Is a 22 year old girl living with her parents as pathetic as a 37 year old man doing it?

[Anonymous]

[OfMiceandMen]

It depends on why they are living at home. If the male just can't be bothered to get a job (s) and is mooching-off his parents then that is a pathetic scenario.

If he lives with them bc he has an ailment, or lost everything and is attempting to right his life, then it may be warranted in interim. As long as he doesn't milk it for all is worth.

As for the 22 year old girl, if she just got out of school and is saving up for first and last then most parents don't mind, but if she is doing nothing to get a job and is also mooching-off her parents then I would say she is just as pathetic as the 37 year old.

Both are adults, and if they are both living at home to take advantage of their parents generosity, then they are equally pathetic. Just bc the 37 year old has been doing it longer, doesn't make the 22 year old any better?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Pathetic = to be pitied

Advantageous situations are not pitiful, struggle filled situations are, so you have it backwards.

Too many people use pathetic as an insult, when it actually means you feel sympathy for a person's misfortune.

Staying in the home you grew up in is smart, it gives you a safety net and savings while persuing wealth and preferable career paths, it also is good for being melded into family ran businesses.

Struggling for the sake of societal acceptance, pride, or "independence" is pitiful.

[OfMiceandMen]

@TheSpaceGnome Pathetic, also means:
miserably inadequate; of very low standard, as in "he's a pathetic excuse for a man".

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes, and that is the same thing I just said, just reworded.

Miserably = the person is unhappy
inadequate = the person is struggling
low standard = the result or cause of struggling being unable to meet a desired outcome.

Again, what you wrote is intended to denote pity. Using it as an insult is a lowbrow misinterpretation.

[OfMiceandMen]

In addition:

Staying in the home you grew up in is smart, it gives you a safety net and savings while persueing wealth and preferable career paths, it also is good for being melded into family ran businesses.

I don't have a problem with them staying home long enough to work towards those things, but they can't be so entitled to think they can do it for free or without rules. It's called freeloading and is disrespectful slap in the face to their parents.

[OfMiceandMen]

@TheSpaceGnome The sentence says he's a he's a pathetic excuse for a man, I don't see how that is not an insult? if someone said that to me, I wouldn't sit there and think... oh, they just pity me. I would think, man that is an insult and they think I am worthless.

[TheSpaceGnome]

People twist it around as an insult, because they have low expectations of their own life quality, and unreasonably high expectations of themselves, so they see success without hardship as a personal failure, when in fact that is the optimal outcome in life.

The reality is that most people are pathetic, and only wealthy and privilaged who had "silver spoon" lives aren't.

[TheSpaceGnome]

"if someone said that to me, I wouldn't sit there and think... oh, they just pity me. I would think, man that is an insult and they think I am worthless."

Yeah I know, I'm basically saying stop thinking that way, because it does mean pity, unless the person saying it is an illiterate snob.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It's actually a tactic used by the rich to keep everyone else poor, by making it socially frowned upon to have success inherited and compounded and grown exponentially like the rich do. So to get out of that trap, you have to abandon that "do it all yourself" mindset, and think like the rich do, and take advantage of as much help as you can while also doing as much as you can.

[OfMiceandMen]

@TheSpaceGnome I see what you are getting at in regards to not being an insult. Perhaps, I should have said dead-beat instead of pathetic scenario if they are at home mooching off their family.

[TheSpaceGnome]

A dead beat is a person who abandons their family, so thats still not accurate.

Either way, you really should ditch the "moochers are bad" motto, and consider that mentality to be brainwashing as I mentioned above.

[TheSpaceGnome]

The richest people on earth got that way by having households that had multiple generations in it, and running a family business.

Its actually pathetic if you have to go out on your own and struggle in life, because it means you either care more about what society thinks of you, than your own well being and goals, or it means your parents suck, and had a kid/kids they were not prepared for. Both of which are pathetic.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Depends on the situation. If either of them are paying their fair share of the household and aren't mooching, then no. Sometimes it's hard on people, especially with medical situations and you have to also consider if the parents aren't doing so well. Is it pathetic if the thirty seven year old man lives with his parents because his parents are infirm in some fashion and they can't afford to send them to assisted living or a nursing home?

[EricSummer]

No, it's not. That would imply a huge difference between the genders in these matters which I don't think is fair to say.

Depending on the situation it's not necessarily pathetic even for the 37-year-old, but usually it is.

[gorydetails]

Nah. It's pretty normal for young adults to live at home to get their feet under them.

[Jamie05rhs]

No. It's more pathetic for the second person that you mentioned.

[Wise4myage]

No, I thinks its pathetic for the older guy.

[Reijen]

No, it isn't.