Should I follow him back?

[Anonymous]

This guy from my past followed me on TikTok. We have history but we never dated. He liked me romantically but I wanted to be just friends. Last time we talked we had a heated text exchange and we haven’t spoken since and that was years ago. We weren’t on the same page with our intentions and he was upset about that. He thought I was playing games with him. Some of the things he said made me think he was Bitter because I wouldn’t date him.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a tricky situation girl. On the one hand, following him back could open the door for more drama if y'all still have unresolved issues. But not following may come off as petty or further piss him off too.

My advice would be - think long and hard about why he reached out now after all this time. Is he tryna rehash old arguments? Test the waters to see if you changed your mind about dating? Just being nosy on social media? You gotta trust your gut on his intentions.

If it were me, I'd probably follow him back but be real short with him if he tries chatting. Set clear boundaries upfront that you're keeping it cordial but not looking to revisit past drama. Keep him at arm's length until you see his vibe is truly just friendly catch-up, feel me?

Don't let him suck you back into foolishness unless you honestly wanna give romance a shot this time around. Your peace of mind comes first doll! Feel it out and be ready to block him again if his energy's still off. You got this mama!

[Asker]

I think he is testing the waters to see if I changed my mind about dating because he gave me a compliment. He told me I was perfection. Besides that he messaged me once and I didn’t respond and that was it. I haven’t heard from him since

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that does seem like he might be testing the waters a bit then. Saying you're "perfection" is definitely sending some vibes that he's still interested. But at the same time, it's only been that one message so far that you didn't respond to, so he could just be keeping it casual. It's kinda hard to say for sure either way.

I'd maybe not respond right away if he messages again, just to see what he does. If he keeps trying to engage you without getting a response, then maybe he is hoping to change your mind. But if it was just that one message and nothing since, it might have just been a feeler.

On the one hand, he could definitely still have feelings since he threw out a compliment like that. But on the other hand, it has been years so maybe he's had time to cool off and be chill now too. Hard to know for sure without talking to him. If you don't wanna deal with any awkwardness or drama, maybe just leave it be. But if you're open to being friends at least, you could always try just keeping it light and casual if you do respond.

Up to you what you think is best. Don't feel pressured either way. Just go with your gut and do what you feel comfortable with! Let me know if anything else happens though, keep me posted on the situation.

[Asker]

He definitely appears different based on how he is on social media. In the past he was so immature on social media that he would always subliminally talk about me. I guess right now we could be social media friends. I don't even know how to break the contact barrier and be friends with him. I'm unsure if that's even possible because he clearly likes me.

He asked me through the DMs if my phone number was the same. I told him yes. He then asked if it was okay if could text me and I didn't respond. Do you think if I didn't want to talk to him I should've ignored his initial message?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah this dude still sounds confusing sis. On one hand, him seeming more mature on social media now is a plus I guess. But asking for your number out of the blue like that is still kinda iffy behavior.

If you're truly not interested in anything romantic and just wanna see if a friendship could work, I'd say keep him at more than arm's length for now. Like replying to his stories but nothing private via DMs/texts.

That way there's distance to make clearer you just wanna be social media acquaintances. And if he keeps pushing for more contact when you're not vibing it, then you know for sure a friendship isn't possible.

As for him asking for your number - I don't think you did anything wrong by telling him yes first. But not responding when he asked to text shows you're not fully open yet either. Helps keep that gray area vs hard nos.

My advice would be don't stress too much either way for now. Let him prove himself as mature for a while longer in public spaces before letting him any closer to your private life again. Go with your gut feeling - if he starts to give creep vibes again, peace out fast sis!

[Asker]

He didn’t ask for my number. He already had it because we talked in the past. I guess he wanted to confirm if it was still the same since we last talked.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I see, my bad for misunderstanding that part. Yeah if he already had your number from back in the day when you guys were talking, then just asking to confirm it was still the same isn't too weird I guess.

I'd say go with your gut feeling on whether to respond about texting or not then. On one hand, answering could keep the lines of communication open if you do want to chat casually every now and then. But if you aren't sure where his intentions really are or don't want to deal with any confusion, then leaving it on read is fair too.

