Please I need advice?

[Anonymous]

So I started hanging out with a guy with the intentions of having a consistent friends with benefits / cuddle buddy situationship. He is always the one to initiate the conversation and he is the one that is usually asking to see me. The past few weeks he’s been messaging me more and asking to hang out more. I like spending time with him and I thought he did too since he keeps asking to see me. On Sunday he messaged me to ask when he could see me and we agreed that we would hang out on Wednesday. On Tuesday (a day before we are to hang out) he messages me to ask if he can see me today instead so I said ok sure today is fine. but then he stopped replying back. I sent him one message asking him what time he would be on his way. No reply. 1 hour later I called him and no reply. This is the second time he asks to see me, then goes MIA. I’m just confused on why he is doing this? He is the one that keeps texting me asking to hang out, I am not the one chasing him. The first time he did this, I sent him a message telling him that this type of behavior is a turn off to me and I blocked his number. He messaged me of a different number asking me to unblock him and saying I overreacted. This time I definitely do not believe I am in the wrong because the least he could of done is let me know he wasn’t coming. And also why chase me just to keep me stranded? Advice please.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

On Tuesday (a day before we are to hang out) he messages me to ask if he can see me today instead so I said ok sure today is fine.

You did not state the timeframe between the request and your responce.

If he didn't get a responce quickly then perhaps he asked another who accepted before you did or perhaps he asked more than one anyway and another responded before you did.

Clearly this guy is of high enough value to be able to treat women like most women treat men, like shit and so he does.

That's what you wanted, why are you complaining about it?

[Asker]

I replied back right away with a time and he agreed then went MIA. then the next morning he messages me “good morning” like he didn’t just bail on me lol. He isn’t high value , I mentioned above that I have blocked him several times and he messages me off other numbers

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm.

Well, he 'went' somewhere with his time.

Drugs?

Games?

I still think it could be another woman though you seem to think otherwise.

What does he say when you ask him where he disappeared to?

[Asker]

Another women is my guess.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, maybe you should focus more on the friends part in future instead of getting used at your own request by someone you don't even value.

[Guy13]

He’s messing with your mind. He likes control gsmes.

[BearDed08]

It’s his behavior and insecurities that have made him come to a full stop. With this in mind just focus on yourself, no one needs to behave like this, but yet we do make human errors. He was obviously trying to get his ego stroked and you put up with that, no offense.

[misogynistic_pig]

Of course! I am here to help you.

Tell me how I can help you and I will try to give you the best possible advice.

[Asker]

Did you read my post?

[Pegases]

It sounds like you're investing too much into a friends with benefits. A dynamic like that indicated that you're relationship is strictly transactional. He should in fact keep appointments, but I think you're too emotional for what the dynamic calls for.

[lightbulb27]

something is interefering with his prioritization of you. what that is, remains a mystery.

porn? another woman? work? shame? video games? something else?

[spartan55]

Yeah aren't friends with benefits situationships whatever tf they're called great? Respect and consideration are afterthoughts... smh.

[Iron_Man]

Let it all go it’s not a relationship it’s only wham bam. Thank you, ma’am.

[driven159]

Time to move. on he is very immature and inconsiderate.

[maximumpower]

Time for you to move on.

There are plenty more fish in the sea.

[smilelots]

do you know were he lives then go there and ask him whats going on.. get the truth and either move on or put up with him or her if that is the case.

[In_Trance]

Move on

[Asker]

I know that. But my question is why the heck do some guys act like this.

[spartan55]

@asker
Because they are assholes? Why does it matter?

[midnightmoon05]

Because you give your all for FREE!
He gets all the benefits. The friend part is none exist. Just a nice word… to call free hooker. He has no need to give you anything.
Understand you have great worth…give it to one who will value you.

[spartan55]

Wtf are talking about a guy valuing you? Wth did expect from friends with benefits? It is fundamentally based on a lack of respect. There is no value anywhere. Girls almost NEVER get out of these arrangements without getting hurt. Or, even worse, they think that they can pussy whip the guy into a relationship.

[midnightmoon05]

@spartan55 that’s what i said. She gave herself for free.
friends with benefits means free hooker. Hooters get pay… friends with benefits is less than a hooker.
Reread what I wrote

She and any one who can’t handle the game needs to not play. She needs to get out and work on her self worth.

[spartan55]

@midnightmoon05
My mistake, I read it wrong.

[Asker]

Ummm women have needs as well duh. And if you say you don’t you’re a liar or a virgin. I never said I expected to get into a relationship with him, if I did, I would of made him work harder for it. There’s guys that are put into dating material and some that are just for hook ups while we are single. All I said was why would a guy keep asking to hang out, then when the time comes he goes MIA but then continues to blow up my phone like nothing? If anything it sounds like control issues. I wanted a guys perspective on this, not a judgement wanna be virgin.

[midnightmoon05]

Do you truly need to have further explanation?
If you do… that’s the exact reason why he has no need to fuck you on his terms. Please young lady… I feel really sad for you.

Rule for friends with benefits. There isn’t one!! 🤦‍♀️
And he knows the rules. You don’t want to accept this game.

We all have needs…we also have self worth. If you don’t … no one will give you any.