Married coworker (really close friend) won't introduce me to his wife when she's around but he introduced me to his kids?

[Anonymous]

We're really really close friends, and he's the one who actually put in the effort for our friendship in the beginning. We have a very good and solid relationship, but I found it very strange that he wouldn't introduce me to his wife when she dropped him off at the office a few days in a row? Is she suspecting something off? Why won't he introduce me to her? And why would she be so insistent on dropping him off at the office? Nothing is going on between us, although people have often felt as though we were strongly "vibing".

[quaranta]

I just read in comments that he is going through a divorce and that she accused him of cheating with a coworker.
So yeah, maybe he actually cheated on her with someone there, or maybe she has just strong problems with jealousy and anxiety and becomes suffocating, or even, he cheated on her in the past and so the (of course) can't trust any of his moves anymore and suspects of everything. The fact she wants to monitor him means she doesn't trust him the least, at all, anyway. Not sure it's because she has some condition or she has a legit reason to not trust him, but still, it's clear it's not working at the moment.
It's obvious why he doesn't want to introduce you to her, then. If she is already suspecting and accusing him, she would think he is cheating on her with you, and she would be surely not happy to meet female friends of his at the moment I guess. As well as he wouldn't want to show his coworker their wife in that emotional status, or maybe he doesn't want her to start stalk any of you on social media.
Perhaps they argue in the car even and he is really not in the mood to introduce her anyone, as well.

By the way, are you sure you are "really really close friends", though? You talk like if you have the distance colleagues have normally actually, I mean, if a "really really" close friend of mine was going through a divorce or had problems with their wife in general, they would talk very often about that to me, I wouldn't need to wonder anything like you do, because I would just know already from a lot of time.
I ask this because I don't know if he is maybe not entirely meaning you like a "really really close" friend or as a potential partner, and if you have feelings for him but mask it as this friendship thing. Which is not a fault but I would just say, if that's the case something can start between you two, monitor closely this man: if he cheated on his wife, or shows an intention to cheat on her with you, he will cheat on his next partners too at some point, when the conditions will be similar. So if you consider dating him at some point, beware you'd date a cheater if you find out he is.

[Asker]

It’s normal for a wife to monitor her husband like this and come to his work premises?

[quaranta]

I said already possible reasons why she is doing it... I don't know what else I could say, I think I covered most scenarios

[hahahmm]

Um, he is acting shady. It doesn't even matter why. You shouldn't be close friends with any married dude. Nothing good comes from that. And if he really respected his wife he wouldn't be trying to be your friend either.

[Asker]

i found out they're going through a divorce. So it's kind of weird that she's insisting on dropping him off at work.

[hahahmm]

Because he's lying. From my POV, either you want to find a good relationship OR you just want to waste many years of your life screwing around with dudes who have zero intention of being serious. Make up your mind. If you want a good relationship, being friends with this guy will only harm your chances because a quality dude who comes along will see this & bail quick. Choices have consequences. Yeah, a lot of people don't want to believe it.

[Sparkie460]

Maybe he is afraid that she will think that he's been cheating on her with you. She might be a bitch and harrass you

[Asker]

oh my god thank you for having the most mature/realistic answer here. Nothing is going on between us. They have a rocky relationship, and i've heard rumors that he's dying to get a divorce but can't cause they have kids. They were on the verge of a separation, and i've heard that she accused him of cheating with a coworker and hence why she's been showing up at the office premises. Is this normal?

[Sparkie460]

So since she accused him of cheating that is why he didn't introduce you to her. She shows up to see who he's hanging out with in the office.

[In_Trance]

Huge Red Flag. Keep your distance

[Asker]

why's it a red flag?

[In_Trance]

For the reason that you asked this question to begin with

[Anonymous]

That sounds fishy