If a man looking for friends, I will treat him like a friends, like he one of brothers. why not be upfront from the meet up?

[Anonymous]

I wish I could get a refund for time wasted…I have come across men that don’t be upfront about their intentions. If a friend is what you are looking for, just say that.. don’t wait until I get very interested in you to tell that you just want a friend. I could’ve been your friend from the start, and treated you like a friend.. I don’t really talk to my friends every day…maybe twice a week to twice a month.. we all busy.

[ohsheeT]

Well you're looking at things all wrong before you can become anything you have to become friends.

If you're looking for a date or two before you jump in the sack. Then I guess your way is the best.

But most guys are going to tell you I'm just looking for a friend they didn't say what level of friend they're looking for..

But no matter what guy you go out with in this world you have to be friends first let it work into something let them prove it to you that they want more you're the boss not them..

But you need to want to become friends too with a person. .

Not unless you're just going off of looks but it might take a few minutes to get to know the person on the inside so use it to your advantage when they say they're just looking for a friend..

Hell even I'm looking for a good friend.

And that good friend those words mean so much it's unreal.

I said looking for a good friend I didn't say a fuck buddy I didn't say friends with benefit.

With me no matter who I go out with I have to become their friend first we both have to be friends before it will go anywhere

[Asker]

I had a someone, who became my best friend…we dated for six months before he died. I had my match, we took things slow. It took him three months to kiss me, we never had sex because he respected me that much. He knew that I been hurt many times, and I knew he been hurt many times. We had fun, it didn’t matter what we did. We would sit and talk at the restaurants until the restaurants closed. I made him happy and he made me happy. I met his parents days before he died. I visited his grave and his parent showed up. His mom told that the night he came home, he told her that he think he found the one and she told him to take it slow. I had my best friend and match…no one can hold a candle to him. I am not going to find that again…he never judged me, and I was myself with him.

[ohsheeT]

People come into our lives for different reasons. I would have to say he. I'm curious to know if he new he was going to pass .

For some reason I get to vibe that he was trying to show you something teach you something about relationship. And what you should be looking for.
Also you should probably talk to him more often because with him passing it's just a moment of time. In his world right now but energy never dies when we are all made of energy everything on this planet
For some reason I think The story goes deeper than that. Never say never because you're talking yourself in or out of something and like I said I think he was trying to show you something or teach you something you never can tell you you might have been both together in a past life

[Asker]

His death fucked me up, he was my best friend in this life…I truly cared about him, I do miss him. Before I met him, I had gotten to point that I was done with and just gave up. But then he matched with on tinder and the rest is history.

The same way I matched with the super casual guy.. I was about to delete hinge and he matched with me…but obviously didn’t work out…he was looking for a relationship which I learned a week in a half ago. He said he was looking for friends because he is super busy.. he single because he so so busy that his last relationship didn’t make it. If he was honest the night we met up at the restaurants, I wouldn’t have mind just being friends…I don’t mind being friends now. But I am just over dating, I am done with it. He told he got a lot going on and asked me if he can reach out to me when he was ready, he said he wants his own space. Here’s the kicker though, I barely texted him, at one point I had him blocked for two days. If you got a lot going on right now are you questioning me.. about why I didn’t text you back…shit I was busy. I barely texted that man. I didn’t do shit to him. If you knew that you had a lot going on why the hell continue to talk me or meet up with me.

[Asker]

Oh and when the person asked if he reach out to me when he was ready…I said yes and that I had a lot of going on to. I got a lot of shit to do before it gets hot.

[ohsheeT]

One day I bet you run into somebody's just like him

[Asker]

There was only one him. And that ship as sailed. And I honestly think that dude asked if he if he could reach out me when he is ready to get me to leave him alone. I barely texted him. Many of the texts I sent, I was sending to other guys also.. when I asked him if he saw the eclipse, I also asked my friends. I was not blowing up his phone all day…I know people have jobs, I am not heartless.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Sounds like you got friend zoned... Not too common for ladies

[Asker]

That’s fine, I didn’t really want the person anyways…I don’t like liars. And they caused my period not to show up, now I am looking for my period

[spartan55]

He didn't lie about anything. You have no one to blame but yourself.

[Asker]

BRUH!! GET A LIFE!! BITCH, WERE YOU THERE? WERE YOU AT THE RESTURANTS? WERE YOU IN A GROUP TEXT WITH US? WERE YOU IN THE IN THE BED WITH USE? YOU WERE NOT THERE? FUCK OFF AND GET YOUR SELF A LIFE! I AM SICK OF YOUR NEGATIVITY YOU PRICK

[Asker]

@spartan55 LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DONT KNOW SHIT!! YOU WERENT THERE!!

