Why did arguing with him turn me on?

[Anonymous]

I just met this guy and we really hit off, then like only a short while later we had a bit of a disagreement over something and had a bitter argument through texting. I never argued like that before with anyone because I'm a bit of a pushover and was really surprised at myself for doing that. He sent me a text apoligising, and we went back to normal talking. The thing is, after that argument it made me like and want him MORE?

I don't know why I felt that way? I liked that he made me feel really angry like that for some reason? Has anyone felt like this before?

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

Key: We really hit it off

Usually arguing with someone you just met doesn't INCREASE attraction, it reduces it. For instance if I walk into a bar and start a verbal fight with some chick, the chances of me taking her home is slim to none.

However, when you like the other person and there was some flirting beforehand, you can then put "arguing" in the same REALM as 1. Being a Challenge 2. Not being too agreeable 3. Teasing or people the other person's legs 4. Showing assertiveness and that you are willing to stand up for your own opinions, of course this goes hand in hand with also NOT being aggressive or being strongly opinionated to the point of vanity to prove the other person wrong just reduces attraction. Assuming the way he was arguing with you wasn't too aggressive we can say that, when a guy does the exact opposite for instance, being too nice, not being a challenge, agreeing with all your viewpoints without offering anything additional, and taking all your teasing with a pinch of salt without teasing back, aka not being able to roll with the punches then ATTRACTION IS GREATLY REDUCED, heck, you answered your own question by saying he wasn't being a "pushover" and it also helps you were attracted to him to begin with.

Example

just the other day I was at the bar and noticed the bartender was being flirted with by a 45 year old. The way they were talking, they obviously knew each other. He was being annoying, butting in on conversations that she was having with other customers until she started BUSTING HIS BALLS HEAVILY. Instead of teasing back, he just "fake laughed" and fidgeted nervously. She was bordering on kind of MEAN, but the way she was talking she was also trying to be FUNNY. But you could still feel the awkwardness, even as an observer.

-"Can you hold ON? I can't be RUDE to my other CUSTOMERS"

-"You should know where that street is, you SEEM LIKE YOU FOLLOW me home everyday right?"

-"Why does every conversation you have you have to relate it to me?"

-"Shush, just be quiet now"

THESE ARE THE THINGS SHE WAS SAYING TO HIM, AND THEN SHE IGNORED HIM THE REST OF THE TIME, EVEN WHEN HE TALKED TO HER.

She was obviously on her high horse and parading around, she was HOT, she knew it and she was busting everyone's balls. She was intimidating me. Then she came to me when I sat down this is what she said

-"You don't smile, no smile for me today?" This is what I said "TELL ME A JOKE AND MAKE ME SMILE" and then she told me she was HORRIBLE AT TELLING JOKES..MEH

-When I asked her how much my beer was she said (Sidenote: Beer was 2 bucks)

-"$12 dollars please" and then I told her THEN GET ME SIX

She decided to retort back YOU DIDN'T SMILE WHEN YOU CAME IN, SO THAT WILL BE 12 DOLLARS to which I said IF I GIVE YOU 12, I WON'T HAVE ANY MONEY TO GIVE YOU TIPS and she couldn't respond to that one.

The rest of the time I she eye f***ed the sh*t out of me and even gave me a shot on the house, and I was giving her sh*t right back

[mikeb79]

Sounds like this argument shot up your interest in him. Did it make you think that maybe he really likes you? I mean, he's willing to reveal intense emotion...

If you have reason to think that he's possibly very into you, that uncertainty could make your attraction shoot up.

Also, the argument gave you an opportunity to invest emotionally in a way you haven't before.

[Anonymous]

Yeah...I'm like that too. I'm turned on by arguing and physical fights make me love my fiancé more...idk. I guess because it's like a sign...That the relationship is strong enough to endure it. "...Know that no matter how many knives we put in each others' backs That we'll have each others' backs, 'cause we're that lucky."

[jayb0493]

I'm like that, if I get into a fight with a guy I get turned on...even more so if I'm interested in the guy. I don't know what it is, but somehow I get super turned on whenever there's tension...I don't know, I guess I just think guys are super sexy when we get into a fight and they say what they want..

[Mande1985]

Maybe you are really Dominant and seeing it come out, instead of being a pushover, turned you on. Try being more assertive with him and see if it turns you on.

[NothingGoldCanStay]

You like a man who is not kissing your ass, you want a guy who is a man and tells you off and doesn't take your sh*t. You are simply attracted to men who are not push overs.

[WeaponZero]

I have to ask.. why is it that just because someone isn't an argumentative person that they're a pushover? Pretty sure there's a middle ground there and that's more the ideal than being one extreme or the other. In general, extremes are never good.

[toulouse]

Yes Zero ;)

you can ABSOLUTELY not throw tantrums without being a pushover. yes there s a middle ground.. its called being rational. yelling & saying nothing are the opposite ends of the same coin. being controlled by how you feel. you are either afraid to speak or afraid not to- so you compensate by turning psycho.

middle ground. reason volition agency ;)

[NothingGoldCanStay]

I agree but extremes do turn on the sex dial up on women, it is not about the rationality but actually the primal nature of men when they are agresive that attract women. Don't get me wrong there is a massive diffrence between some verbal arguing and the physical sh*t which is really crossing the line but crazy as it seems women are turned on by the physical sh*t sometimes as well. Had a friend who was in love with a cop even though the bastard beat her a couple times, I wish I could explain it.

[NothingGoldCanStay]

She would constantly break up with him and look for a good guy then always cheat on the good guy and f*** him. I used to get so f***ing mad because she was really one of my best friends and it killed me how stupid she was being but every time I asked her why she just said the sex is simply too amazing, and deep down I know he cares. It must be some primal thing which makes women attracted to these men, although I would never raise a fist, I never let her be in charge of me like some men.

[TwistedLogic]

Yeah, my girlfriend gets turned on by that, too. I'm not the argumentative type and she is always complaining about it. I have also known some other females who liked that, claiming that men look sexy when they are mad. ~.~

[scfranci]

I don't think it's that guys look sexy when they're mad. There was this one guy who I kinda had a fling with that would get angry easily. He did kinda look like a little boy until I'd try to confort him. lol. he sometimes looked cute though, but I was attracted to him so I wouldn't been attracted to most of the things he did.

[Apodyopsis]

Why do you think there's something called make up sex?

It's totally worth fighting for.

Not to mention when a guy's angry, he's f***ing HOT.

[WeaponZero]

When a guy is angry, he's hot? That's scary. Because angry = dangerous. Angry can lead to abusive. How is that hot?

[Apodyopsis]

Not to that extent, maybe more like frustrated.

[moloz]

We can f*** very hard when mad. Just try and slap us during sex, you'll get so roughed up you wouldn't be able to walk straight for couple of days. :)

[WeaponZero]

Slap during sex? WTF. That's messed up.

[moloz]

Well, she said it was hot for us to get mad. I gave her a suggestion!

[Apodyopsis]

*_*

[martyfellow]

Someone you really feel close to can raise your emotions easily, both positively and negatively. Nothing surprising about that. But that's a reason to be careful about getting close to them too quickly.

[maryjane14]

You liked it because whether you know it or not, he wouldn't bother arguing if he wasn't really into you.

[WeaponZero]

Pretty sure I've argued with tons of people I wasn't into. lol.

[JustDance]

True weaponzero, but she does have a point now that I think of it...

[Anonymous]

yea I was recently in that situation before. I used to talk to this girl, me & her used to argue like everyday...what you're going through is a lover's tiff

[foreverloved14]

What's a lovers tiff?

[MalibuBeach]

Make up sex?