Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
So, this was years ago. I don’t need to know it was dumb, I was 19 at the time but basically a guy I saw at an event once who locked eyes with me and did the most with his flirting saw me walking past YEARS later (first saw him when I was 15). I basically used one of my friends public social media pages to stalk his account because I liked him and wanted to learn more about him as a person.
Fast forward I’m 19 years old, and walking with my friend on a street. He sees me, stares at me the whole time to the point I found it creepy (I didn’t recognise him at this point). Even my friend noticed and she didn’t recognise him either at the time. Anyway when he finally looked away, which was an awkwardly long time he looked at my friend and a few seconds later he looks to the side facing away from us. He looks pissed. Like really really mad.
Next thing I know, people who know us mutually are also giving me weird looks like I’m a freak. Ok, so I guess I get why he is mad but not really. Anyway, I saw him again after 3 years in town and he was with some other girl and stopped to look at me, I guess to see if it’s me.
I just want to know if I have a chance…
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Sounds like a he’s taken already by that woman you saw him with. Anyway, I’m sure you haven’t changed so drastically in 3 years that he wouldn’t recognize you, and I’m sure he had a flashback of the chick who stalked him, I know I wouldn’t forget that. Doesn’t even sound like you had a chance in the first place. Not saying that in a rude way but you two weren’t talking or anything, you only saw him then stalked him. I’d think differently if that hadn’t happened and maybe you two had a little something going but this is not that...
He was a distance away. That’s why he probably wasn’t sure. He came a little closer to check. That much was obvious because I was also unsure if it was him but his reaction of doing the same to me gave it away.
I know it’s creepy but listen. All girls have done this at some point, ESPECIALLY in their teens. Do I still do it? No, I grew up and got a life. My cousins pretty popular and had a lot of girls stalk his social media, I even told him and he didn’t give a crap. It’s made me wonder if this guys overreacting but I don't know. Either way, yeah I was wrong for doing so.
Well we were 15 when we saw each other, and yeah I did have a chance. I’ve never had anyone blatantly show interest in me like that, and maybe that’s why I found him so endearing.
Ok, so you’re basically saying I blown it and it’s best to never speak to him again
@WanderingLoveWizard well at least I know who’s behind the Anon account now
@asker don’t worry I deleted it, I have that guy blocked he’s just a huge a-hole trolling around here lol. In response to what you said, my thing is that not everyone is the same. You’re cousin is a dude who doesn’t mind if someone stalks him, he may even enjoy the attention and that’s totally fine. However, not every guy will have such a dismissive perspective. I get that you were a teen but this wasn’t long ago, it also really upset him and he may be taken by the woman he was with.
Why not just move on? I think the idea of circling back to a guy you were interested in usually happens if you aren’t having much luck with dating. You go back to the dude who made you feel this or that way, or that you think is different than others.
Yeah I totally get what you’re saying and I agree. Not everyone is the same but I guess I’ve used my cousins reaction to tell myself it wasn’t that bad when I feel like I did something wrong.
At the time he was with another woman, and yes I know this because I stalked his socials back then. She actually changed her profile picture to a picture of him and her after the whole thing happened when we walked past each other.
The other girl was someone different. I don’t even know if they were a couple tbh but I guess it’s safe to assume they were. They weren’t holding hands or anything.
I do move on but every few years I think about him again, again because I’ve never felt a connection to someone like that after him. I remember when I first saw him and I remember thinking he’s one of the most attractive guys I’ve seen, then he noticed me and started moving closer and sitting in our table to talk. Yes I do usually think of him when I’m lonely, I know this is probably me being bored and wanting to feel what I felt with him again. I’ve been single since mid 2021. I haven’t really tried to date… I guess I’m kind of hoping something like that would happen again with another person.
I don’t know, I’ve always thought I had crazy chemistry with this guy. To the point that if I told others about it they think it’s weird… cuz it is. We just clicked I can’t explain it.
Trust me you will feel that spark with someone else. Dating in your 20s can be such a shitshow, I went through some of the worst heartbreaks and disappointments ever, I even had a guy where the feeling was how you get with your guy. Super specific and no one else has made you feel that way so you kinda hang onto him mentally. Trust me though, the right guy will come, I met mine at 30 when I’d given up on love lol. I don’t know what your social life is like but maybe you should get out more, travel, etc., open yourself up to meet other men so you can put this one in the past.
