He has a lot going on... What does it mean?

He whatsapped me on Monday and said he was gonna go dinner, then a while after I said "good night" and didn't heard from him until today, and because I whatsapped him "I really don't understand you" and he didn't answered, so I told him "take care, hope you're ok" he answered "Relax, What's wrong?" and I answered "you say one thing in person and then you don't talk to me" and he answered "I've got a lot going on, and you don't know, you just want to pick a fight" and I said "No, I'm just telling you as friends, and I think that as friends you can talk to me about it, but I'll leave you alone and you talk to me when you are ready and relaxed" and he said "Ok, I'll call you tomorrow"

Details/Background: He's 31 and I'm 23. We started as friends, We talked everyday all day, phone calls, video calls, whatsapp, etc, we saw eachother quite frequently, we went out, he came to my house, I went to his, we haven't had sex, and for the last month all this had been more and more, so I told him I'm starting to develop feelings for him, because I'm not looking for a relationship and neither is he, but he told me he wanted to talk to me. On Sunday he came to my house and said that at this moment he knows he won't give me all his spare time and his mind isn't in a relationship, but that when the day comes, he will see me.

He has told me during the past 2 months that he has turn down two friends that wanted something more with him, and he said that he told them that he couldn't talk to them anymore. But he told me that he isn't gonna stop talking to me, but if that's what I want he will. He also said that I'm the girl he talks to the most and the others he just doesn't give them any importance.

What does it mean he has a lot going on? Why couldn't he just say "hi" or something?


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  • Well the fact that he is still talking to you and says he talks to you the most is a good thing. He cares about you because out of his friends he is only talking to you now. When he says he's got a lot going on thats what he means. It sounds like he got a lot of personal stuff going on and doesn't feel like talking to anyone about it just yet. Just be patient with him. If he doesn't text you back right away, he may just be wrapped up in something he is dealing with. :)

  • You clearly want more and he doesn't. You are on two different pages. If you're not satisfied with the current situation and don't think you can be friends and *act* as friends, then you should move on.