My boyfriend is always half joking I find him boring. I've tried to reassure him many many times, but he still seems worried.
Why is my boyfriend worried I find him boring?
What is your opinion?
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Anonymous(18-24)1 yIt's possible that your boyfriend's insecurity about being boring may stem from his own personal insecurities or past experiences. He may be afraid of not being interesting or engaging enough for you, which can make him feel vulnerable and worried.
It's important to continue reassuring him and communicating openly about your feelings and your relationship. You can tell him specific things you enjoy and appreciate about him, and encourage him to share his own interests and passions with you. This can help him feel more confident and secure in the relationship.
It's also important to remember that everyone has different interests and personalities, and being "boring" is subjective. What one person finds exciting or interesting may not be the same for another person. It's okay to have different interests and to have moments of silence or calmness in a relationship.
Encourage your boyfriend to be himself and pursue his own interests, and show him that you appreciate and respect him for who he is. With time and continued communication, he may become more comfortable and confident in the relationship.16 Reply- Asker1 y
That's all very true. We usually just kind of hangout but we are both low key kind of people. I'll try to be more vocal about the activities we do. Thank you đ
Opinion Owner1 yYou're welcome! It's great that you're willing to make an effort to be more vocal about the activities you do together. Remember to also encourage him to share his own interests and hobbies with you, so that you can both explore new things and find common ground. Good luck!
- Asker1 y
He's pretty good about telling me his interests, but I do have trouble listening sometimes (I'm very ADHD). So it may help for me to put more effort into actively listening. Thank you đ
- Opinion Owner1 y
You're welcome! Active listening is an important part of any relationship, and it can help you better understand your partner's interests and needs. If you struggle with ADHD, it may be helpful to develop strategies that can help you stay focused and engaged during conversations, such as taking notes, repeating key points back to your partner, or setting aside specific times for focused conversations.
It's also important to be honest with your partner about your struggles with ADHD, and to work together to find ways to manage these challenges in a way that works for both of you. By being open and communicative, you can build a stronger and more supportive relationship. - Asker1 y
He's also ADHD, I have a better handle on it than he does ironically. But I do need to be better about managing it.
- Opinion Owner1 y
If your boyfriend has ADHD, it's possible that his fear of being boring could also be related to his ADHD symptoms. People with ADHD often struggle with boredom and may feel restless or seek out stimulation to alleviate it. They may also have difficulty focusing on tasks that they find uninteresting or unengaging.
As someone who has a better handle on managing his ADHD than he does, you may be able to help him find ways to stay engaged and interested in activities that he finds boring. This could involve breaking tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps, setting clear goals and deadlines, and using visual or other sensory aids to help him stay focused.
It's important to remember that ADHD is a neurological condition that affects people in different ways, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to managing it. It's important to work together with your boyfriend to find strategies that work for him and to be patient and supportive as he navigates his ADHD symptoms.
If your boyfriend is interested, he may also benefit from seeking professional support from a therapist or coach who specializes in ADHD. They can provide tailored strategies and support to help him manage his symptoms and feel more confident and engaged in his daily life.
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1.2K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Cause he doesnât want to lose you , he is letting you know he wants to be closer to you , so he might be feeling a little distance from you , maybe your sex life died down and he doesnât feel you want him like you use to , My advice is to rock his world , dress up on sexy lingerie and surprise him and dominate him
014 Reply- Asker1 y
He is extremely concerned about me wandering off as he puts it. He keeps telling me I can sleep with other guys if I wanted to (would just have to let him know) BUT I know deep down he wouldn't like that. I know that would bother him and he would get jealous. I just can't understand why I make him feel so insecure
- 1 y
Do you not prioritize him? Do you pick your friends over him? Even though you might not feel you are being distant , your boyfriend might see other wise , When a girl or guy starts taking more space away from their partner , and not spending as much time with them like before , they start to feel their partner is losing interest in them , that they are no longer that excited to see them , Not saying you have to hold your partnerâs hand at all times , but itâs best to make your partner feel included instead of excluded , Even though you feel that you arenât excluding your partner , you actually might be without realizing it , by not including your partner when you are making plans with your friends can cause question of concern that you arenât even thinking of your partner you are just thinking what is best for you , itâs important that you include your partner when making decisions and plans when it comes to friends and family donât just assume everything is fine , when it comes to making decisions instead of just assuming oh everything is fine Always wear your partnerâs shoes before making decisions , think how you would feel if the tables were reversed , When you start doing that for your partner , your partner will feel more at ease and respected that you value him and he more than likely he will do the same for you , Selfishness is the biggest relationship killer , everyone of us has selfishness in us , when you learn to remove that inner selfishness for your partner thatâs where Love grows ,
- Asker1 y
I don't think I'm being selfish. I asked him very recently if there was anything that he felt that he needed for me that I wasn't giving him. He said that he was fine and that I have been making him happy and there's nothing that he needs from me. I always make sure to say thank you when he pays for dates and I tried my very best to make everything as even as possible. He actually is the one making decisions without me. He decided to buy a house without even telling me. He thought I wouldn't be interested. Although he does seem bothered by if we don't hang out on a particular weekend and I make alternate plans with my friends.