I’m glad someone can relate! I always feel awkward explaining what happened with him because people can easily call you delusional if they haven’t experienced something like that but it is what it is.
I do travel a lot. I’m like one extreme to the other, when I’m home I’m mostly home but when I’m out and about I’m extra social. But that’s usually when I’m with my friends and I’m not left alone with my thoughts.
When this whole thing with this guy happened I felt a lot of guilt, I didn’t mean to upset him at all. I obviously didn’t want any of this to happen and it’s just weird when so much has happened but no words have been directly spoken about it. That’s why I guess it feels like unfinished business. Sometimes I want to DM him and apologise and explain myself but then I’m scared of rejection and that would be really embarrassing. Especially with everything that’s happened, I also don’t trust him anymore because he told others and I feel like any move I make to speak to him about it would just be broadcasted to other people.
Oh okay, that’s good! I mainly lived in a small town and didn’t travel much, so I felt like that lent a hand in why I fixated on a guy, our friend groups were too overlapping and in general it felt hard to move on lol. I definitely understand your position when it comes to this guy and how you feel about him but honestly I just don’t think you now better until you experience better, or at least something similar. I just don’t think you’ve gotten to that person yet, but one day you will, cliche as that sounds lol. As for messaging him, I wouldn’t. I’m sure he has put that behind him but not in a way that you should engage him again. Leave him in the past along with that situation.
Ugh, I love your understanding girl. You’re so easy to talk to and polite.
I think you’re right. I probably just have a lack of experience to a degree, and that’s why this guy just stands for something else to me. I’ve only been with 2 guys so that would make sense, although both have been serious relationships.
Yeah I think you’re right and I know that deep down. I can’t help but feel like it’s unifinished, but that’s something I have to deal with. If it’s meant to happen then I guess it will, like everything in life.
Thank you! Maybe it’s just wisdom from being older but I just remember experiencing what you’re going through and in hindsight, that dude can feel like the only one who will ever make you feel a certain way, until that eureka man comes along who changes everything lol.
This may sound random but do you ever feel like seeing your friends or people you knew in high school in serious relationships, maybe even marriage triggers you as well? For me, early to mid 20s I saw so much of that, so when I was single, aside from my lonely moments, their relationships/families would also make me feel “behind”. I was ready to be done dating and find my man to settle down with, no matter what I did I couldn’t stop wanting a relationship lol. It’s when I decided to stop searching for love and focus on myself though that my current boyfriend came out of no where. Maybe it will be a similar thing for you too.
Yes it literally does feel like that. It’s just the chemistry aspect of it that makes it different for me. I’m really hoping that eureka man makes shoes up soon lol. I have had similar encounters but nothing quite like that.
Yeah, I think it does. My friends are mostly single but my cousins that are my age are mostly married now. There’s one that is not, but other than that, everyone else is in the next stage of their life.
I’ve honestly always wanted to be in a relationship, since I was a child. I’ve always wanted to love someone. I guess it’s daddy issues lol, but I guess I’ve always longed to feel something and when I thought I saw it, its just stuck with me. I could do with focussing on myself more, I just got diagnosed with ADHD, and waiting for meds. I’m hoping that would give me more drive.
Am I like speaking to your past self or something? 😅
Yesss this very much does give talking to my past self vibes lol I struggled with a lot of that especially mid 20s and for me, 23-26 were literal bump in the road years. I didn’t meet a really good guy til I turned 27 and although I thought he was a eureka man, ultimately it didn’t work out but if anything he showed me that there were still men out there who’d make you feel like that first one did. I’m not sure what your 2 relationships were like or how pivotal they were, but if anything I hope they were good distractions from the one guy. Have you been trying to date? I’ve always been the same way when it comes to relationships, I just always wanted one no matter what lol maybe it is a bit of daddy issues.
That’s pretty cute ngl 😂
Yeah I’ve never really given this guy much thought if I’m seeing someone else. I’m definitely the kind of person that gives someone my all if we get that serious. I haven’t made much effort tbh. My life has changed quite drastically since covid and I’ve lost some confidence in all honesty but I’m picking myself up again.
