Why do guys flirt when they don’t like you?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it’s hurtful and I thought it was genuine. Then he gets a girlfriend and avoids me

Even if flirting is “fun” as a single person it’s still hurtful to some

it made me feel like I’m easy to flirt with bc I’m not attractive

[Effably]

To me flirting is like playing a game together. It isn't a commitment unless we act on it and it doesn't mean anything unless we attribute it value.

The key when dealing with flirty people really is in gauging their response to escalating. Do they blush, correct you, double down, so on. By looking at that their intentions become obvious.

You can also always, in the name of flirting, make advances that will make it abundantly clear where you stand.

And lastly, I much prefer to flirt with people that are attractive to me even if I only see them as friends. So do not take it negatively if someone does. From their view they might have made it clear to you they liked you only to not have you act on it. Having been rejected they move on. Its confusing for everyone when miscommunication happens.

[Asker]

Well I dressed up one time and he avoided me. I’m not usually dressed up at work but I had just come back from an event.. anyway he had an opposite reaction. Wasn’t around me or looking

[Effably]

That tells us almost nothing. I met my neighbour the other day. Cute girl. Think we have some chemistry. She waved, went hi and moved closer.

In the most Swedish way ever I said Hi back and then distanced myself and stonecold ignored her.

In hindsight? Pretty dumb. At the moment? I was on my way back from exercise and it dawned on me I likely smelled of sweat. We all do odd things. Reading too much into an isolated incident is rarely good.

[Asker]

No you asked me if I made advances and I said I dressed up. He could of thought I was dressing for him

[Asker]

Like one time he came over to me near the fax machine. He was helping others but he kept looking over at me while he was helping. I didn’t need help but he came over and stood in close proximity. Our arms were almost touching and he said “finally I get to come over to you. How are you?

We were side by side and he looked right at me with a slight smile and mellow voice

[Effably]

Right. And what did you do? Because if he's the only one flirting then you're basically rejecting him.

He won't assume you dressed up for him if you also keep stonewalling the guy.

[Asker]

Well he’s in a relationship and he avoided me kind of so it’s whatever ig

[Asker]

Yes, when he did that I stepped away from him nervously

He stepped on the side bc ig he saw I was “uncomfortable”

[Summeroflove]

It depends. Sometimes guys aren’t flirting and girls get the wrong idea. Some people also feel good when they hurt others. There are men and women who do that unfortunately.



There is people who want to test to see if someone likes them. To stroke their own egos. But don’t really like them or are interested.

[Asker]

True maybe he was just being nice

[Summeroflove]

Maybe. I can’t read minds. But it’s definitely possible he’s just being nice.

What’s flirting for one person might not be for another

[Asker]

Like one time he came over to me near the fax machine. He was helping others but he kept looking over at me while he was helping. I didn’t need help but he came over and stood in close proximity. Our arms were almost touching and he said “finally I get to come over to you. How are you?

We were side by side and he looked right at me with a slight smile and mellow voice

[Summeroflove]

Yeah I really don’t know. Maybe he’s trogntto mess with you. Or maybe he doesn’t mean to come off this way.

If you tried asking him out and he said no. Whatever the case may be. I would drop it

[Summeroflove]

If someone really wants you. They’ll say yes. At least to a date

[Asker]

Yeah he has a girlfriend now

[Summeroflove]

Yeah regardless. Even if he asked you out. If he’s got a girlfriend. Leave that alone.

[Summeroflove]

I understand being curious. But. I would just keep it friendly

[Adogdog]

I would only ever flirt with a girl I liked.

[Asker]

But if he is possibly doing the same to a couple more and he’s nice looking with a lot going for himself

[Adogdog]

Yeah, I would not do that though.

[Asker]

Good for you

[Adogdog]

Well Thank You

[Still-alive]

kind of why i ask first online if they are ok with that or not. i like to get consent on it.