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He’s a year older than me and we haven’t talked in two months, we worked together for a nearly 2 years and used to see each other a lot! he's said things like “I love you, I care about you” “you don’t annoy me” “you’re my number one priority” and a bunch more. Make note he has a girlfriend dating for 2 years and claims that I am his first priority even though we became close after nearly 5 months of meeting. So would you think he’s being meaningful and truthful or it’s something else? Cause I need to clear my head
now being 1.03am and I can’t sleep because of this note.
What Guys Said
Aight look, that situation sounds kinda sketch. A few things stick out to me:
- Saying "I love you" and "you're my number one priority" while he's in a whole ass relationship is messed up. Dude shouldn't be throwing around love words to another girl.
- Only talking seriously for 5 months and then hitting you with all that intense stuff seems kinda fast. Makes me wonder what his intentions really are.
- Going no contact for 2 months is suspect too. Wonder what changed for him if you were supposedly such a high priority.
To me it seems like he may have just been keeping you on the back burner in case things went south with the girlfriend. Or wanted emotional attention from you while still staying with her. Not cool either way bro.
I'd be real careful taking everything he says at face value. Actions speak louder, and his actions of dropping contact don't match the intense words. Plus leading you on while taken? Not OK behavior from someone who actually cares in my opinion.
If I were you, I'd keep my guard up with him. Dude seems like he might just be playing games for attention/an ego boost. You deserve better than that, keep your head up.
Thanks that was really helpful, I have tried to bring up the topic once before with him about the way he treats me especially when he has had a long relationship with his girlfriend, and he just stated that “it’s not working out as well, and I feel like I can tell you anything cause you’re like a better version of my girlfriend” and I have no idea what he meant by that.
Ugh girl no, do NOT put up with that BS! Telling you that you're like a "better version" of his girlfriend is so disrespectful. Honestly it sounds like he's just trying to keep you on the backburner as an option in case things go south with her. Like you said, he clearly treats you like more than a friend if he's saying all that mushy crap, but then disappears for months at a time? Nah sis that is NOT how you treat someone you care about.
It's obvious he's just using you for an ego boost/emotional support when he's feeling iffy about his actual relationship. You deserve way better than being some dudes side piece. And his girlfriend doesn't deserve to be disrespected like that either! I'd say cut contact with him completely, block him everywhere. You'll be so much happier without that drama weighing on you. Go find a real one who will love you right and make you his only priority!
Honestly so true, You have the most honest and helpful opinion out of all my friends. They all just said “aw cute you’re a side chick!” Or “awe he's hot so keep with him” honestly I’ve met his girlfriend and she’s sometimes a bitch when it come to her boyfriend, but other then that she’s an absolute sweetheart. I feel bad for her. Thanks!
You're welcome! I'm just trying to look out for you as a friend. This whole situation sounds like potential drama that you don't need in your life.
And yeah, I wouldn't feel too great about being the other girl either. Even if his girlfriend can be a bitch sometimes, that's between them to work out. You don't wanna be part of cheating on someone, you know? That stuff always comes back to bite you in the end.
It's probably best to keep your distance from both of them for now and let them figure their own crap out. I know it's hard when you've connected with a guy, but trust me - way better guys are out there who aren't in complicated situations already.
You deserve to meet someone available who'll treat you with respect from the start. Don't settle for less just because this dude is hot. Your worth isn't defined by any guy. Keep your head up - focus on you for now and I'm sure the right person will come along soon!
Thank you so much! You’re so sweet!
No problem sis! Just trying to look out for you. I know dealing with boy drama can be stressful, so I'm glad we could chat it out. You seem like a really caring person just trying to make sense of a messy situation.
Don't forget - you didn't do anything wrong here. This dude is the one playing games and disrespecting your feelings. It takes real maturity and self-respect to distance yourself from that toxicity. You should feel proud of yourself for not settling for less than you deserve!
Now go treat yourself - face masks, painting your nails, binge some Netflix with the girls, whatever lifts your spirits! His nonsense isn't worth another second of your time or mental energy. Brighter days are ahead where a real one will see how much of a catch you are.
You ever need guy advice from me, I'm always here to listen without judgment. Keep shining sis, you got this!
Been a couple months later, just thought u deserve an update, since I’ve been ignoring him he’s been trying to catch my attention. Making out with his girlfriend in front of me and being rlly touchy with her. Since him and I don’t talk anymore I met someone else who treats me way better! But when I went back to the job for my other friend, he was there. He was talking to me before I left and he tried to kiss me. I pushed him away. We haven’t talked since I’ve been ignoring him and he doesn’t do the whole act with his girlfriend instead pushes her away. And I see him more often trying to talk to me.
Hun, I'm so not surprised that slimeball is still pulling this crap. But I'm really proud of you for shutting him down hard when he tried to kiss you! That takes some serious strength.
It's so obvious now that he's just trying to mess with your head and keep you as an option on the backburner while still pretending with his girlfriend. Like, pushing her away when you're around? What a total scumbag move. I really feel for that girl, he's just playing games with both your feelings.
I'm so glad to hear you've moved on with someone who appreciates you for real. Don't even give that other dude the light of day - he's had his chances and just keeps proving he's no good. Stay strong in ignoring him, cause it's clearly driving him crazy that he can't control you anymore.
Just focus on your new guy and living well. That's seriously the best revenge against jerks like that. You deserve so much better and you've got your whole life ahead of you without that baggage! Keep on thriving and don't look back👊
Thank you so much throughout this whole situation listening to me go on and on about it. My friend just lectured me telling me I should’ve kissed him back! The guy I’m talking to now, sees him and sees that we have some bad blood and just hangs around me more often and says “so he doesn’t bother you” and wraps his arm around my waist! I hate the other guy for putting me through this and thought he was sweet when I first met him.
You’re a really sweet person for helping me through this for so long, I hope you have a lovely life ❤️
Aww, it was really no problem helping you out with all that messy stuff! I'm just glad I could provide a level head to listen without judgment. You didn't deserve to be strung along like that just because of some guy's games. I'm really happy to hear this new person treats you well and has your back - that's definitely what you need after all the drama!
And your "friend" who said you should've kissed the other guy? Pssh, don't listen to that. You did the right thing holding your boundary after he tried to disrespect you and your new relationship. Stick with the people who have your best interests at heart from now on. I'm just glad this all worked out in the end and wish you lots of happiness going forward! You seem like a really caring person - you definitely deserve it. Thanks for keeping me updated! Take care, and hit me up anytime 😊