Yeah, I’ve always longed for a good stable relationship where someone would love me as much as I loved them. I’ve not had many stable relationships in my life tbh. Maybe that’s why.
Sorry, just to make it clear I was responding to your question about going on dates when I said “I haven’t made much effort”.
I died laughing when I saw that your question is if you still have a chance lol
There's your answer
I was 19 though… I’m in my mid 20s now.
That's what makes it weird! Lol
If this was a month ago, I'd say maybe. But 3 years?
Girl, you don't have a crush. That's an obsession and a creepy one at that.
Do you even know the guy?
If what was a month ago? You know what you have a point actually. He was probably creeped out thinking I probably stalked him for years. I didn’t.
It was a few months and I ended up unfriending him on my friends account because I was starting to realise it’s a little odd. Would have been fine if I hadn’t by chance just happen to see him in town and he put it all together in his head at that moment
I'm not calling you a creep, and maybe I don't have all the facts straight, but it seems weird based on what you've said.
You can always give it a shot and see what happens. What do I know?
Look. It don’t look good but all girls do it. All girls. I’m sorry, but the girl you really like, yeah her. She’s done it too. The only difference is I got caught.
It probably is weird. I knew this guy liked me, and I liked him because I found him really attractive and he made it quite obvious when we were 15. I’ve never felt a strong connection like that to anyone and that’s why I’ve never been able to forget him, obsession? Maybe yeah. Back when I found his socials, I would say I did get a little cookoo but I eventually snapped out of it and unfollowed him.
No, tell me what you know! I asked lol
Do I know the guy? No. Sorry I missed that question before.
I saw him when I was 15 and we flirted. The next event was with girls and boys separate so I only got to see him in the beginning and he was trying to find me too but we never got to talk after that. So basically the next time we saw each other was that horrible day when I was with my friend
Stalking on social media isn't weird, I do that shit too. It's just the whole story in general
What’s weird about it?
If you don't know, I probably can't explain it to you, but I'll try...
Just the fact that it's been 3 years since you stalked him, you don't know him, he gave you dirty looks the few times he did see you, and you still wanna know if have a chance.
Sorry darling. That's weird, and I'm thinking the answer is most likely no
BUT, you won't know for sure until you try. What do have to lose?
What's weird is that you haven't forgotten about him already and moved on. I guess that's the weird part
FYI, I knew what you thought, I just wanted you to elaborate on it more.
It’s been longer than 3 years. This was a long time
Ago now, like 6 years ago. He gave me dirty looks the time when we walked past each other, not the last time I saw him with another girl. I’m not saying Theresa any significant meaning to that, I’m just clearing this out, I’m not that delusional.
I have forgotten about him in between this time but when I feel lonely and single I guess I think about him again since we had a lot of chemistry, and almost like it’s unfinished business. I don’t always care about all this. I haven’t spent years thinking about him. It’s very nice and then, but I also know some people that know him, they’re quite close to him and I guess that’s also a reminder of him.
I’m not saying there* is* a* significant meaning
It’s every* now* and then
That makes sense. I stand corrected.
You know what, all this proves is what I've said for a long time. Crushes don't go away. Well they might eventually, but once you like someone, you always will (unless they do something terrible or get fat or something).
I stand by that whole heartedly.
I think you should go for it. He could be your soul mate, you just never know until you try
I think about it and I’ve been very close to sending him a message since he knows that I know how social media anyway. I just think it’s too big a risk, I don’t know if I can trust this guy to leave it between us and be respectful. Like I said, I know people that are close to him and the last thing I need is more weird looks.
I don’t know, I think the fact that I never got to really know him is what gets to me. With other guys, it’s finished you know? This is like, all over the place and it doesn’t feel finished. Anyway, eventually I’m just going to meet someone and forget about this guy again lol. But I think the fact that this situation just feels like unfinished business, whether it’s the unknown or the lack of communication when there was a clear conflict, will always get to me.
Something keeps drawing you towards him. You could try to start a normal friendship. Or just forget about him like you said.
