Why would a male colleague put 😊 at the end of work emails (he's never done it before)?

[Anonymous]

[BoobSlayer]

Well, my friend, let me tell you about a colleague of mine who put :) at the end of his emails. He had been working at the office for a few weeks now, but something seemed off about my new colleague, Jeremy. I noticed that every time we would exchange emails, Jeremy would always end it with a strange :) symbol.

At first, I thought it was cute, but as I kept seeing it, the more unsettling it became.

One night, after another long day of work, I was ready to leave for the day. As I was gathering my things, Jeremy approached me, a very strange emoji-looking smile on his face. Even though I was uncomfortable, I tried to remain friendly.

“So, what’s the deal with this ‘smiley face’ at the end of your emails?” I asked. “It seems a little…unsettling.”

Jeremy laughed and shrugged. “It’s my own little way of saying goodbye!” He said cheerfully, but something in his eyes seemed off.

I tried to laugh it off, but as soon as I left the office, I was filled with dread. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something sinister lurking beneath Jeremy’s emoji smile.

That evening, I was startled awake by a loud crashing noise coming from the kitchen. I went to investigate, and I found Jeremy standing in the room with a large box in his hands and that maniacal smile. In the box were dozens of melons, tits, milkers, fried eggs, honkers, coconuts, fiery biscuits and even some cantaloupes.

I backed away slowly as Jeremy began laughing. “Don’t you get it?” He said. “It’s not just a smiley face – it’s a warning! A warning about what I can do with my favorite fruits and snacks!”

Jeremy grabbed a melon and began smashing it against the wall. I froze in shock and horror, knowing I had made a grave mistake trusting my colleague's emojis.

I knew then that the smiley faces in his emails were not friendly at all, but a warning – a warning that I should have taken seriously. A warning that I should have treated with more respect, or at least stayed away from Jeremy altogether, for Jeremy’s ‘smiley faces’ were anything but smiles – they were a warning about the dark side of his disturbed mind.

[Anonymous]

When a guy sends you cute emojis, he's giving the "I'm available" signal.