The question is reopen now, though I accidently selected a mho.
Feel free to voice your opinions!
You can talk about you feelings, but the important ones.
Don't go vagina bleeding your heart all over the place
And don't look like this guy
Everything requires balance.
I was raised to be a tough cookie, even though I had times in my life where I admittedly wasn't. You have to have thick skin and to know when to toughen up, but you also have to know that expressing shit is necessary for your own sanity. I want a guy to be in control of his emotions the way I am and be able to express them in a healthy way. Some dudes just absolutely take it to an extreme and go off the deep end, letting a bad day bring them to their knees while they bawl and blubber how they're such a nice guy and don't deserve any hardships. That is where I draw the line because that's mental and emotional weakness.
What women want is an emotionally mature man that can express his feelings in a respectful, healthy manner. This means that we want him to be able to tell us when he is feeling happy, sad, angry, unsure, etc. in a respectful and mature way.
If he is mad at us, sure let him have his space for a little bit but he should be able to come to us and explain why he is mad without being aggressive like people typically expect. He shouldn't just ignore us until he magically feels better.
Also, I don't care what y'all will say men feel the urge to cry and that's ok. Your mom died? You just nearly cut your finger off cutting potatoes? Broke up with gf? Yes it's OK to cry. But just like with emotionally immature girls, we don't want them sobbing over every little thing. Have a little grit.
When emotional we mean we want him to express his affection for us. Tell us you love/care about us, be physically comforting, if you feel safe open up about yourself and tell us things you wouldn't tell most people.
I think there's many emotionally damaged males who could get help from a therapist to feel better but don't because of societal pressure to "be a man" and not show emotion. Women who make fun of men for crying, etc. further this.
Honestly just be yourself and don't surpress your feelings to please a girl. Why is it okay for a girl to be sensitive and, at times, overly emotional yet when a guy stops bottling up he's labeled "pathetic"? Sensitivity isn't gender related, it's a personality trait. It's so much more attractive when a man isn't concerned with "being a man." If a girl cares for you she isn't going to judge you for opening up so I guess all those girls that worry about the lack of mystery, if you do decide to open up, are the ones you should let loose
I personally like an emotional guy. Can't speak for other girls, but I think it's cute. I like to see that guys actually do care and have emotions and aren't afraid to show it. And there is a big difference between being a normal, emotional person and being a mess. It's totally fine to cry and open up, but if its way too often then yea, the guy will seem a little pitiful.
It depends on WHAT GUY chooses WHAT GIRL, if a girl accepts the guy being emotionally expressive or NOT, then it means they just found the right partner.
It's not that we ARE NEVER HAPPY about this, but it all depends on US WOMEN as well how we approach MEN, so :) ye
I want someone who is emotional but not someone who is a drama queen. It's very reassuring when you're with a guy who is capable of being emotional. When my boyfriend and I started talking again after a difficult few months apart, there was one night he was over at my house and we were talking and I started crying a little bit and I felt like an idiot, but he started crying a little bit too. He was super embarrassed but I don't know I guess it validated that we were both feeling the same way.
I want an emotionally intuitive guy. One who recognizes the correct time to display a certain emotion. He needs to know when the incorrect time to display an emotion as well. And he needs to recognize when I am displaying an emotion and have the correct emotional response to my emotion - whatever it is.
He doesn't need to wilt into a puddle every time a conflict comes up. But he does need to recognize the acceptable emotions to be displayed at any given time.
there is such a thing as too emotional, my ex is one of them. I like a guy who says what's bothering him, but when he works up emotions to such extremes it's really hard to deal with, especially when they can''t see reason and are so sensitive the slightest harsh tone to my voice upsets them >.<
well its okay for a guy to talk out his feelings with hia girl. its absolutely okay to talk about whats bothering him IF he can find a solution and of course if his girlfriend helps him a bit.
thats a healthy conflict to go through.
BUT if the guy dwells on it for a long ass time and complains a lot and does the "poor me" shit, and doesn't use advice from his girl. then that fucken shit annoying. like he's just pushing it to a crybaby level.
No, I wouldn't blame a guy for opening up. I think for me, what bugs me is explosive behavior. My boyfriend is really horrible about that. If one thing does not go his way, he is just in a foul mood. Which contradicts me because I am so passive and c'est la vie about everything.
