Yeah, I honestly, I just want to say upfront. I do not know you personally and I am sure you are great person, just trying to do what you are saying here... work on yourself.
Now yeah, you might not be in a good place to be trying to date right now. I would seriously step away from dating and take some time to really focus on you for a while.
Texting is honestly the hardest part about dating these days. Like its super hard to find that perfect balance of texting just enough instead of too little or too much... and every woman is different.
So, any drama over text is a huge turn off. Once a woman goes there in text, RED FALGS start popping up. Thats the bottom line. And once a guy starts to get that feeling, and she is not saying or doing anything to make it easier... yes, they start to withdraw. The guy starts to do that math in his head is this woman worth maintaining contact with just for the hopes of sex, or is time to break contact and move on?
So honestly, to me as a guy that has done a lot of online dating... once you send a text like that to me... I am thinking this woman is not really offering me more. Like she is not in place mentally that she is ready to really be in an emotionally mature and intelligent relationship... and yes... you start to think is it even worth trying to pursue for sex or should I just end it now.
Now I didn't use to think that all... honestly, I did not. But like I said, I have dated a lot online, and I met a lot of women... and honestly, I have spent a lot of time on myself, and this where I land on this subject. I am more willing to pursue a woman these days just for sex, then I would have been just two years ago. And that comes as a result of the dating process and screwed up stuff that comes with dating.
So, to me, this guy is only hanging in the text trying to figure out if your worth the effect to just get laid. Because emotionally, you're not in the right place to offer more.
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Honestly, yes you sound crazy. Like crazy that you need some help. If you knew this was going to happen then why is it bothering you so much? Even before that if you knew that would happen why did you even sleep w him?
Just a bit of advice, when you make your executive decisions to give it up, go into that situation making peace with the fact that he very well may ghost afterwards. Ask yourself if you can be ok with that, and if so then go on, but judging by your reaction, my guess is that the answer would be no.
You’re dealing with a lot of trauma from the past that I think you should heal before trying to be in a relationship or date a guy. Otherwise you will always wind up back in this position where you have a horrible insecurity of being ditched. It’s made even worse by the fact that it’s happened before. So instead of trying to double back on what you sent, don’t lie, just own it and look at the action in itself instead. Wanting to be loved by a man should never take priority over loving yourself and making sure you are good first and foremost.
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You can't take it back unfortunately. That is a bit crazy to think he was ghosting you because he was busy the next day. I think people forget that early on in the relationship no one wants to be viewed as pushy or clingy so lots don't text right away on purpose. I get you had bad experiences in the past but you cannot paint all guys the same because of it. Just breath and cool down. Hopefully he isn't put off by the text.
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You make it sound like you need professional help.
Yes, you are crazy.
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