New relationship, seems to be going well at the moment not too much pressure but I’m a little nervous. Guy I’m seeing says he has a female friend in another state who he wants to see a few times a year and is very close to. He says he had feelings for her many years ago and whatever happens between us that will never change.. should I be concerned?
Personally, I don't ever think there is room for a third person in a romantic/love relationship.
Ever here the song "Just the two of us"?
It just never seems to work out when there are three. It's hard enough trying to keep a relationship period and by adding all of their feelings for each other in to your relationship is too much to ask of you. Are you just supposed to just sit there and let them do their thing and you should be ok with that? No! I'm sorry. I don't know what girl would say yes to being his girlfriend without it blowing up one day when she can't take him giving her sugar and what does she get? Nothing.
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It's up to you whether you feel you can trust them or not but personally I think I'd cut them some slack if they've been friends for years and nothing ever happened maybe they just get along well. I guess what complicates things is that he admitted to having romantic feelings for her but if this was something he was honest with you about then I wouldn't count that as a knock against him I'd appreciate that he put himself on the backfoot to inform me when he didn't have to. Maybe I'm not the right person to ask though I tend to be too trusting and give others the benefit of the doubt.
He hasn’t learned the lessons to move forward yet.
It means ⚠️
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It sounds like you are hesitant and maybe don't trust him with this other girl. That is going to be the main issue. If you feel that you can trust him and he hasn't given you a reason not to trust then it should be fine. It also depends on what kind of feelings he had. By the way he said those feelings will never change worry me a bit. That is indicating to me they were pretty strong feelings. If you have even a shred of doubt then move on.
That “for now” can certainly make a person doubt. Like sometimes i find myself saying “my current dude” instead of “my dude”. Which makes it sound like im gonna drop him at some point. So i understand the paranoia. I personally dont tryst opposite sex friendships if they used to be into one another. If it was strictly more brotherly-sisterly than i wouldn't worry
He has been burned before and is cautious. Relationships are often awkward and messy. Getting two separate lives to end up on the same page is very complicated. We all bring our entire past into relationships. If he had a female friend it does not mean that he will be having a relationship with her. Be positive and see what happens is about all you can do ,
i'm sorry but i hate those type of signals. I don't think you should trust him that much on this, especially for how you wrote it up it really looks like he is trying to keep both of you...
Concerned about what? He has honestly told you about her. You can either accept him, and her, or not. Your choice.
If he’s being that open about it that shows courage and determination and also honesty so I would say you don’t need to worry about that !!
Lmao big red flag. He 100% wants the friend and will cheat on you with her or dump you the second she shows interest in him
Do you want to be someone's second choice for the rest of your life?
Maybe, but some people remain friends after a break up. Not every relationship is cut and dried
It means he should have stopped before "for now."
Its like he is holding low expectations, because of you or past relation. Few times a year... huh.
well she's in another state he can't exactly leave for her? might be fine
If u don't trust him sure
Sounds like your in an open relationship.
Seems he like the relationship it’s going good.
Let them do their thing
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