjj]

I think they way he said it wasn't the best way but I suspect the hidden meaning is that he sees you as long term material (like marriage). So building a relationship with your parents is the people he should meet for that purpose.

[Raiden93]

Your parents are the ones who are responsible for your existence. They are held at a higher power than everybody else.. Family is complicated. We know who's important and who's a distraction. The love is unconditional. He loves you.

[NerdInDenial]

Your parents are your immediate family and you three will seem them more often than the rest of the family.

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree with him. He isn't saying he doesn't WANT to meet the rest of your family; he's just saying that it's okay to go with the flow on that aspect. It's a lesser priority.

[matchrestore]

To me it sounds like he just doesn't want you to worry to much about arranging getting together with the entire family, not that he doesn't want to meet them.

[spartan55]

He probably figures if he hasn't even met your parents after two years that's about the best he could expect.

[spartan55]

I think it's pretty odd that he hasn't met your parents at least once in two years. Is this considered a serious relationship?

[discobutterfly]

He’s met my parents already so he says he’s just fine with that. I guess I just really wanted him to meet the rest of my family and he said that he could go either way on it and I’m just like ok..

[spartan55]

Okay, it wasn't made clear that he met your parents. I don't think you need to read into what he said about the rest of your family. Let's be real, unless you move close to all of them you won't see them as much as your parents.

[discobutterfly]

Valid point

[ZenJen444]

Right, this is extremely odd.

[skilled_jellyfish]

How desperately do you want to meet his whole family?

Most of us guys hate the idea that when you marry a girl you marry the whole family.

[melanieeeB]

He probably sees your parents as more important or like closer family, I don't see it as something too bad tho

[Sevenpointfive]

that's entirely normal. get the parents blessing and then once you're married you can introduce him

[aaron210419]

He probably is not very close with his extended family

[ZenJen444]

Wait , you've been with this guy for two years yet he's never met your parents? Have you even met his or his friends? Omg

[discobutterfly]

Yes he’s met my parents sorry I did not clarify. I know all his friends and coworkers pretty much, and his family

[Charlesbrandonf]

Have you given him an impression of the rest of the relatives?

[Danger345]

DM me if you can I can answer a lot of your questions you have and give you valid reasons

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe he doesn't want it to all happen at once.