He says he likes me but I’m still confused about how he acts?

[Anonymous]

Hi! I’ve been seeing this guy since part of February. We met on a dating app- the bee one. Started to hit things off immediately with conversations, flirty messages, friendly banters, and occasional opening up. I moved residences that was much nearer to his place about 4-5 mins away. So we met for on a Thursday as he had somewhere to be after, then met again on a Friday night to stargaze this is when we kissed, and met at my place again on the Sunday of the same weekend — then we did the deed. We got off of the app around Friday so we were texting. A week passed by, then met on a Saturday, made plans for the holidays and when I reached out he didn’t reply. This silence went on for two weeks until I reached out and sent a final message (for my peace of mind), he replied, we met the next day, continuously talked the whole week, met again on a weekend. Which brings us to today, we kept talking but now only on Snapchat -which I don’t mind as I’ve figured out that I wanted to take it slow like he does- there is a constant daily exchange on Snapchat but never conversations, just pics, prolly for the snap streak.

Okay what confuses me is I admitted to him that I like him, a bit too early on actually, and when we reconciled after the two week silence, he said his feelings haven’t changed, he still likes me and hanging out with me, but he doesn’t want to rush things. He has told me he likes me in person too, did not focus on the body, thank god. The reason why he was apparently on the app was to find a connection primarily (but we all know it’s also to find hookups). He’s told me when we had the convo, was that relationships aren’t his priority and permanent residency is (i understand). Then again, fast forward to recently, we were exchanging flirty stuff and I cut it off saying I’m not his booty call. He responded with, he knows I’m not and if I think that, I’m an idiot. That if I think I was a booty call, might as well delete him then at the moment. So yeah..

[PrettyPriya]

This could be a case of multiple issues that led to him going silent. Sounds like his intention was to take things slow and you may have pushed him a bit. I see in the details that you sort of admit you might have. The other thing is that he could just be genuinely busy.

He also said that relationships are not a priority. Sounds like maybe he is just in it for the hookups and not for anything serious. Now, when you say you "did the deed", are you referring to sex? If so, that to me sounds like he got what he wanted and then ghosted you.

That is the problem with having sex so quickly. They get what they want and then some guys just want to move onto the next sexual conquest. It is a reason why I wait a good amount of time before I am intimate with someone.

If doing the deed does not mean that, you may want to use the update box and update the question explaining what you mean by that since that is how it comes off.

[Asker]

Hi! You’re right with the deed part. See I would understand if he left after the first time but.. we do it every time we see each other. I’m not seeing a lot of people just him, and we did admit that we took it too fast (the meetings for the first week were almost all his ask). Now things have calmed down, my feelings have come into a plateau where I’m just giving out what he gives out. The sex is a good release from the work week. Though I still have the same feelings for him, I’m also taking it very slowly.

But thank you so much! I take your opinion open-mindedly. Thanks for responding!

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome. Not a bad idea to give the same level of energy as he is giving out. That allows him to control how fast things go from here. Best of luck to both of you!

[Changiis07]

It all started too fast, you gave him your goodies before he could start putting effort. Now you are left a bit confused because you like him and told him and he sounds like he isn't looking for anything serious at the moment plus he is already getting sex from you so there's not much left of effort to put because men like a chase and like to work for it

[Asker]

I know… That’s on me too. I got too excited as well. I got off of an LDR so it’s been a while since I’ve done it.

[Changiis07]

I'm sure it's been exciting for you but your left feeling confused but if he doesn't put much effort then it's best to look elsewhere. Take your time to heal and to work on yourself as it helps a ton and then decide what you want and set boundaries and follow through. If you want a serious relationship then be friends with someone first and get to know them see if it's someone worthy

[ThomasDavid1989]

Dating apps, ARE SCAMS. Please stop using them

[Asker]

I find it convenient as I am busy with work and have trouble meeting people organically. I’m an introvert

[ThomasDavid1989]

Go out. The only way to face your FEAR, is to go and face it

[Guy13]

Emery him in real life. IRL

[Asker]

What? 🤣

[In_Trance]

Move on. Clearly not a good match