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This guy friend and I always find ourselves staring deeply into each other eyes. Half the time we don't even speak, just eye contact and silent, just smiling. It's pretty intense when we have one on one conversation, even with him being sarcastic and teasing. I always brush it off as we never spend time alone and he doesn't initiate either (no, he doesn't have a girlfriend.)
Lately, I feel like it's way different. Now, if in a group he always faces me and does it. If we are all eating lunch, he always sits across from me and we find eachother doing it. Now all of a sudden, if he's telling a joke, he looks to me and we do it. If anyone is speaking to him, asking him a question, anything, he looks to me and we do it. Always the eye contact, always holding it. Like the person speaking doesn't exist! I don't see him doing that to anyone at all!
Would there be any circumstance where a guy friend would do it to a girl friend with no interest at all? We tend to playfully bicker a lot. He teases me or we tease eachother. He's gotten to the point where if others are around, it's almost borderline mean as a few people think he doesn't like me (as a person). Like suddenly his femeanor changes, almost like a cover? Because when we are alone, total opposite. When I ask him if he is mad or if im annoying, doesn't like me around, etc to be honest. I can take it. He then says I'm being stupid and absolutely not the case.
Not sure what to do as he is always aloof. Cryptic. Anyone else it's no problem to hang out with but with me, he ghosts, gets shy, panics, fidgety. Should I try and avoid him for a while then?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
I can’t imagine a situation where I’d do that without having feelings for her. That much eye contact seems romantic. It sounds like potentially he is trying to use the teasing in front of others as cover.
The other big thing tho, is if he treats other women this way. That might be able to tell you a lot. Might just be his personality.
In terms of if you should avoid him, I think that depends on how you feel about it. Is it awkward? Do you have feelings for him? Is the teasing going too far?
He doesn't do this at all, whatsoever, with other women. Believe me, I check. Lol
The frustration and wanting to avoid is that it gets so intense that I think it would be great to spend time with one another. I ask and he either says nothing or says no. He only really spends one on one time with me maybe 1-2 times a year but I see him in groups all the time. It's always on his terms. To be clear, he's a quiey guy. Not remotely a womanizer or player. No girlfriend. Nothing.
When we aren't together, it's silence or perhaps it's easier to tell himself he doesn't have feelings and keep at bay? Then, when we are together, it's magnetic and like this, all day long.
Well if it’s unique with you, then it does sound like he has feelings for you. In terms of how you should approach it, I’d say that depends on your feelings.
I have feelings for him. Perhaps it's overwhelming to him?
It could be. Or he just doesn’t know what to do and feels uncomfortable. How much have you tried to flirt with him?
We flirt all the time! I wonder what others think because we banter and playfully argue ALL THE TIME. LITERALLY. Either he can't stand still, is blushing and smiling ear to ear, moving around in nervous circles... or... criticizing me, teasing me or worse, acting very cold in front of a large group of people and then flirty when alone. One friend notices that he always tries to be around me but will talk to everyone else and just be always looking at me or tuned into me when I'm not paying attention. Almost zone out. Then he blushes and gets nervous when he's called back to earth. It drives me crazy though. The hot cold. I asked him if he wanted to hang out this weekend and he didn't even bother to reply. Not even with a no. But I guarantee when I see him in a few days, right back to this.
Truly sounds like he is just nervous to make the next move. I can’t relate too much to his behavior. But if you have a friend who you trust, you could try talking to him/her and try to get them to talk to him, or even make a comment like “you two would be perfect for each other”, to try to get him to make a move.
The only thing that's come close is that when we "argue" or make fun of eachother, one friend said get a room!
Oh and here's something interesting. He'll go to lunch with anyone, girl or guy, no problem. Me? Has to think about it. That or always has someone come with us. So that in itself makes me think that he doesn't like me. Maybe nervous to be alone with me? Afraid what people would think? But... a few months ago, he took me on a picnic. Just the two of us. Absolutely positively confusing!
Yeah that’s strange. I’m not sure what other guys would think. But if I unknowingly put a girl in that position, I’d want her to communicate and just be direct and honest. I’m really not sure that is the best approach. And I’d tell her what I think if she did that. But it doesn’t really sound like he’d do that either.
What did he say when your friend said “get a room”? And what did you say?
Oh... silence. pretended like she didn't say anything.
Others say "now now children!"
Or... like I said, especially if he's being serious, that he doesn't like me as a person. That I'm annoying. He does call me once in a while in the chance we don't see eachother but he's one of those guys... the man of few words kind. Should I say anything as far as why he didn't even bother to reply to my invitation? Or just act like nothing happened?
I think because you brought it up a few times here, yeah next time you talk to him, I’d bring it up. It’s obviously annoying to you at the very least. If he is a good guy and worth your time seems like he should have the curiosity to reply or explain why he didn’t.
I saw him today. Never mentioned not answering the text. As usual, nothing said. Flirted and teased eachother. Found reasons to be near me or stop by. Sigh.
And did you ask him why he didn’t answer? Or did you not bring it up?
Didn't get the chance. He just acted like nothing happened. I've only text him once since then. I genuinely just don't get it.