Yes, i wish to have an emotional boyfriend so he can feel me, understand me and do what i like without telling him. My current boyfriend isn't emotional and this is makes me get upset at him because i think that he don't care bout me plus i am a girl and girls are emotional, sensitive so they need an emotional guy who can understand em and show em care and love.
For me it is fine for my guy to be emotional. I had a boyfriend before who cried when he felt something really hurting about his family. I admired him that he opened up and showed his emotion in front of me. I would love to have someone like him again.
I have a really close guy friend who opens up to me and I don't think less of him. I've seen him cry over his family problems and I'm just there for him. I'm also really close to my brother and he opens up to me. I personally like when a guy opens up to me because it means that they trust you
I like when a guy can be emotional. Society and gender stereotypes tell guys they can't be human and emotional and when guys understand that they can be emotional and shouldn't be judged for it shows a lot of character.
Is this a legit question or are you venting frustration? My boyfriend is a very emotional person. He is very cheesey about feelings. When I had to leave (ldr) we both cried. I rubbed his back and kissed him. I don't think there's anything wrong with being emotional. The only time I don't wanna hear it with his venting is about family matters because he just wants to complain and not do anything about it and it stresses me out!
Some girls do yeah. But not all. I think it's just finding that balance.
And it's the same vice versa. Guys say they want clingy girls but if they're clingy then it's annoying but if they're not, guys think they're not interested. Both sexes make things hard for the other.
What to do?
Get over it , accept yourself and find someone with mutual vibrations. But don't open up too fast, unless you feel like the person you're opening up to is worthwhile. But again, you can neverr know that for sure. Everytime you open up, you take a risk. Be careful
I don't want a robot I want a guy with emotions and one that can understand what I'm going through.
I will respond from my relationship coaching lens: There is a phrase that nice guys finish last and I do not agree with it. Timid guys finish last--and there is a difference. Timid guys are a turn off to women because timid guys lack confidence and that lack of confidence effects how they communicate. In this, I have known plenty of men (clients, friends, family) who saw themselves as being emotionally available but the means by which they communicated put on an air of doubt and insecurity. I don't know your personal stories and do not want to judge you as timid, you may not be--but in my professional opinion, most men that feel as though they get flac for being too emotional demonstrate timid tendencies.
I understand your confusion. I was once one of those guys that fell into this exact same trap, but I've learned with experience and pure logic that this isn't what that want at all.
Women are emotional creature, possessing an emotional mind. Many of the things that they do have to do with how they feel. That being said, as a man, you tend to thing with rationale and logic.
By becoming emotional to them by showing your feelings to them, being emotionally reactive to what they say to you, and etc, you are in their eyes.. another woman. Woman are not attracted to other emotional creatures, even bisexual and homosexual women. You cannot be emotional towards women because women already think emotionally, causing them to lose attraction for you. Though this brings me to a new point.
Although women say that they want an emotional guy, they're sort of correct, but mostly wrong. Instead, women need someone to make them "feel" something in order for an attraction to exist. You may have heard of women crying to sad and tragic movies that they have seen, feeling bad for the main characters or even catching an attraction for the male because they have successfully made the woman feel something. Look at abusive boyfriends as well. Although the women already know that their boyfriends are bad for them, abusive boyfriends manage to keep their girlfriend around because they're (unfortunately) insecure, and those abusive boyfriends exploit that weakness by making their girlfriends feel worse about themselves, keeping an attraction in the air.
Even with getting over unreciprocated crushes.., because the girl has already taken an interest in the guy, whatever that guy does (even when the girl is trying to move on), he makes her wonder whether or not he's still interested, and that's proof that he is successfully making the woman feel something, whatever that feeling may be.
My main point is, you can't ever use your emotions to try to create an attraction with a girl. It will never work.. unless you are able to appeal to her emotions. They are already emotional, and women are not attracted to other emotional creatures. If you want the better girlfriend, you're going to have to make her feel like she's worth greatness without losing yourself in the process (as mentioned in paragraph 2). Make her feel something, and you'll do well. Good luck.
