I am friends with a few guys (COMPLETELY platonic relationship), but almost all of my female friends and my boyfriend say they're just trying to play the long game.
They say that guys only try to make friends with you of they think you're cute. I would never go out with these guy friends but everyone acts like I'm cheating. Can boys just be friends with girls or are they secretly hoping you could be more?
You THINK your relationship with these guys is completely platonic because to YOU, it is... but do you really believe that it is from THEIR perspective?
Ask yourself this: if you called any one of these guy friends, and told him that your boyfriend broke up with you a week ago, and that you're SO lonely and SO horny that you are going crazy, and would he come over and see you - do you think any of them would turn you down? Of course not - they would ALL jump at the chance to - ahem - "comfort you."
Now, do exceptions exist? Occasionally. And it also doesn't count if the guy is already in a happy relationship, or if he's gay, or asexual. But if the guy is single and straight and has a typical sex drive, then it's almost certain that he's not "just a friend" even if you think of him that way - or even if HE thinks of himself that way. So many guys will befriend attractive girls just so they can spend time around them, and thus hopefully be the first guy in line to date you (or just have sex with you) the minute things don't work out with your current guy. That's the reality, and you should have no illusions about that.
There are a couple of different relationship podcasts, and girls on those shows often say that their guy friends would never want to sleep with them. About a year ago, a couple of them started having girls who made this claim to call one of those guys live on air, on her speakerphone, and in so many words, offer him sex. And over a year's time, exactly 100% of those men said "I'll be right over" - not a single "friend" turned her down or had any reservations, even though the girl was adamant that there's no way he'd be interested in sleeping with her.
Most women simply WAY underestimate men's loneliness and their desire for sex.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ip7kP_dd6LUYou may or may not know about Nora Vincent. She was a lesbian woman who decided she was going to try to live as a man for 2 years, and see for herself how privileged it was to live as a male. She ultimately was so disturbed by how men were treated, and by how much society dismisses men's problems that she developed major mental health problems, and she ultimately arranged to have assisted suicide because of it. A majority of men are incredibly lonely and are desperate for sex and love, and though they put on a good front, you should not underestimate how little female attention most men get, or how fast they will be to jump on ANY opportunity to be with a girl in those situations.
It may be that women can be platonic with men, but men are mostly unable to be platonic with women unless they're already in a happy, healthy relationship with one.
I do know that a lot of men befriend women because they are hoping for more, and the fact that lots of relationships begin this way is one of the primary reason for this behavior. That being said, its certainly possible for men to simply befriend women because of true friendship, and, I believe it is more common than both men and women believe it is. Its worth mentioning also that there are a lot of men and women alike that keep people that are romantically interested in them, in the friend zone because they like the attention or benefits. This primarily occurs with women more than men, which has led to the sometimes common assumption among men that it isn't worth being just friends with women. If a woman wants a platonic relationship with a man, its in her best interest to ensure its not one-sided. Id say the best way to do that, is to help him understand women by giving him your perspective on things like a sister would to a brother, and potentially help him find a woman that's romantically interested in him.
A lot of guys respect you based on your income and visual beauty and that is why I find girls are more loyal than males. A male might reject you as a friend for gaining weight or losing your job while a woman won’t reject you as a friend unless your a bad person.
A woman's income means literally nothing to a man. It's as important to men as, oh, the brand of a man's socket set is to you. Men would like a woman who can pay her bills and isn't deep in debt, but otherwise, her income is not an attraction factor at all. That's a lie that Feminism has taught women - no man has ever said this.
No I had many guy friends who were not into me.. and I had many I don't know about... so who knows... do you only friend guys you are attracted to? I basically friend anyone who is nice to me 🤣
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Not necessarily. There have been a few less than attractive women that I thought were super cool and I tried to hang out with. The problem is they all started to catch feelings and got really weird on me because they knew it would never happen, and it hurt them. I figured it best to just stop talking to them instead of sticking around and giving them false hope, which would hurt them even more.
Now the only unattractive female friends I have are all in their late 50s and 60s. They're just work friends though
This is a really interesting perspective, so thank you!! I have a boyfriend and my guy friends aren't particularly attractive, so I don't think I need to worry about catching feelings :))
Sounds like you're doing it right 👍
U probably should make it very clear at the start that you're not interested in them n just want to be mates
I see your point, but that would also kinda make me sound like a dick. There's really no nice way of doing it other than avoiding them completely
Just say ur only looking for friendship its nothing personal. If it were me I'd appreciate the honesty
Yeah that's true, that wouldn't be so bad
I keep being told guys r just being nice to me, but it doesn't feel like that to me as I can tell the difference. But if they r just being nice id rather they clarify either way it just leaves me confused
Not necessarily, if their true intentions is a friendship then your appearance wouldn't matter, if they are befriending only attractive women is because they plan on sticking it in at some point and clearly that's dangerous if you want a friend because they're lusty intentions can eventually effect you, I'll give an example, you find a guy that treats you perfectly, he respects you and cares about you and you ask this "friend" what he thinks, he can end up bashing the guy and completely changing your mind just cause he wants to be the one to you know, I actually just posted something about friends and I feel like it might help you, I also recommend you stick to the same gender with friends unless you know their intentions are clean and good for you.
no there's no such thing. either we don't or i cut the losses. i know girls friendzone guys cuz i believe its a nice way for a girl to reject a guy but a guy is never friendzoned if he doesn't let the friendship to happen. girls don't even care if a guys stays or not so it doesn't matter. I have two female friends who i adore and love and im not attracted to them at all. thats the only way i can be friends with a girl. i only date attractive girls not be friends with them. unless she is giving me a million dollars a month to just be friends then im down.
