Being a marine officer' girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend is a marine officer he is working on oil tanker, he's on board for months, i love him so much and we're getting married soon, but since he's away i can't understand how to deal with him as he is very sensitive and secretive, we only talk through internet (he depends on satellite internet ) so i have (3) quetions, (1)- Is it normal that he says he loves me but he only calls once a day and it takes more than 5 hours to reply on whatsapp even the message was deliverd or there's something with the internet? (2)- what does he feel as he is on board for so long and how can this affect him and our relationship, (3)- how do i care and make him feel okay without being deseprate and needy? how anyone can help me understand.

[Anonymous]

Very best of luck w your relationship. I mean it. Sounds as though you’re having trouble already as it is w the communication. I hope you really think about this. Being in the military as you probably already know is not like a regular job. There really is no off time especially if you’re in a field like infantry. Please really think about getting married. You may love him sure but this is going to test you’ll probably more than you’ve ever been tested. A lot of my friends who were married in the Corps got divorced because their wives couldn’t handle it. I think maybe 2 that I can remember lasted. As far as being secretive if it’s in relation to his job then that’s understandable, can’t tell everyone where you are in different situations. If it’s w his life in general maybe he doesn’t want you to worry. Maybe you’ve been through it partially but once you get married, have kids, all that is going to fall on you because chances are he will be deployed a lot. It’s good to have family near if possible. A lot of women broke down emotionally, started talking to a “friend” then things went from there that led to cheating. I remember hitting many countries, a lot of women love Marines, especially the uniforms. A lot of women love men in uniform in general so a lot of temptations there on his part as well. Just really think about it. It’s not impossible, just very hard.

[OfMiceandMen]

Being a marine officer is likely a very demanding job as he is living onboard all the time. So he lives and breathes his job 24/7 to a certain point while he is away. They likely have certain scheduled times for them to contact home and more than likely he contacts you when he can. I anticipate it is likely a very demanding job and he likely needs to sleep too. If he is travelling a great distance he would be subject to time changes, etc. which can throw your system all out of whack. So you may need to adjust a little to make things work.

[Asker]

Okay I understand that, but sometimes i find him online without answering my messages or without talking to me. That mean he got bored or what

[OfMiceandMen]

Not bored, just busy. He will get back to you.

[Quackthulu2]

Don’t expect to maintain a serous relationship with an active duty Marine. It’s never worth it.

[Asker]

what do you mean by it's never worth it?

[Quackthulu2]

The vast majority of military relationships fail, and hard. Usually one person or the other is cheating, often times the person staying home is spending all the money of the person deployed. And from time to time they end in suicide.

[Asker]

how he can cheat on me when he is sailing for long periods.. i think if there's a possibility for cheating it should be me or what do you think?

[Quackthulu2]

Do you think there aren’t other people on a ship? But yes, more often than not it’s the civilian who does the cheating.

[Asker]

there are only men on the oil tanker he is working for.. but i respect ur opinion.

[Quackthulu2]

So says him. But also, guys can still fuck guys. They can also take R&R to go get laid.

[Pterodon]

I’m a Navy vet. Military relationships are very hard but millions have made them work. Just remember he has no, zero, nada control over his life. The needs of the military will always come first no matter what. That’s just the way it is. Communication while deployed is very limited. When at sea they work you constantly to pass the time. The only real day off at sea is Sunday. You can either accept these terms or you can’t. It’s hard being apart but it makes being together much more special

[Asker]

yeah i understand, but do deck officers take Sunday as a day off or they don't?

[Pterodon]

Everyone gets a day to worship

[Guy13]

A military wife, whether Army, Marine, or Navy in my area, is a special calling. Communication is limited, job is absent anywhere from 6 months on ship to 2 years in Afghanistan or Poland now.

There is nothing normal about it and trying to live the relationship within a normal job or stay-home wife life will not work. His time off shore is not his own.

[Asker]

it is very hard i am actually suffering from now but i have no choice but to adapt with this cause i love him and he is really a good guy i don't wanna leave him.