Sounds like he has trust issues and that's not a good sign. If he doesn't trust you then why is he with you?
Also if he wants this thing then he'll want another thing it'll snowball into outrageous requests and expectations where you'll wonder if you're dating someone sane.
Someone who isn't in a good place/didn't heal at all from past relationships should never get into another relationship until they figure their stuff out.
He'll be insecure and making your life harder than it needs to be because of his insecurities. You need to set boundaries if you still want to be with him. What kind of relationship is that if he has to check up on you? That's so unhealthy and not normal.
I hope you are ok and happy in this relationship. Good luck and be strong!
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It could just be that he’s been hurt before and it’s left a nasty scar. It may have nothing to do with you directly, unless you’re not always honest with him.
That could be nothing more than his insecurities at play. The problem is, even if you do everything as honestly and transparent as possible, he still may never trust you. I’d tell him you’ll help him work on his insecurities but if he doesn’t get them under control then let him go.
Trust always needs to be earned, but in a healthy relationship it doesn’t need constant reminding.
You have to ask yourself this question. What is more important? Your relationship or holding onto a principle about privacy? No sense in calling him names etc. If he wants to see the phone you have a choice to make. I might also mention if he is red pill'ed there is a great chance of two things going on you should be aware of. First, he is testing you, and last he also knows full dang well you could use a burner phone. At the end of the cold hard day, it comes down to, what do you want to do. Think long and hard because your relationship might hang in the balance! Understand I am not taking sides. That is not my job. I'm just attempting to put a light in your path so you can see whats ahead.
It's become normalized to distrust your partner because it's become normalized to seek other people. Every man is competing with every other man, and is likely to proposition you. Hell there's even an incentive for you to take them up on their offers. It's fruitless investing in someone who isn't a sure thing, and gating/monitoring conversations is one way of verifying his time isn't being wasted.
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He's insecure and it worried about other men trying to make moves on you.
He doesn’t trust you. Perhaps he was cheated on previously. Or if you have history of cheating that he’s aware of he wouldn’t trust you to remain faithful. There’s all sorts of reasons he may want to check your phone you just need to have boundaries and if all is well there’s no cheating you need to help him feel secure in the relationship.
Could be a few things.
Do you have a history of cheating? If so, he doesn’t trust you. If this is the case I can see his point.
Has he been cheated on in the past?
If so he probably doesn’t trust anyone. If this is the case you need to set boundaries with him. Just because someone else hurt him doesn’t mean you will.
Has he cheated on the past?
Cheaters often project their behavior onto others. If this is the case I’d tell him to go fuck himself.
this relationship should be put to an end. he won't change and this is not how happy healthy relationships thrive. i've ever had to have my partner check my phone nor do i care to check his. in the 6 years we've been together. that's just so odd to me why he would insist on it... so yeah it's a big red flag.
Honestly, in my experience, when someone insists on checking your phone, it's because THEY are the ones doing something shady, and they are projecting.
I do not believe at all in checking someone's phone unless they have already done something in the past to make them untrustworthy, and even then it's best to just break up.
It might be do to something you've done, it might be related to his past, it might be part of his personality. Whatever the cause, he's insecure and he doesn't trust you AT ALL. Not good, need to address that asap!
Do you also check his phone too? Some people are no way not allowed, when I get serious I hand him my phone to go through and expect him to do the same.
This way it shows I have nothing to hide.
Not an option. Trust is gained by giving it. That ends relationships. I wouldn’t put up with it.
Did you give him a reason to check your phone?
doesn't trust you. either because of your behavior or his past traumatic experiences related to trust.
Dump that piece of trash. You will be carrying his insecurities for the rest of your relationship.
things like this doesn't happen out of nowhere. maybe he suspects there's something untrustworthy about you?
Mine too but I have my way around it. Just make sure he trusts you. these guys are always like that. don't run away because of one flaw. no one is perfect as long as he is not abusive let him know ur not doing anything bad.
He seems to think that cause exist for him to need to. Whether justify it or not, some thing has tripped an alarm.
He's insecure and he thinks you're messaging other people.
Either he's extremely insecure or he's hiding something himself. Neither is a good sign, he should respect your privacy and trust that you're not talking to people you shouldn't be.
He got deep feelings for you and really loves you deeply, but he needs to give you space.
Because he is doing shit he isn't supposed to be and is projecting it onto you.
He probably thinks you're doing something on it that he wouldn't approve of, obviously.
Like talking to other guys in a intimate way or whatever.Most likely it’s because he’s insecure and you shouldn’t tolerate that invasion of privacy. Or you have done things to make him suspicious in which case he’s still insecure for staying
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