There are always rare exceptions to the rule, but most of the time, guys will befriend girls that they are attracted to, at least moderately attracted to.
It’s possible for a guy to have female friends that are strictly platonic, as I myself have a small handful of friends that fit in that category.
But for most guys and for most cases, guys will befriend girls that they are attracted to (it may even be on the subconscious level).
No untrue. I was obese at 15 and I had a handsome boy best friend who had a beautiful girlfriend. He was popular and I was a nerd. But we used to hang out every day after school and weekends. I wondered why he wanted to be friends with someone like me. But I always had guy friends. Fast forward, these guys had some sort of feelings towards me when they confessed to me later on. I wasn’t cute. But they liked me anyways
I think they can be just friends. No long game or short game, just friends.
They may simply realize the girl has great morals/qualities that they appreciate in a friend. No attraction, other than the above-mentioned.
And, it is always great to have a friend that is the opposite sex, to bounce ideas off with respect to men and/or women you may either be in an existing relationship with or perhaps interested in.
Not always, but it's true that men prefer to befriend women that they find attractive, that way it might be developed for more than friendship, also most of my female friends has talked to be about intimate stuff, so it was not totally platonic relationships, so you better watch out.
No that is completely false. Attraction plays a role to some degree. But matters even more is the attitude and the way the girl carries herself.
Some guys may take the path of friendship. Some guys will be direct with you regarding relationship. It is your call.
Depends really most of the time is what others tell you because they have a view which you don't have.
But it's possible to have friends from the other side nothing wrong with it. Yet 99% of the time has an other angle.
But as another person here said most men who are above certain age will gladly be only friends with a woman. And then it can still be a con so depends on how faithful you are in the end. Remember no one can make you do something if you don't alow it.
No boys can’t just be friends. I’ve tried and I ended up liking her. The older men get the less likely they only want friendship. Most of the time it’s not about being friends. On the rare occasion they actually really do only want friendship. If your attractive, it will only be a matter of time before someone catches feelings.
Hormones drive guys to be crazy just as much as girls. I'd say from puberty till junior year in college - nearly every guy will see every girl as being attractive.
At my age, I find probably about 40% of girls I meet to be attractive. Around your age that would have been somewhere around 95%.
depends on the guy honestly, but for a certain big portion yea
Some will, some won't. In the end, it depends on the person. I would subject seeing how they act towards others, specially those they have no interest in.
I use to have a lot of guy friends but I have found out they were playing the long game. Almost all of them tried something.
Only 2 of them never tried anything and they are my bestfriends.
i don't think so, i mean it can be true for some sure, but i doubt the majority of people begin friendships out of attraction... i could be completely wrong though lol
Depends if you join the chess club or other activities they are already in. They can just be friends. But if we talking approaching and making you a friend it means they are interested.
Considering guys screw fat chicks and other undesirables, you think they wouldn't screw you?
Hopefully this question is put to rest finally
No when I am searching for a friend I could care less how they physically look as long as we are compatible and he or she isn't a racist bigot because I am a black man I am down with chatting with others of any background.
No. Because I have been befriended by guys and they really only wanted to be friends. I would never understand why a cute guy would want to be my friend.
Any person regardless of their gender that will only be your friend if you are "pretty" is NOT worth having as a friend. Kick em to the curb!
Just cause they may find you cute don't mean they want you. So even if a guy did befriend people he found attractive it don't mean much.
Nah. I have many guys who can tell i'm... kind sorta. Then they wanna be friends. But this is only online, but i think it counts
It's different for different guys. Some will only want to be friends with you if they DON'T find you attractive. Others only want to make friends with girls that they would actually date. And some just don't care at all. So it's really a mixed bag.
Young boys do that a lot...
Older guys/men like me would rather a girl/woman who has a good personality and a good sense of humour.
Don't care if she is a 10/10 or 3/10 looks don't decide if I'll befriend a girl.
Most guys will only be friends with a woman they are interested in either romantically or sexually.
If it only friendship then appearance of a woman would not be an issue.
Some maybe we i have some female friends that i find completely unattractive sexually or romantically.
If a guy only wants to be "friends" because you are attractive, they don't actually want to be friends, they just wanna fuck you. It's more likely a guy would be friends with an unattractive girl.
“Attractive” in a general sense means you attract others to you. Not necessarily sexual, but most commonly sexual. I find female standuo comedians attractive in all types of looks.
For some yes for others maybe not but I’m guessing for the majority of men yes
I’ve had completely platonic friendships with girls. I was their friend because they treated me like a friend.
I have some female friends that really I'm not attracted to. I don't think they're cute but they have a good attitude.
That's what's guys specialize in 😎
Some men do, not gonna lie. But, some men do just want to be friends with you because you click well.
Is it legal to be on this site if under the age of 18?
No. Any girl who believes this is full of herself.
Not true, I have friendships with women that I don't find attractive.
Maybe, but it might mean he finds you attractive in non-visual ways.
Guys want a good girl for a serious relationship... if you are a bad girl then you are only for sex
No. But if they're not attracted to you the may act strange if they feel you're miscontruing thier friendliness for attraction.
Most guys probably
I've got platonic female friends generally from intelligence or occasionally money
I can ask thesame thing to bisexuals then. Why do they even have friends?
Not true. A woman just can be a very cool person to be friends with.
No, I friended girls whom I was not attracted to. With the ones I liked, I always avoided them. I couldn't even talk to them
I guess shared hobbies and interests don’t exist anymore
For most, yes.
I seem to be friends with women I find attractive
This is universal truth...
I think that is true to some extent.
I never have heard that before.
You're also only 14
Yes that's true.
Yes boys can be friends
No, it's not.
Very rarely.
Yes..
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