Hi guys,
so i’ve been dealing with insecurity for a long time and I don't know how to snap out of it. i freak out that my boyfriend is cheating on me whenever he doesn’t answer my phone calls. i feel like he has someone at his house or he’s talking to someone else or he is interested in someone else. i think i feel this way because in the past he has DMed a girl saying she was pretty, beautiful or gorgeous and it made me really sad. when i asked him why he did that he said that we barely knew each other. he also followed a bunch of girls and liked their bikini pictures. so i feel like he will do it again when i least expect it. so as of a year ago he has been sleeping super late and waking up late (around 2 or 3pm) so when i call him during my lunch break he won’t answer me. so i always wonder why and i start freaking out and thinking that he is cheating or talking to another girl that he is interested in. let me say that he has showed me his DMs and his likes on instagram and he is not doing anything wrong. i just however have a really hard time accepting it. so whenever i do get him on the phone i automatically say things like “you’re talking to someone aren’t you?” or “you’re interested in someone else aren’t you?” and he says “no” and the past few times he’ll say “geez your so insecure” or say “do you have anything else better to do than bother me?” or “are you finished? i have better things to do then be on the phone” it really hurts my feelings and i understand that my insecurities bother him, but he shouldn’t be so rude to me either. he’s never been rude to me before but he has been very rude recently. I don't know what to do about my insecurities and how to snap out of it.
so i’ve been dealing with insecurity for a long time and I don't know how to snap out of it. i freak out that my boyfriend is cheating on me whenever he doesn’t answer my phone calls. i feel like he has someone at his house or he’s talking to someone else or he is interested in someone else. i think i feel this way because in the past he has DMed a girl saying she was pretty, beautiful or gorgeous and it made me really sad. when i asked him why he did that he said that we barely knew each other. he also followed a bunch of girls and liked their bikini pictures. so i feel like he will do it again when i least expect it. so as of a year ago he has been sleeping super late and waking up late (around 2 or 3pm) so when i call him during my lunch break he won’t answer me. so i always wonder why and i start freaking out and thinking that he is cheating or talking to another girl that he is interested in. let me say that he has showed me his DMs and his likes on instagram and he is not doing anything wrong. i just however have a really hard time accepting it. so whenever i do get him on the phone i automatically say things like “you’re talking to someone aren’t you?” or “you’re interested in someone else aren’t you?” and he says “no” and the past few times he’ll say “geez your so insecure” or say “do you have anything else better to do than bother me?” or “are you finished? i have better things to do then be on the phone” it really hurts my feelings and i understand that my insecurities bother him, but he shouldn’t be so rude to me either. he’s never been rude to me before but he has been very rude recently. I don't know what to do about my insecurities and how to snap out of it.
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What does your boyfriend bring to your life? Do you find your relationship with him is peaceful? Does he lift your spirits up, support you, or cause you stress?
Unfortunately you have outlined an issue:
1) HE tries to blame YOU as being insecure, when your insecurities in this scenario derive from your boyfriend's actions, as he reached out and CHOSE to contact other women. Despite having a girlfriend.
2) Your insecurities are not the issue. You have reasons to feel the ways you do, to be questioning or assuming his actions as he has lead you to those very answers before, and openly admitted you were correct, he WAS granting other women attention and directly communicating with them.
This sounds like it's so much more stress than it has to be. You have tried to talk with your boyfriend, but ultimately he blames you for your insecurities being the issue, when infact it is how HE has chosen to act whilst in a relationship.
He doesn't even seem happy to receive phone calls from you. I don't know what you're dating this guy for if he clearly is so invested in reaching out to other women online, and ignoring YOU. A boyfriend is supposed to prioritize his girlfriend, be excited when she calls, ask about her day, as typical HEALTHY couples do.
Why are you with this guy?
She loves him, that’s why she’s still with the guy. It’s hard to realise you’re being gaslighted especially by your partner
@MsProsperity 100% exactly, I totally agree with you.
Similar story to mine. What I can tell you is that you don’t have insecurities, your boyfriend make you to be like this because in the beginning I’m sure you were not like this. He’s the problem not you. You just need assurances from him that you’re his only woman currently. Text me, we’ll talk more
Everyone deals with their own levels of insecurity. It’s important not to give into it blindly or to do something rash just because you’re experiencing a slump in your self esteem.
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