I'll tell you something right hear about being sensitive. Girls dont want to date robots and they dont want to dont guys who can't control their emotions. women are attracted to masculinity, and that is just true. However, having the ability to let go and show an emotional side only for her is something that girls want, and it shows you are a well balanced and authentic male. Authenticity is a part of masculinity. However, you need the ratio. for example 80/20. look at a yin yang a think of masculinity and femininity like that. they are complimentary of one another and each male and female a little bit of the opposite in them. You need to learn to become a well balanced male and thats what going to attract women. How to do this? Well clearly, you have mastered the softer sides of strength and youve learned to be empathetic and compassionate. Good, since some guys are too hard and stiff to feel what you feel. but dont get too cocky, if you find it harder to toughen up, rather than soften down, then you obviously need to work on that. you need to develop your harder more masculine strengths and you need own your masculinity. Dont let the world own you and tell you your masculinity is toxic because it is not. there is a war on men, but you need to resist. Focus on character traits such as Courage, Discipline, Self reliance, time management, assertiveness, and you will learn to become more balanced. hope i gave you some insight.
What? . No way!. I don't think so and in fact I am sure of this. As far as women are concerned, I am sure they want men who are very logical but at the same time men who can respect and understand their feelings while they themselves won't be emotional and weak minded.
Hence I think women really want men who are mentally strong, logical and understanding by nature.
I am sure a women won't find an emotional guy attractive! or appealing for that matter.
Let's get something straight... every individual person is looking for something different! Ofc you can put up some tag's, for ex. vain guys like vain boys or nerds like the looks of the prom queen but, at the end of the day, up other nerds, etc. Bottom line, you'll have tons of opinions... but none of them will answer YOUR question... since they are the express individual opinion of each one of them... sorry brother. Take a big hug from me instead!
In my opinion it entirely depends on circumstance. You could express yourself word for word, action for action in exactly the same way in two or more different locations, places and times to different or even the same people and you would not get the same reaction. The solution to this issue is not "if" you should or shouldn't express yourself, but more like "when and how" you do it.
It all boils down to knowing the right time and place.
No, as a man you are not required to have emotions, the only women who will tolerate your emotions are your mom, sisters, female friends and the girl you marry after she becomes you wife for a while, any other girl you have a slight interest in will think you're pathetic if you ever show weakness or emotions.
No. They don't want a rock, but not an emotional guy either.
Don't ever cry in front of a girl unless it's a happy cry (like when your kid is born), or because a relative died.
Emotionally unstable I don't think anyone would want. To me that would cover crying, worrying, jealousy etc. Emotional as in being open and showing you care in a healthy respectful manner I can't see why anyone wouldn't want that.
Just be yourself. Then you wait and see who sticks around :)
You are clearly a nice guy eh? Since when you open your problems to your girl and exposing her to more emotional disarray? Man don't talk problems only solutions. ..
I believe that the old adage is still very beneficial to this day, "just be yourself". The people who don't fuck with you were never meant to fuck with you.
Emotional guys tend to be toxic. If you go around punching people or things when you're angry or even killing people when you're really angry, crying every single time you're slightly upset, developing all kinds of trust issues from the mildest suspicions, exhibit jealousy all the time, become controlling, etc. -- that's generally not going to be unattractive to girls.
Even in the rare case that it is attractive and the girl becomes addicted to a very emotional and abusive and controlling guy, it's generally better to learn how to control those emotions and become a calm being who learns self-discipline and stoicism.
Just be you. Can't win every time for every person. Eventually you will surround yourself with people ya dig and who dig you, for you.
Girls want empathic and compassionate guys - but not whiny little bitches.
There is a difference between opening up n being vulnerable...
and being a little bitch who cries n complains n is pessimistic n is always in his feelings n getting emotional n etc.
Get the point?
He is "too emotional and pathetic" only if the emotions he shows aren't ones she (or people in general) like.
psychologically speaking, no, women like stronger dudes even if they say they don't care. Don't worry I'm on the same boat as you. At this point I'm convinced that it depends on the girl.
Very rarely will a chick want a man more emotional than her. Emotional guys tend to get trampled on in general. As a man, you should have control over your emotions and should never cross the line of what would be considered sensitive. Women can preach how they want a nice sensitive guy all day, but there is a reason why those same women are always single and/or dating the guy in opposition to that. They aren't actually attracted to those types of guys.
I was scoring the most pussy when I was less available with my emotions. It created more mystery. I've always struggled with intimacy. I hate cuddling.. holding hands.. I hate all of that stuff. It worked to my benefit when I was having casual sex though. That within itself has to say something.
Luckily I found a girl in whom I can connect with and actually understands how that I do have have emotions but express it in a different way. She was patient in figuring me out.
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