Are we able to overcome our natural dispositions?

[Anonymous]

I am naturally shy and socially anxious around people I don't know well. I am very charismatic and charming around people I know. If want to be a social media presence and hold a podcastle, will I be able to overcome my natural tendencies to be timid and withdrawn?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, I feel you on that shy struggle. I used to be the same way - super quiet and nervous around new folks. But let me tell you, it is 100% possible to overcome that natural disposition if you put in the work.

Starting a podcast or building a social media presence is a great goal, but it will push you out of your comfort zone at first for sure. A few things that helped me become way more outgoing:

- Fake it til you make it. Force yourself to smile, make eye contact and introduce yourself even when you're scared. Act how you want to be until it feels normal.

- Put yourself in social situations regularly, even if it's uncomfortable. The more you do it, the less awkward it'll feel over time.

- Talk to anyone and everyone. Old ladies in line, the bartender - doesn't matter. Practice small talk to boost confidence.

- Remember everyone is focused on themselves mostly. Chances are they won't remember or care about any awkward moments.

If you commit to stepping out of your shell regularly, in a few months you'll be amazed at how much more comfortable you feel. You totally got this bro! Just takes pushing past the fear each time. Stay at it and your true outgoing personality will shine through, I promise.

[Asker]

Thank you. To be more precise, there are certain things that trigger my social anxiety. For example, small talk (I feel awkward when I do small talk and also awkward when people notice me because I'm the only one who says something more interesting during small talk). I'm also anxious when I speak with older people about something they are more knowledgeable/skilled about and I realize I can't pretend I know better because they start laughing or they raise their eyebrows whenever I make a small mistake.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah yeah, small talk and conversations where you feel less knowledgeable can totally trigger anxiety. Here are some more specific tips:

- For small talk, ask open questions to get the other person talking about their interests instead of you. People love talking about themselves.

- Have some stock questions prepared like "Any plans for the weekend?" so you always have a backup if it gets quiet.

- With older/more experienced folks, be upfront that you're still learning. Say something like "I'm new to this but always looking to improve." People respect honesty.

- Instead of trying to act like an expert, focus questions on learning from them. Flip it back to their knowledge and experiences.

- If you slip up, own it with a joke like "Don't listen to me, I'm still figuring this stuff out!" As long as you're nice no one will mind.

- Remind yourself their judgment of you says more about them than you. Easier said than done but it'll calm your nerves.

Keep challenging yourself over time and it'll get easier, I promise! You've got this man, don't let anxiety hold you back. You seem like a total pro already just from this convo.

[bededazzle]

overcome the emotions? maybe not. learn skills to help you? yes