I wouldn't worry about the "what ifs" though. Those are pointless, usually wrong, and they get in the way of happiness
I honestly don’t believe he’s forgotten about me. If he did he wouldn’t care for my presence. Everytime I’ve seen him he’s always noticed or tried to clarify if it’s me or not like what he did last time. Stop in his tracks turn around to kneel down on the floor and put his face against the glass wall to check. I just don’t know if there’s still a part of him that likes me or if I am just the creep now, and nothing else.
I guess that’s what I want to know. I’m hoping time would tell at some point. I guess if it’s not meant to be then it won’t happen. I know it’s sucks since I’m timid and don’t want to make the first move but with everything that’s happened, eh. I rather not. I do have a slight expectation that he would want to talk if we ever actually got the chance to again. But again, if it doesn’t happen then it won’t.
I don't blame you for feeling like that.
I will tell you though, even though I said it was creepy (and I was mostly kidding), it's damm near impossible for us guys to see women as creepy unless they do something really really weird like set up cameras in the bathroom or something lol
Stalking on social media from a girl is anything but creepy to us. It's flattering and kinda cute.
I hope that helps you feel better about it, because that's the truth
I don't know, you really did a 180. Im not sure if I’m being trolled at this point 😂 but I’ll take it.
See, I’ve heard people say this about it being flattering and how girls aren’t very creepy to guys as a whole in these situations. But then it’s like, why did he look so angry and tell people? It seems like it just was to him. I don’t think he took it as a compliment. Other people have said “maybe he was mad that you didn’t add him yourself properly”. Maybe but still, I don’t think I would do that to someone I liked, like telling others and making it known with people that also know me.
Anyway, I guess none of us really know how he feels as a whole. So I just need to suck it up
I’ll be honest, I didn’t get a good feeling from him when I was walking with my friends. Girls often get a feeling when they’re being watched by a guy and I got that feeling before I looked up to confirm I was being watched. I immediately looked away as soon as I saw a paid of eyes looking back at me. I didn’t look at him he whole time he was watching me after that because it was creepy. I sneaked a glance when he looked at my friend and that’s when I recognised him.
I'm not trolling you lol. I was giving you a little shit in the beginning about it being creepy, but I'm being real with you now.
It is flattering to most guys, but like you said, maybe to him it's not. Who knows.
Anyway, it sounds like you've pretty much worked out what you're gonna do. I hope this all ends up in your favor 👍
Pair* of eyes
Trust your gut and follow your heart. Both know better than you're brain when it comes to this stuff, speaking from experience
Thanks for being real. I appreciate it… and thanks for the long convo lol. I appreciate that too, it’s rare on here
It sure is! I enjoy it actually. You're welcome. I know I wasn't much help, but I have a feeling you already know what to do
Oh, can I just ask you one more question since you changed up a bit. What made you change your view a little? Was it listening to my perspective as a whole? Or also his behaviour?
You don’t need to respond since we’ve already said bye and stuff. No hard feelings
Girl, I dont ignore people. It's not in my DNA lol. You can ask me anything.
I changed my mind after you gave me all the facts and details.
So yeah, it was your perspective as a whole.
It sounded weird at first, but when you explained your situation a little more, you started to sound a lot less weird and more like a normal girl with a long lasting crush
Oh ok, that’s good to know! 😄. I guess that gives me more confidence within myself in this situation.
So from any of the things he did, you don’t think he likes me or has any interest like that?
This is the most I’ve probably spoken to anyone about this so I just want your full opinion because I feel like it would help me accept a few things.
You know what I think? I think he knew you were following him on social media and wondered why you wouldn't talk to him in real life.
That "dirty look" he gave you could've been a look of confusion.
Like, "What is with this girl?"
I think he might be like you. At the very least he's intrigued.
That doesn't mean he'll approach you though. Unfortunately guys only approach about 5% of the women they find attractive. For a number if reasons.
Essentially, I think you have a chance at the very least
*Like you*
Not "be like you"
Interesting! Never thought about that. Maybe. I’m hoping I’ll find out one day and if I do, I guess I’ll come back on here and let you know. If not, well, nothing 😂.
Thanks for the discussion, you’re a real one.
Of course! And that'd be great. I'd love to hear how it turns out. I'm sure I'll still be on this silly app lol. Its addicting.
Good luck!