- 1 y
Then there is your answer, if you want your relationship to be better and your boyfriend to be more at ease , you are going to have to distance yourself from your friends and spend more time with your boyfriend , I am not saying end your friendships but take a break from the friends and spend more quality time with your partner , if your friends are really
Your friends , they will understand , the friends that get mad and upset and think you are crazy , they are the friends you need to eliminate out of your life they are toxic friends Good friends support your relationship toxic friends try to get on between it and try to pull you away from your partner , those are the friends you need to kick to the curb if you want your relationship to survive - 1 y
Itâs good to have friends but only friends that support your relationship, the ones that try to pull you away from your relationship arenât good friends , they are the influencer toxic friends , That donât value your relationship and try to get you to do things that they know would effect your relationship, Kick those friends to the curb
- Asker1 y
No one dislikes him. Plus I only make plans with them when he and I don't have plans. He gets first pick đ
- 1 y
Then I honestly donât know what his problem is , it sounds like he has a great girl that values him so someone needs to smack him upside The head and give him a wake up call , and get over his insecurity or whatever the reason he is making those comments. He keeps it up he will eventually lose you
- Asker1 y
I agree with that. I know he's got some relationship trauma. I'm the first serious one he's had in a long time. He's a bit out of his element his words not mine
- Asker1 y
His last serious relationship ended because she cheated đ and got pregnant as a result
- 1 y
Wow , being cheated on is bad enough but , her getting pregnant by cheating is even worse, I couldnt imagine , I can see why your Boyfriend has issues , Most people donât realize how bad cheating can effect someone , especially when you give someone your heart and they turn around and back stab you , I had it happen to me a few times from Girlâs that It sadly changed my whole outlook on relationships , and sadly itâs harder for me to trust someone after going through that , compared to how I use to be before I was cheated on , before I was cheated on , It didnât even cross my mind that a girl would even consider cheating , it wasnât something I was really concerned with or really think about until it smacks ya right in the face , I donât commit to be single , I commit hoping she is in it for the long haul as well , but sadly most people are just plain out selfish and only really do what is best for them , they barely put themselves in their partnerâs shoes before making decisions , they just live for the moment and easily throw away an amazing relationship for 10 minutes of selfish fun to someone they is just looking to get laid , Sadly I been on both ends of the spectrum , I had slept with Girlsâs that were secretly married and lying to me that they were single , And I slept with girls that didnât lie about being single but lied about how their current relationship really was , So those experiences is part of the reason why I am the way I am today , finding a girl today that truly knows what it means to be in a relationship that truly knows what it means to remove selfishness for each other is very hard to come by these days , so I donât jump into any committed relationship with a girl until she can prove to me she is in it for the long haul and isnât a selfish person , If she wants to cheat on me, cheat on me but donât come back to me and look me in the eyes and tell me You love me knowing you are the biggest piece of shit on this planet
- Asker1 y
Yeah I understand that. My mom is a pathological cheater, so I've seen first hand the damage cheating causes. Also I was raised in a conservative household and even though I'm not religious a lot of those lessons from the bible stuck with me. Particularly the importance of maintaining integrity. So I've been gaining my boyfriends trust slowly, and I'm very patient with him. I know these things take time. He told me every relationship he has had, ended because the girl cheated on him or he was the other man. He also told me he knows our relationship is very different from the ones he had in the past. So I wonder if his insecurities come from the fact that I'm not a trash human being lol
- 1 y
Yes, more than likely thatâs where his insecurities are stemming from cuz the same shit happened to me , again itâs harder to trust someone , especially a girl that is actually good , some guys will assume she is too good to be true , that there is no way this girl is staying faithful and loyal to me , she must be hiding something up her sleeve that she isnât telling me, and pretty much become his own worst enemy , When my ex was being distant from me and stopped being intimate and affectionate with me and started prioritizing her friends over me my gut instincts sensed something was completely off , My insecurities rose through the roof that she must be up to no good , but I played my cool cuz I didnât have solid proof , so for
My own sanity I started playing investigator to find out she was cheating on me with a co worker , I was devastated and my heart shattered , when I busted her Red handed I immediately told her I wanted a divorce and that her shit will be on the lawn and I will see her in court , she was the love of my life , I thought her and I would be together until the end, Getting over her wasnât easy considering we have children together , but I focused on myself and my kids , and didnât want to date any girlsâ for a long time , but I met a girl that treated me like Gold and I felt she was sent from Heaven , so much better to me then my ex was , we had amazing chemistry and connections and the sex was out of this world amazing , things were going great for a few months with us until her husband showed up on my doorstep. So my luck with girlâs hasnât been the greatest so for
Me to honestly give my heart completely to a girl , she has to prove to me she isnât selfish and prove to me she isnât a cheater and knows what it means to be in a committed relationship, Sadly these days itâs hard to find
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One of my exes told me she was bored at my house all the time and since then i try to come up with dates/things to do. Maybe his past. Weird fear to randomly develop
04 Reply- Asker1 y
That makes sense. He has a lot of weird little fears. How can I help with this?
- Asker1 y
I do try to reassure him when I can, he just never seems to really believe me. I love him very much and try to always show appreciation. Especially since his biggest issue with dating is not feelings appreciated by his previous partners.
582 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Maybe he knows heâs not the most interesting and u will find someone more exciting
06 Reply- Asker1 y
That would be pretty funny considering he talked so much crap about one of my exes being boring đ but he is a cool, laid back guy which is exactly what I go for. I've told him how much I care about him
- Asker1 y
He can be, but he also has moments where he talks about how awesome he is and f*ck anyone who doesn't agree. So it always catches me off guard when he is insecure about something
- Asker1 y
Personally I don't think we are unevenly matched. He's a handsome man, but he clearly thinks I am too good for him. If he does something that upsets me, he immediately fixes the problem and if he can't immediately fix it, he obsessively thinks about it. He's said that he's terrified I'd leave him but never said why other than it would really hurt
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