I like this guy, im not sure if he likes me but I don't know how to tell him?

[Anonymous]

We have known each other since we were little (he is my friends cousin) so we have hung out when we were younger. He lives 8 hours away from me now, but i dont know if he likes me but I like him.
what do i tell him? Or how do i tell him?

[Anonymous]

Okay, girl! Here's the thing: sometimes the scariest part is just starting. The best way to know if he likes you is to put out a feeler. You could ask him to do something casual, like grabbing coffee or seeing a movie. If he seems excited, that's a good sign! And hey, even if he doesn't like you back, at least you'll know and you won't wonder "what if?" Good luck!

[Asker]

I would love to ask him to do something casual but he lives 8 hours away! Maybe I should just take my shot?

[Anonymous]

What’s your communication with him? Does he seem interested as well?

[Asker]

We talked on instagram a few times and on Snapchat. But I feel like he is interested but I just don’t know

[Opinion Owner]

You say talked, does that mean it’s not regularly? I guess I’m asking because I wonder how much of a point there is in confessing and how practical a relationship could be. Sure it gets that weight off your shoulders, but if you already aren’t talking much, could he become consistent or is even interested in doing so if he isn’t already? What about the distance? Do you think he’d be willing invest in commuting back and forth? All these are things to consider.

[Asker]

Hmm I see your point. I feel instead of having “what if” moments I should just get it out no matter what. I’m not too scared about rejection

[Opinion Owner]

That is a great outlook to have, so long as you have the confidence regardless then good on you. Well, I’d say that when you do decide to confess, if he feels the same and wants to try things out, have a solid plan in place. LDRs are never meant to be long-term, so you wanna have a silver lining in place, maybe one would move closer or what I mentioned earlier about investing in commuting back and forth. Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand that these things are a ways away and nothing to worry about just yet, but they will be. And what you don’t wanna do is waste your time if dealing with him is pointless.

[Asker]

I totally agree with you! Do you think this is a good way to say it “ hey, I’ve been meaning to say this for a while, but I wasn’t sure how to. I just wanted to say that I like you. I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but I felt like I needed to get that off my chest” or something else?

[Opinion Owner]

That’s fine to say but not over text. Ask for a phone call so you can have a real conversation. My thing with texting is that it leaves too much opportunity for him to duck your question, come up with an excuse, or any of that. You want the most honest version of his response and a phone call is the best way to do so. If you can’t get him on the phone then I feel like that says a lot about how busy he is or how much interest he has in a phone conversation.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s more intimidating OTP I know, it’s nerve wracking!! But think of it like this, it can be the first of many serious conversations for all you know, and you need to feel comfortable bringing up topics even if you’re worried or scared.

[Asker]

The thing is we haven’t had that much conversation that I can ask to talk on the phone 😅

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely something to consider in your decision-making. This is absolutely not me trying to “talk you off the ledge” so to speak, I think if it’s important to you, you should do it! But I’m naturally someone to look at all the angles before I do something big or small lol so this is the result. I just wonder, what are some things that can change to relay the crush before mention of it and giving yourself a better shot, more assurance? Like talking more, I think that would be a great place to start first, because one thing to know is that a confession won’t make someone “change”. It won’t make him initiate conversation more. These are things he would and should be doing naturally to at least suggest there’s romantic interest. Right now, if I were you I’d be trying to assure the best I could that the feeling was mutual, you know?

[Asker]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. I'm bad at making conversation that's my only problem. The last time we talked over messages was last Sunday, and he left me on read (but to be fair my message was open-ended where he didn't need to reply). I just don't know how to text him again, without seeming too upfront or making it too weird if that makes sense?

[Asker]

I wish there was a way for me to know how he felt or something, you know?

[Opinion Owner]

Great ways to tell if a guy likes you is his effort. Is he equally putting in the work to start and carry conversations when they happen? Or is it mainly you trying to think of topics and such when he does only minimally if at all? One thing you have to keep in mind is that not everyone is good at LDRs mainly because we all aren’t great with over the phone communication. Some people “need” in-person interactions in order to create memories and intertwine your lives more, giving you things to talk about. They want to see their partner often, have dates, hang out at either persons place, they need that kind of connection. I’m not saying he is that kind of person, but you the fact he’s been fine not talking to you all these days rather than reaching out because he misses you, could be an indicator. It can also be foreshadowing what you can expect from him when it comes to effort.

