Why did he not take any sides when me and his friends were arguing?

[Anonymous]

I was watching a live earlier today, and it’s this guy I know of on social media. He’s not famous or anything, just a guy who lives on the other side of the country with a few thousand followers who goes live sometimes. His lives don’t get many views so it’s quite small amount of people most of the time.

He brings his friends on and these ones were from other parts of the country, I don’t know if they’ve ever met in person. Anyway, I joined it (as in started watching and commenting on the live) and as soon as I did one of the friends was like “Nah f*ck that b*tch” because he didn’t like my name and asked him what sort of followers he had. His friends are normally quite “edgy” but this was crossing a line to me, he was cursing at me for literally no reason. Normally his friends are funny but decent guys. I never cursed at him but I matched his energy and gave it back. The main guy who I follow was playing along with them (but not being serious or swearing at me) until I mentioned I’m not talking to him, just the other two who are rude.

After that he never commented on anything I said and stayed well out of it although I know he was reading everything and can obviously hear them responding to me and knows what’s going on. Mid way through he left to get something from the shop and paused the live while the other two were on there, around this time they stopped acknowledging me and things were a bit more peaceful. I’m not sure if he texted them to stop but they did leave me alone. It seemed as if he was a little stressed out and unsure of how to handle the situation because most followers did not like these two guys and advised him to find better friends.

He practically stayed silent and well out of it throughout the live, not saying anything to me (because I was still roasting them back). At the end he told everyone they aren’t bad guys and to give them a follow. I just wanted to ask why he stayed out of it and didn’t have a go at me for being rude to his friends?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, it's a tricky spot to be in when your friends are arguing with someone online like that. A few things could be up:

- He wasn't tryna escalate things further by taking sides. Dudes just trying to keep the peace and not add more fuel to the fire.

- Maybe privately he agreed his boys were outta line but didn't wanna call them out publicly and embarrass them in front of viewers. Save face type thing.

- Or could be he wasn't 100% sure what started it, so didn't wanna stick his neck out accusing someone without the full story.

- He knows he depends on viewers/followers too, so backing up rude ass friends ain't a good look if people already didn't rock with them.

- Might not wanna completely ditch the boys but also didn't wanna co-sign their disrespect. Stayed neutral to keep options open.

I feel him just tryna diffuse it without making enemies, ya feel? Hard position when your clique acts up like that, gotta play it chill. Think you're good for givin it back tho, don't take shit lol.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer. I don’t know, he had a few micro-expressions that told me he was stressed or uncomfortable but one of those a-hole friends did mention going on the live the next day and he was like “No I’m not going live tomorrow” while shaking his head. He hasn’t been online since tbh, but that’s not an abnormal amount of time …so far. I don’t know, I hope he does set them straight.

In the beginning when I started arguing back and they were still being rude to me he was trying to change the topic a few times (I guess whatever came to his mind) and was like “What would you do if your man doesn’t fight for you?” To the chat to answer that question. I guess this situation made him come up him with it since he was being pretty useless and maybe he felt it? Maybe not. But at least he left me alone and let me stand up for myself without having a go at me for it.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, that shaking his head thing when his boy mentioned going live again is definitely a sign he wasn't feeling that idea. And trying to change the subject shows he was uncomfortable with the back and forth.

For sure sounds like he wanted to stay out of directly taking sides, but was also over his friends coming at you sideways. Putting him on the spot like that during his own live probably irritated him with them.

Him letting you stand up for yourself without jumping in is smart - takes the target off his back too if he's not publicly against either side. But for sure seems clear through his body language he wasn't rocking with how they came at you outta nowhere.

I'd be willing to bet when everything calmed down he checked them about disrespecting people in his live like that. Seems like he's gonna be more careful who he brings around if he goes live again too. Good on you for holding your own too!

[Asker]

Yeah he was just on a live now. One of the guys, the worst one in my opinion was on live again today, but I didn’t acknowledge him and he didn’t acknowledge me so there’s that. Ngl it felt like a slap in the face to see him back on after his behaviour but who am I to get annoyed when he’s just a normal guy, not some public figure.

Anyway, I hope there’s no more awkward moments after this, that’s all. Thanks so much for your input

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, I feel you. Seeing that dude back on the live after talking all that mess must've stung a little. But nah don't be too hurt - just cause he's not famous don't make his behavior aight.

Sounds like you handled it cool though by keeping it pushin' and not responding to him. Smartest play to avoid more drama. Kinda lame the host let him back on after, but I get it - dropping homies is a hassle.

Maybe chat up the host alone sometime and just be like "hey respect for keeping it peaceful last time but your boy crossed a line, feel me? Just keep an eye on that situation." Who knows, could be he needs to hear it straight without the squad there clouding his vision.

Either way, you stood up for yourself without stooping low, and that's what matters. Keep your head up luv, don't let clowns like that rent space in your mind, okay? Better vibes coming your way, I can feel it.

[Asker]

Thank you! You’re so sweet and encouraging. Yeah I am pretty much over it now anyway and thanks for reminding me this guy literally doesn’t deserve to be living rent free in my mind in the first place.

[Oliverlogan263]

For sure luv, my pleasure and no worries! I'm just saying how I see it. It's all good that you're over it now, not worth stressing over some random dude online. And you're totally right, he doesn't deserve any space in your head at all after acting up like that. Just focus on the positive vibes and do your own thing. Hopefully your boy's streams get back to being chill without all the extra mess sometime. But either way, you seem like a cool girl - don't let some clowns bring you down! Keep doing you and staying positive.