Do guys ever really like damsels in distress in real life?

[Anonymous]

I feel like so many depressed women out there. Not a single soul in their friends or family who cares.

Books and movies have lied to us. if there are so many depressed women out there why aren't there guys who save them the way they do in books and movies.

[MrOracle]

Asker,

Those books and movies that "lied to you" - the ones that showed a way of life that you crave - did lie to you, but not the way you think. Rather, they depict ideas and philosophies that come from "traditional society", or what Feminists like to call "the Patriarchy." Under that system, men are expected to help women, sacrificing themselves if necessary, and when they do, they are respected and to some degree rewarded, as an incentive for the next man to do the same down the road.

But we both know why this system was destroyed, and who destroyed it: Feminists.

You don't realize it, but what you want is to enjoy all of the benefits of Feminism without any of the responsibilities of it. When you are "independent", you can make your own decisions and do what you want, BUT, the responsibility for your own protection and provision is YOURS and yours alone. Sure, you can call the police, but the police have no legal requirement to respond or help you, and in many areas of this country, there simply aren't enough of them to get to you in time to help even if they wanted to.

Feminists didn't want to be under a man's protection, because you can't be protected without giving up at least some of your autonomy. Even the President of the USA, the most powerful person on the planet, must sacrifice a lot of his autonomy to the Secret Service in order to be protected by them, and that's the very nature of protection. No one can protect you unless they can also have some level of control over what you do, where you go, and who you see. Ever watch the movie The Bodyguard with Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner? That's one of the lessons of the movie.

Feminists demanded FULL autonomy from men in all things, not willing to give up anything to a man, and shamed men, and in some cases even prosecuted men, for providing protection. And even women who don't claim to be feminists stood by, or even supported this, because they enjoyed their autonomy. The men who warned that this was going to go badly for many women, and that they would regret being responsible for their own safety, were shouted down. Men largely shrugged and went away. Why should men sacrifice themselves for people who don't respect them when they do, and even try to prosecute them when they do?

You can't have it both ways. You can't have your autonomy AND have others protect you - it's impossible. Whitney Houston had to learn that the hard way in the movie - it nearly cost her life. She didn't respect Kevin Costner, despite his repeated warnings, and she nearly died. Only then would she give up her power for his protection.

Only now, it doesn't matter what YOU want individually. Feminists have spoken for ALL women, for 60 years, and now women are "strong and independent" and "don't need no man." That's not what men wanted, because men understood what the world was, and how dangerous it could be. But women insisted, and now they have what they demanded - and now they're responsible for their own safety (physical, mental, emotional, and otherwise).

When this makes you depressed, please thank a Feminist. They worked hard to give that to you, and to shame men away from their duty to society. Most young men today, 3 generations into Feminism, don't even understand WHY men ever protected women, because they've been taught that protecting women was sexist and wrong.

Thank a Feminist.

[ComteDeSaintGermain]

My friend saw a guy beating his girlfriend, and he told him to stop. The boyfriend ignored him and kept hitting her. My friend beat up the boyfriend, but he saw blood coming down his face and then looked at the girlfriend, and she hit him with a glass bottle.

Life is not a fantasy book or a movie. It's real life. People are not pretend characters. People act differently than what you see in the film. It's better to leave it to the police or a professional to help the woman. Promoting these gender stereotypes is harmful and dangerous. Men and Women should not be put in a box and expected to behave in a certain way.

A woman can get a job, have a career, and take of herself as much as a man can get a career and take care of himself. Gender norms lead to adverse outcomes that aren't realistic and put people in harm's way. We should not expect a woman to be in the kitchen and be a stay-at-home mom. And we shouldn't expect the man to be involved in raising his kids and only be there to provide utility.

We shouldn't restrict one gender to the exception because it leads to unfair treatment of men and women. It's not any gender's job to do what is expected of them. The limitations we place on ourselves will hurt us and allow us to be mistreated.

