Guy's Behavior
1 mo

Does he really have a lot going on or has he just lost interest?

So I started seeing this guy around 6 months ago. Things started off really good but then I felt him getting a kind of distant. I brought it up and he said he just really had a lot going on. At first I thought he was using that as an excuse instead of just flat out saying he wasn’t interested, but over time he opened up more about the issues he was having at work and also in his personal life. And he hadn’t dipped on me right after saying that, so I believed that he was just really dealing with a lot.

I tried to be understanding with his situation but a month or so ago I snapped at him a bit. I was having a rough week and he kept saying he wanted to see me but would never actually come over or make plans. I ended up telling him no need to pretend you miss me or something like that. He got upset and told me it makes him sad that he can’t be there for me the way he wants to be but he doesn’t have the bandwidth to be in a relationship right now. I took that as him wanting to end things and cried my eyes out for a couple of days just for him to still be affectionate towards me and act the same way he always did as if nothing had happened.

We’ve been okay again for the most part but I notice he still pulls away sometimes when he’s going through a rough patch. I try to be there for him but it almost feels like he doesn’t want me to. Then I remember he already told me he’s not looking for a relationship so I figure it’s not really my place. But it’s just confusing because if things are shitty wouldn’t you want to be with the person you say you care about more, not less? Like wouldn’t seeing them be something to look forward to, even just as a quick distraction? So I don’t know what to think anymore, if he really just has a lot going on and I need to respect his space or if he’s not interested and I’m just being strung along.

Does he really have a lot going on or has he just lost interest?
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