Why does a guy from work repeatedly text and call and ask me out?

[Anonymous]

I’ve dated him because he doesn’t stop asking. The first time I said yes I felt guilty because I and ghosted him or cancelled plans via text before hoping he’d get the hint. boy was I wrong. Not only does he not get any hints but he continues to violate boundaries I’ve set. For example this last one was that I texted him to please do not contact me again. Weeks later I see him at work and he comes out nowhere to approach me and try to start a conversation unnecessarily.

frankly I don’t understand behavior. I barely even feel comfortable asking people for help unless it’s the last resort even for small things at work let alone repeatedly trying to ask someone out over and over even after they said no, ghosted, told me to stop contacting them etc.

I know people will rush to judge me and call me names like weak or whatnot. But please refrain from coming to judge me. I’m asking why he is like this.

[DollAlone]

You can't obviously leave him HINTS. he needs to be told straight up and to the point. His behavior is most likely caused from your behavior. Like giving him your number then ghosting him. So at one point you DID give him your number and thats a good sign in his book. And a green light to ask you out. Then you cancel plans which SHOULD be a heads up to him. Maybe he is behaving as if it never happened to "save face" and not be embarrassed so he feels if he acts like it never happened then he still has a chance or at the very least he can still look you in theyl eye at work without an awkward feeling or uncomfortable silence. If it gets bad or he keeps making unwanted commemts or requests to you then warn him that if he continues, your're going to a manger or boss and reporting him since that IS a form of sexual harassment. So jt all boils down to how badly he is making you feel at your job. And what you want to do about it. As far as his behavior and to why he is doing it? Thats a question for HIS therapist

[_Maya_]

I wouldn't judge you as weak or anything like that. You are not anything. If anyone judges you for some asshole harassing you then they aren't being honest about your situation. He is creating a problem at work. I am never for people that want to date coworkers. It can create way too many problems. Look at your situation. You aren't even dating this guy and it is creating problems. You need to go to your supervisor and explain that you can't even communicate with this guy because of what he has done. Most good managers or supervisors are going to recognize that this is a massive problem and put a stop to it.

[ShadowYamihiro]

Go to his boss and accuse him of harassing you. If that doesn't work report to the police, that is why they exist, sure you may be risking your job and doesn't mean you will get fired, perhaps your boss is one of the good ones. Letting it be the way it is might escalate into something worse when you perhaps end up alone with him if you know what i mean.1st thing to do is yell loudly at work when he start with his game. Just yell i told you to stop bothering me so other coworkers can his and you have witnesses. if he doesn't stop after that and try to hit on you next time, go directly to his or yours boss and tell him w hat is happening, now since your coworkers heard you and your boss ask around you will have witnesses and the situation is already in your favor, if your boss doesn't do anything then you must do what must be done before it becomes too late and apply for restraining order, F you job if its not a safe environment for you. You deserve better

[Finchie40]

Because he has the hots for you and wants to have sex with you , and thinks he has a chance at getting you in bed , Some people have a hard time accepting No as an answer , they feel they can get someone to change their mind , because they think their shit doesn’t stink and act like they were put on Earth as a prize possession , so that’s the reason he keeps calling and texting you , it’s cuz he is attracted to you. A guy isn’t going to invest a lot of time into a girl he clearly doesn’t want , so you are best to tell him you are seeing someone to get him to back off , or he will keep attempting to get into your pants

[FancyPantz]

Too thick to get the message or trying to wear you down. Set boundaries, say no.

It can be hard when you do not like confrontation and do not want to hurt someone's feelings, but, you have to decide what's important here. If interacting with him makes you uncomfortable, then stand up for yourself.

It doesn't have to be loud or confrontational or "girl bossing" it nor involve humiliating him. It starts with repeatedly reasserting boundaries. When you say no, stick to it.

[ProbablyClueless]

He keeps contacting you because you've given in before. He probably figures that if he keeps persisting, you'll give him the green light again.

If you want the contact to stop, you should probably speak to HR about it.

[ProbablyClueless]

@Prettybiychh He thinks that if he persists long enough, you will give him those things.

[ProbablyClueless]

@Prettybiychh It might not even be something he thinks as unusual or something that requires much effort from him. Guys like that tend to a few different women they're trying to wooh

[ShesRad80]

tell him you are not interested and yet again not to contact you, also block him wherever possible, phone, social etc

[strateguy632]

if it was work related he had a good excuse.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t know why he’s like this why don’t you ask him

[Anonymous]

He is obviously too thick to get the message.

[Anonymous]

he's a manipulator, he made you feel guilty.


you deserve it though because you ghosted him

[Avicenna]

Probably doesn't have another option right now

[In_Trance]

Why did you give him your number?