[Asker]

I agree, but you know the one thing I will disagree with you on, is that the world is highly male dominated I think males don't even realize it because they are male themselves.

For example within my family too I was never allowed to peacefully build on my career. My brother was given several benefits that I or my sister never had.

For me and my sister it was always a do or die kind of mentality whereas my brother was supported every step of the way.

[ComteDeSaintGermain]

I never said that men do not have any advantage. What I was saying is that discrimination against one gender is terrible in general. Society promotes the idea that men are the ones who are the most productive and should be the bread winners and more capable. So when it comes to legal cases, they will get a more serious charge than a woman would because a man is seen as the one who is supposed to protect and provide, not a caregiver or a nurturing soul. The woman would get a lower sentence because people view women as emotional less logical, and less capable of doing harm.

There's also alexithymia, which is a mental condition caused by men being told not to cry or share their feelings. They are said women don't like men who cry or who are sensitive, so they suppress their emotions, become suicidal, and suffer from social isolation. Discriminating against one gender causes discrimination against the gender that discriminates as well.

The people in power and who control things want to feel like one gender is privileged. That's why see Andrew Tate and red-pill junk all over the internet. They want to put one gender against the other one. It's a divide-and-conquer strategy. Notice how you're focusing on your own brother's advantages that he had. He is your family member. That why rugged individualism is promoted it's segregates us and causes us to neglect our families and communities. Like how telling a man not to be emotional or nurturing is keeping him distant from his kids and his wife.

If you look at Apartheid South Africa the two black tribes Zulu and Xhosa would fight against each other all the time even though the ones who were treating them like garbage were the Afrikaans. Afrikaans would do corrupted stuff in the background while the Zulu and Xhosa were distracted fight against each other until they realized who the real enemy is.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

They do, I have received so many offers of help ever since I broke my leg. Some wanted to come to me just for cooking for me.

I know their real motives, so I turned them all down.

[sawno]

Yes and no, depends on the situation. I love healing a girl who has been in bad relationships, showing that I genuinely care and becoming her comfortzone. I love building her up and being a true partner.

However there is a big caveat to that, these things have to happen while our own interactions are positive and healthy so there is an entry barrier to that. If she's constantly projecting her struggles on me thats going to get very tiresome quick. So if she constantly accuses me for what others did wrong rather than accepting I am different and doesn't change thats going to make me quit. If she's depressed and all conversations with her are just depressive then i'm not going to become interested in pursueing further.

But if she is a girl who I get along with well and the struggles are something I can help her with I genuinely love helping her heal.

[sawno]

I also would like to add that I do the same for friends. I have a close friend I am not romantically or sexually interested in who I love spending time with. She can talk to me about anything and we had multiple moments where she could share her pain with me to the point she cried from how much her past hurt her. In those moments I come trough and build her back up, showing her strengths to her and showing why the people who hurt her were at fault. Or if she was at fault being honest and helping her improve. After all honesty is a big factor in it.

So we do exist, but we also won't randomly come across someone depressed and think to help them since I tried that in the past and it results in them bringing me down instead of me. lifting them up. It has to happen trough an already established bond and moments of joy.

[ProbablyClueless]

The distressed part isn't what we find attractive. It's feeling like we're actually add value to someone's life and that we're being appreciated for it.

Many modern women make a very intentional point of letting men know how little they appreciate our effort. If they don't do it through their words, they do it through their actions.

[Berethor]

Kinda, but not all women can be saved, books and movies overestimate man's power.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Made_of_Iron

[Anonymous]

There are no damsels in distress. 9 times out of 10 if a woman is doing that it's a tiger trap. It's best for the guy to just go the other direction. Experienced guys know this.

It's OK to do this for elderly women.

[Staximus]

You can save a woman from certain situations but you can't save them from themselves.

[Anonymous]

A depressed woman is not what comes to mind when I think of a damsel in distress.

[Djaay]

Give all of us men a few good reasons WHY !!

[noohair]

Fiction is not life.