At the end of the day you gotta do what will make YOU feel most comfortable. If talking a bit more could give you clarity on whether a real friendship is possible without any weird vibes, then maybe give it a shot. But you definitely shouldn't feel obligated to if your gut says to keep some distance for now. He'll just have to accept whatever you decide is best for your situation. Just be straight up so there's no mixed signals, you know? Keep doin you!

[Still-alive]

you can follow him back but don't message him.

i got a feeling he still has feelings and is possibly looking to see if you changed your mind and like him back now. so just beware of that possibility

[Asker]

I agree with everything you said. That is why I’m unsure if I should follow him back because I’m certain he will message me. If I follow him back he would assume I’m interested in him. He already gave me a compliment by saying I was perfection.

[Still-alive]

Alright you don't have to follow him back then. i was suggesting that jic he truly wants a friendship, but tbh it likely isn't that so. there might be a way to make absolutely sure though but if you don't wanna go through it then its understandable. save your energy for your actual guaranteed friends

[Asker]

How can I know for sure?

[Still-alive]

Well just by letting him message you (you don't message him) and then without any prompting on your part he brings it up.

or if he doesn't message you at all, or at least for a long time that might show he's not really after anything beyond friendship.

[Asker]

He messaged me but only to ask if he could text me. He said nothing besides that

[Still-alive]

Ehh i would tell him no for now and to just talk in dms. Why does he need you to text him? Sounds iffy to me.

[Asker]

I'm not sure honestly that is why I ignored that message. I guess because we already know each other he would rather text me than message in the DMs. He asked me if my phone number was the same before asking if he could text me and I told him yeah.

[Unycorn]

No, if you were really interested you wouldn't ask us Here.

So: No

Not useless stress or time burning things

[Asker]

He knows by now I’m not interested. If I follow him back it’s just to show I have no bad blood

[sheikalana]

I'd suggest to let things in the past and not get in touch with him.

[Asker]

If he already followed me, isn’t it the right thing to follow him back because there is no bad blood?

[sheikalana]

If there's no bad blood then why did you feel the need to mention all you've mentioned above?

[Asker]

Because if I didn’t people on here would’ve said I need more context.

[sheikalana]

From what you wrote it seems to me there's no need for you to follow him back.

[Asker]

TikTok is mostly meaningless and I follow back mostly everyone that follows me and he would fall under that that’s why I asked. Since I already know this guy if I follow back would he possibly think I like him back?

[sheikalana]

He probably would. He might be trying to rekindle things or get back in touch for whatever reason that is not worth it.

[Asker]

I think so because he already messaged me and first he wanted to see if my phone number was the same. Then he wanted to know if he could text me

[sheikalana]

Waste of time.

[KrakenAttackin]

You were playing games with him and stringing him along. Now that you have been run through and he is likely more established, he looks better to you.

[Asker]

How did you make the conclusion that I was playing games and stringing him along with what I wrote?

[KrakenAttackin]

It's pretty obvious, "I just wanted to be friends".

[Asker]

Okay what’s your point? You’re jumping to conclusions when you don’t even have enough information

[boggboss]

Why does it matter if u follow or not

[Asker]

Because he followed me and I’m unsure if I should follow him back or leave it

[boggboss]

Why would u want to follow back if he was bitter that u didn't like him

[Asker]

That was in the past so if I followed him back it would show I have no bad blood towards him. Also it’s tiktok, out of all social media’s it doesn’t mean much so he can’t get the wrong idea.

[boggboss]

If its such a nothing then why ask lol I think your setting yourself up for drama but who knows I guess

[Asker]

I don’t understand what kind of drama I could be getting myself into. I already know he likes me and by now he knows I don’t feel the same. If he starts harassing me I could just block him

[boggboss]

Because why add someone back u already know has feelings for u and can't accept just friendship but meh no your not wrong I guess u can just block him after

[laly520]

no need to follow back

[Asker]

Even if he followed me there is no need to reciprocate that?

[laly520]

yes indeed

[Asker]

If I did follow him back, what would that show him?

[laly520]

prolly nth

[Asker]

It wouldn’t give him the idea that something has changed and I’m not interested in him

[Anonymous]

TikTok?

Too funny.

[Asker]

Should I follow him back or not?