Why did he think I was lying?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 24 year old female. I have a close guy friend who's also 24. I was supposed to hang out with him earlier this week but I cancelled due to having a miscarriage. I told him I was going to stay at home until I was better.

He was nice to me at first but, two days later I posted on snapchat and I was with my female best friend of 14 years and my family at our campground. He saw this snapchat and it caused him to think I lied about the miscarriage to avoid him. I tried to explain it to him I didn't mind them seeing the bleeding but I was uncomfortable with him seeing it because he was my guy friend. I couldn't convince him even after I made it visibly clear how hurt I was. I finally sent him pictures of my ultrasounds and he finally let it go after that but I don't get it. Why did he think I was lying? We've been friends for 6 years.

[caring__1]

Insecure people often are impulsive and quick to judgment based on assumptions. Unfortunately, he was projecting his insecurities on you. Guessing the reason he thought you were lying would be doing the same as he did... make decisions based on assumptions.

Just send him a message letting him know you're sorry he wasn't able to trust you, but you still see him as a friend and hope the two of you can get over this hump in the road. Let him know you'll let him know when the bleeding stops and you'll be comfortable socializing with people other than family and best friends.

[Asker]

He himself was someone I considered one of my close friends. He wasn't my very best friend but he was still a close friend.

[caring__1]

Unfortunately, people determine their own sense of entitlement, and you didn't measure up to what he felt entitled to. Maybe he'll broaden his perspective and be considerate of you, or maybe he'll just move on. We can't control other people. Just accept him as he chooses to be. You did nothing wrong. Only time will tell if he returns to be part of your life.

[Asker]

I asked him why he thought he was entitled to hang out with me. He told me that he wasn't mad about me not wanting to hang out. He said he was mad because he thought I was lying about it.

He said he's fine with me not wanting to be friends or hanging out any time whatsoever just don't lie about it. Because it's the lying that makes him mad.

[caring__1]

Be cautious around people who treat their assumptions as factual. You'll always be second-guessing how they'll interpret everything you say or do. He assumed you lied, and that is his reality. He doesn't show any interest in learning the truth.

[ohshee]

Most people that can accept the truth I think it's a lie is because they lie so since they like everybody else does and that's why they're just so wrong. It almost gets comical sometimes because somebody will ask you something can you tell me the truth and they get this look on their face like yours full of shit and all I can do is smile it got to giggle they know that's the truth and they won't accept it and since they won't accept it they start treating you different because in their eyes you're lying to them like I said it's funny sometimes I look at it like this the truth always comes out no matter what so doesn't leave me just go ask somebody else they will tell them the truth and then they believe that that were neither

[TommyMountainFigure]

Firstly and foremost, I am very sorry for your loss.

His mistrust of you is quite frankly unacceptable for a friend of 6 years to behave. This is a terrible time for you, a time where you need support from your friends, and for him to call you a liar? It's just not on.

As far as I'm concerned he has made this all about HIM, and he is no friend to you. You deserve far better,

[Gray-Wisp]

You were socializing with other people after you said that you didn't want to socialize with him. Plus, 9/10 women lie almost compulsively even to their friends. I may know that you're telling the truth because you have no reason to lie to me. However, he certainly doesn't and if I were him I'd think the exact same thing.

[Avicenna]

He probably thought that because he's heard that people sometimes do lie like that.

[spartan55]

Why would anyone be seeing any of your bleeding?

[Gray-Wisp]

Women can bleed, potentially a lot, a short while after giving birth.

[spartan55]

Yeah, I understand that. I've experienced childbirth with my ex. A miscarriage isn't giving birth though. And again, it's not like she would be bleeding all over the place. If that were the case, shouldn't she be in the hospital?

[Gray-Wisp]

I thought it'd be similar.

[spartan55]

Not at all. My ex had a miscarriage and it was really not a big deal. Now childbirth, was a LOT of blood.

[Iron_Man]

He’s just a friend who cares

[TheBigGuy9]

Drop him