The guy I’ve been casually seeing the last 6 months and I had a falling out. He wasn’t putting the effort I was looking for.
we had some discussions via text and then said we would talk in person. He asked to hang last sun but I had plans. Then I asked when his next days off were and he blew me off. I was already mad about the way he had been putting minimal effort. So I decided to give him short answers to fade it out.
He didn’t respond for 2 days and then sent me a message saying he thinks we need a break and that we’re both frustrated w our schedules and can check back in the future. Never heard of a break from a casual hookup!
I responded “I think this has just come to the end of the road. I want someone who puts equal effort in”. Then he never responded !
was my response rude? I was just trying to be straight with him. Just surprised and confused why he never responded. He’s usually very responsive so clearly mad?
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Sounds like you got your feelings too involved here. It’s an friends with benefits, what more do you want? I don’t understand what you mean by him putting in more effort? Explain please.
I think we had different definitions of casual. I wanted someone to actually do stuff with besides sex. His schedule was difficult as he worked nights but it felt like all he wanted to do was hang on my couch. We did go out a few times but I felt like I initiated. Tried to get him to sleep over a few times and he wasn’t interested. And then last straw for me was when we were both in the same beach town and I had mentioned a few times to get together but he blew it off. Just overall felt like he wasn’t interested in anything but sex whereas I saw him as a friend. (We texted everyday)
Sounds as though you want someone who is more like a boyfriend. He doesn’t want a girlfriend, just the sex benefits of it. Most people I think understand that arrangement as far as hooking up for sexual sex or an friends with benefits situation. I think you misunderstood the definition. If that’s what you’re looking for you most likely need to move on to someone else who wants the same.
Yea I guess the lines got crossed. We never really discussed. But also I don’t think casual sex partners usually talk everyday? It just felt like we were at least friends.
I see. I wouldn’t think so either. So I can see why you may feel like that. So a part of you just feels used?
Yes exactly. And I told him that over text and he said he wasn’t using me and that he likes doing other things with me etc. but I guess you’re not gonna admit if you’re using someone lol.
Most likely not. But he was probably under the impression that it was just a sexual thing. Course he could have just been taking you for granted, calling you up when it was convenient for him.
Yea felt like it. But guess doesn’t matter now anyways. Haven’t heard back from him. Sad ending but was bound to be over eventually.
Why did you agree to this anyway?
For a while it was fine. He’s someone I know I’ll never be in a relationship with so figured would be a fun casual thing. But I guess I just can’t do that without developing some feelings.
Nope. Usually a lot of women get hurt because they’re ok w it at first but then they start developing feelings. Most times a man won’t want something serious w a girl who’s anFWB.
Your response wasn't rude but his response (no answer) was, technically, what you asked for.