[Asker]

I guess you are right, I never thought about it that way. Thank you! Now I'm gonna think about what to do

[Asker]

Just a thought, but what if he is interested but he is, I guess shy in a sense?

[Opinion Owner]

No problem at all! That’s what my point here really is, to give you some aspects in your decision making to consider that you may not have before. There is nothing to lose by confessing, you wouldn’t be wrong for it and you have a great mindset to do so and take on whatever the aftermath is. You just want it to be worth it, and give yourself a good chance beforehand. It’s also an opportunity to learn more about him, like what’s his life like over there? Is he seeing anyone, looking to date? Even you can swing it, I’d even try to hang out in person to actually confess. Not only would that meet up give you an idea of what you can expect in the future (like if he’s willing to commute, work with you to meet up and follows through).

[Asker]

Do you think I should tell him that I am interested in getting to know him more because I like him? Or something like that?

[Opinion Owner]

I guess I wonder if you can get to know him without laying it out like that. Like I can declare I’m interested in getting to know someone, but that’s just all it is, a statement, a declaration. Actions are what make the difference, and I think you’ve been doing your part to relay at least interest in speaking. But he isn’t returning that energy on his own without you encouraging it, which can say a lot as well. You wouldn’t be wrong for being blunt, telling him you wanna get to know him because you like him. I guess I’m just saying that it would be nice for it to happen naturally, with him just wanting to speak with you as well because he was thinking about you or missing you, just as you’re feeling for him. When I think of my current relationship, it is actually my longest and he is the only man who actively showed interest without more work from me. Before that, I was always the one engaging, confessing, I always acted first. Now that I compare my boyfriends actions to those of other men, I feel like I can confidently say when a man likes you he can’t help but show you. This guy hasn’t really shown you, and has had plenty of time to do so within all your conversations. I can’t help but whether this is more of a ‘keeping in touch because you’ve known each other closely forever and consider you a good friend’ or ‘I’m chatting with you on Snapchat and elsewhere because I miss you and fond of our chats, hoping to progress’.

[Asker]

Hmm i see your point. Maybe its best if i not say anything then? But i don't want to have regret in the future that I didn't say anything you know? Because there will always be a "what if.." in my mind or maybe he was interested but he didn't think/know I was so didn't say anything. These thoughts will linger in my mind

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t want to suggest that you should like never say anything lol you wouldn’t be wrong for letting him know how you feel. This is really just me speaking openly, wondering if there’s a way you could test the waters beforehand, simply because I feel like a lot of his answer is in his actions already.

Only once in the past did I go out on a limb and tell a guy I liked him because ‘I thought he was interested in me but maybe didn’t know I felt that way as well’. What I’ve come to realize is that their answer will be in what they’re already doing.

For example, what is this guy actively doing to make you feel like he’s interested? And if he isn’t doing much, then what would be the excuse for it? Do we coddle the guy and say he’s shy or scared? So shy he lets days pass without so much as checking in or so scared it surpasses worry that someone may take you before he gets a chance? Because I personally don’t believe in those things anymore. I believe that a guy who’s truly interested would show it even in the most subtle of ways. He wouldn’t miss his shot with you.

These are really just my own talking points for you to consider in your decision making. Ultimately this is not a big deal — you tell him your interested and he’s either with it or he’s not. If he says he is then his actions afterwards would show how serious he is. But with the way I personally choose to navigate dating, I’m just saying that I think reassurance would be great first before putting yourself out there, and right now he isn’t giving you much of it on his own accord.

I’m not sure I’d be happy with a love story that basically stated I had to nudge him along the way. Had to get the ball rolling by telling him I liked him, had to nudge him a bit so he’d initiate convos more, nudge for him to come visit and try not to feel frustrated if I keep having to be the one who travels. This is what I envision with a man like him, not putting in work and expecting you to do it all.

[Asker]

Yeah i get what your saying. I think about everything now, thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

No problem good luck :)

[CaptainChaoss]

Ask the guy's friend (someone he talks to a lot) if your crush would be interested in a relationship. If the crush says no leave it at that. If the crush says maybe, then the friend needs to explain who it is. The crush will decide then if he is interested enough.

[mayurr]

No. Not all are real friends.

[Pterodon]

Just tell him what you told us

[mayurr]

Try to meet him alone at a nice place & ask.