Why'd he say such mean things when I helped him out or love?

[Anonymous]

I'm seeing this guy. He was on my friendlist doe two years and we have an mutual friend. He texted me in May 31 and we met up in June 22. We started dating in July 13. See each other everyday. we meet everyday afterwork. he'd come to my workplace gate and wait for me. everyday. i was enjoying that too. he is my first serious boyfriend in 27 years. he's an engineer who's only started his career and doesn't get paid much and he helps out his family which is a normal thing here. so I noticed when he was paying the taxi he didn't have money left to go back home. i gave him some and he was embarrassed but took it and thanked me. we were meeting everyday and spending a lot of money and energy. we went to work early in morning and came to our homes at night. i was exhausted. he didn't seem like he was. i don't like staying out for such a long time. i wanted to hang out with friends and family siemtiems too. so after two months of meeting everyday and eating out every noon (which was something he would be angry or sad I'd I didn't want to go) I told him let's not meet this Friday. i would really like to relax and recharge after 6 days of workweek. at this point I am giving him money to go back home because he didn't have any coz he'd spend a lot on Uber because he didn't his work car. he cancelled the driver because the car came in scheduled times and that would shorten our time together. He'd take the money but would protest for a while doe me to not give him money saying he'll manage. he borrows from friends and so I told him to take it from me. he did. but when I said one Wednesday let's not meet this Friday he shouted at me in public asking why and I said we're both exhausted and I'd love to spend time at home with family. he told me I hate him n am tired of him. i said we sownd too much on restaurants he said oh it's about money then. you're giving me money that's why you get to decide if we can meet.

Why'd he make it into that?

[Finchie40]

It sounds like you are dating a territorial insecure guy , Most guys think a girl will stop liking him if his wallet runs dry and he thins she is going to replace him with another guy , that makes more money , Sadly there are girl’s that do that shit , so the fact that you want to spend time with your family and friends over spending time with him is making him think you are up to something cuz he is thinking since he is running low on cash , you are now losing interest in him and he is thinking you are now checking out of the relationship and going to replace him after you both spent so much time together when it wasn’t an issue before , but now all of a sudden in his mind , you all of a sudden don’t want to see him, so he is thinking the worse case scenario so he is getting butt hurt over it. This is an indication of a big Red Flag it basically means he doesn’t trust you , which is a very bad thing and sadly a lot of it probably stems down from shit he probably watches on social media or past experiences he had with a girl that cheated on him and demanded space from him

[Gingerbread_GB]

He's extremely insecure. You did not help the situation by going out with him everyday and giving him money. He basically expected this to continue. When you changed up the schedule, he sees it as you are no longer interested in him, because that's what insecure people do.

Then when insecure people feel like they are trapped, they lash out. He probably think you are above his station, so if you lost interest in him, there's nothing he could do to win you back. So he get's angry.

My opinion is that it's going to be very hard for you to deal with someone like this. He's the type of men that need to feel dominance over the woman. Anytime you make a decision, he would see it as you no longer care for him.

[Asker]

Whenever I express my opinion strongly he says I need a submissive man. I like to dominate men. And after I got a really great job at an university He became insecure if I'm gonna run away with the professors or I'm being proud for earnjng more than him. It hurts my heart because I love him so much. first thing I thought after getting the job was now we can live comfortably and help out his family and travel and do things we couldn't before

[Gingerbread_GB]

He's the type of guy that hates himself. There's the saying right? "If you can't love yourself, nobody else can." Your request to not see each other everyday is completely normal, especially since you two are just dating. I don't know what else you two argued about, but from what you described, you two are not a good fit right now.

You said you love him very much, so there are two things you can try. You can accommodate him more, letting him make decisions, or ask his opinion on things more often. That'll boost his ego, make him feel more manly. Alternatively you can tell him that you still need you are still a person. Just because you are in a relationship, doesn't mean you two have to do everything together all the time.

[SoJust]

You should know that whoever you do a favor to becomes your enemy here, he met some of your needs financially, as a result of these needs, you felt embarrassed for him, he didn't have enough financial money, you knew he was taking care of his own family, so you helped him with some money, he went to your pain, obviously, and then he must have thought that he took control of you, and when you said that I want to spend time with my family, he interpreted it as follows, he meets my every need, this relationship revolves around him, he will decide everything, he perceives it, and so he shouted at you, don't forget who if you do good, he will become your enemy

[Cute_potato01]

If he's making confusion.. I think he gotta go