[bobby_bush_eater]

Dam. I hope you find someone honest, what you're looking for...

[Asker]

I am not looking anymore, I am tired of being burned. So I give up…i honestly just want a baby.

[DishLady]

Guys don't just walk up to a woman to be friends with her. They are generally very goal oriented and will always want something very practical from a person they approach. Maybe it's your homework, maybe it's your popularity, maybe it's love/sex/etc. etc. etc. There's always a purpose. There's no "Hey you seem interesting, let's go for a coffee." that doesn't end up with him asking for something later on.


Then as they see that you're not a good match for them it's possible that, to be polite, they suggest being friends, which is to say that you have some purpose in their life, but it's not as their main girl.


If a guy tells you that directly after using him for sex, do not accept friendship, just walk away. He was using you for sex and may do it again, which is bad for you.

[Asker]

Why bother asking me out. I am so over the shit. We’re not on high shit

[Asker]

school*

[DishLady]

I know… and many would agree with you. But that’s this guy’s process.

You’re free to reject it and move on!

[Account]

I dont understand the problem and I dont understand why you feel entitled.
People are allowed to change their minds anytime they see fit.
You can't expect someone to keep dating you if they don't feel it.

[Foreveralonevirgin]

If she is the type that prefers to invite random men or strangers in her house and not someone who is a friend leave her be. Usually women like this are just looking for a guy who matches their same level immaturity to use as a scape go when their relationships go sour. It's usually because they are boring and empty and need other people's sympathy to make themselves feel special that is why she gets bored so easily and can't handle a long-term relationship.

[Asker]

I never said I was entitled to anything. Men aren’t entitled to nothing either…I can change my mind to. At this point I don’t want nothing to do with a physical man.

[Asker]

@Foreveralonevirgin I don’t invite randoms over. I am not boring…I am a very open minded and always up for adventures. And I don’t need any sympathy from no man. And don’t compare me to other women, we’re not the same. I don’t want to be with anyone…especially not white men anymore.

[Account]

Of course you can change your mind anytime you see fit. It seems like you raised your expectations regarding on what would happen, but for the sake of yourself never do that. Never have any expectations from anyone that is the only way to save yourself from future heartbreaks.

[Asker]

Well thanks…I am not even interested in meeting men anymore, especially white men.. my black ass is finish.

[Account]

I understand, I had to read the rest of your commits to get it. In the beginning I assumed that you were in the talking phase and was sort of platonic, which would have been alright for him to say that he likes you as a friend. However after sleeping with you and raising your expectations, it is quite unfair of him to throw the friendship card. He should have told you the truth: That is he is emotionally incapable of being in a relationship right now or that he doesn't feel like trying. Being like "I want to be friends" after sleeping with them and knowing that the other person is looking for a relationship is not something that a good person would do.
Anyway, sure if it makes you happy and it gives you some peace of mind, refrain from dating, I am actually doing the same.

[Account]

Comments *

[PeachyPie93]

If they were up front they wouldn't get what they want, which is in your pants. That's why you make them work for it or accept they will just use you because they can. That is men in general, that is why I don't meet men in person because they are gonna try to lead it to sex. They are all the same don't expect them to be stand up guys. I suggest not using dating apps if you looking for something serious.

[Asker]

THEY WERE NOT UPFRONT.. I DID NOT FIND OUT UNTIL LAST WEEK…I MET HIM IN February!!

[PeachyPie93]

I get that. What I am saying is they won't be upfront because if they were, they wouldn't be able to have sex with you.

[bobalife]

Some people just changed their minds when they’re not interested anymore. I do this as well when I think they’re better as a friend and not more, so I use the friendship card lol.

[Asker]

I can change my mind too. I got enough friends. I don’t need anymore friends, I like keeping circle small. I didn’t want a relationship anyways, I thought the person did.. so I went along with it. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, because I am tired of being burned…it’s exhausting. And I am just over dating white men as a whole….

[bobalife]

I feel it. Maybe take a break or be open on your intentions.

[Asker]

I won’t be dating all anymore. At this point, I just want a baby. I don’t want a relationship or marriage at.

[Jamie05rhs]

Tell me about it. I could say the same thing about women.

[Asker]

The person was not upfront with me, if he was when were first started talking I would have decline the super casual…but I would have been cool with just be friends. I just learned that week that he was just looking for friends , super casual.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm sorry that happened to you. In the future, try to reserve sex for a committed relationship.

[Asker]

I am no longer on the market, I took myself off

[Jamie05rhs]

I understand.

[Anonymous]

it's always about sex with guys

[Asker]

I am done with men as a whole. I already had my match.. he died.

[mbarsi01]

Yea that’s lame of them