Is it normal for men to criticize the body of a woman that they also desire and want to sleep with?

[Anonymous]

My fiancé keeps criticizing my body. He says I need to lose more weight and get laser and do something different with my hairstyle, etc. But then he also desires and wants me physically. We both don’t believe in pre-marital but he has stared and touched and expressed what he wants when he is in the mood. Not sure what to make of this. When he criticizes basically everything, it seems like he isn’t attracted to me and doesn’t want me but then he also acts very different when he is in the mood and he still wants to marry me so it is very confusing. I am working on myself as much as I can — I work out every other day at 5am, I follow the calorie deficits, I am working on laser — but he feels like I’m not doing it fast enough. And I don’t think I’m hideous or he wouldn’t want to marry me and I wouldn’t have multiple people interested but he still berates perpetually and at this point, I am starting to hate myself so just trying to get some clarity on his behavior to try and rationalize. Is this a normal behavior?

Yes, this is a normal behavior for men

No, this isn’t a normal behavior for men

Other

[SteveSmith1985]

No. This is not normal behavior for men. It's the behavior of a guy whose being a complete asshole.

Nobody should feel like their partner is constantly criticizing them. That is litereally "one of the classic" red-flags. That's not ok.

Do you know how sad it is to hear you "working on yourself" to such an extent... in hopes of pleasing him?

Your fiancée shouldn't have a whole lot of criticisms for you. He's... supposed to love you for who you are--the way you are. Including how you look.

This is some bullshit right here. You shouldn't have to put up with being made to feel like you're not good enough. That's messed-up.

[mark000h]

I'm sorry to say it will only get worse. Time to at least call off the engagement and maybe even break up. He sounds uncaring and abusive.

[Anonymous]

You obviously look damn well for him to STILL be with you.
You look so good he tries to make you feel insecure so you won't leave him for someone who looks better and has more money... believe it or not he's keeping you under his thumb.
Like it's cool to do some things to your hair your girlfriend might like. But he got with you cause you're a hottie. And now you're letting him control you. Dont get lost in the sauce

[Flower7]

This behavior is common, but not acceptable. He shouldn’t criticize you so much. I mean, I’m sure he’s not perfect either.

[spartan55]

You are marrying an abuser, you understand that, right?

[Anonymous]

It’s not normal, and I wouldn’t be signing up to deal with such harmful emotional abuse for the rest of my life if I were you.

[Asker]

You might be right. I’ve been with him 7 years so it’s a bit hard to just leave.

[Opinion Owner]

I get it, I was with a guy from 19-29. Letting go and moving on after being with someone for so long and all the history you create together is freaking tragic, I was completely broken. Don’t let the history keep you in a bad situation though, same goes for current circumstances and having kids — don’t let any of that keep you where you aren’t meant to be. This guy is breaking you down to nothing, so what do you have left to give when you’re depleted? I say leave that toxic man, then work on healing yourself and all that trauma he’s caused. Rebuilding a life as a single person is hard at first but the journey is so rewarding. You can do it!