We have been talking for 3 years, we are friends, so he has been listening to my problems for 3 year like he was giving advices to me, he behaves well but does not flirt. I've never seen a man like this before
Because he likes you as a friend , and cares about you , 3 years is a long time , so he values your friendship with him. He likes giving you advice and wants to see you happy. If he didn’t like you as a friend , he wouldn’t be wasting his time with you. Now if he wants to be more than just friends ’ with you, that’s only something that you can try to figure out , or if you want him more than just friends? that again is only something you can figure out. Does he flirt with you? Does he say things to make you feel like he is hitting on you? If that’s the case , than he probably wants to be more than just friends with you does he tell you things like you are beautiful or does he make any sexual comments towards you? If so he probably wants more than just friendship with you , and he is just being cautious about crossing over any lines with you , cuz he isn’t really sure about how you feel about him. Some people have a hard time expressing their true feelings about someone, they are pretty much their own worst enemy , and do not have the courage to say what they really want to say. If he isn’t flirting with you or hinting to you , that he wants more with you , than he just likes you as a friend and nothing more. Opposite sex friends usually is a 50/50 chance on whether they just want friendship or they really want more than just friendship with you. Only you can figure that out. I have girl friends that I consider buddies , that I feel comfortable talking to , without any feelings of attraction towards them, they are just friends to me , but some of them wanted more than friendship with me , and sadly I didn’t feel the same about them. It happens more than we like to think it does. We aren’t mind readers , so we really don’t know what someone’s true intentions really are at times. Just the way it goes
But I made a big mistake.. I am sure he hates me now 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
I was jealous of him even though we were friends, look I swear I'm not in love with him, but he came to me and showed me how a girl was flirting with him and I felt bad, I was stupid and told him I was jealous of you, I felt so stupid, unfortunately I have such a toxic trait, I'm jealous I'm jealous of the people I love in my life, but he's my friend and he has the right to be happy. m He said to me: I did not compare you with that girl, I am coming and telling you because you are my friend and I trust you. But I felt bad as if he was showing off to me, I don't know The behavior I made was very stupid, I am ashamed
And then he asked:
are you on your period?
I said yes
He said:I guessed right, I knew
No, I don't want.. I am like that to everyone if I care,
I know it's toxic, but for example, when a close female friend of mine starts getting close to someone else, I feel bad.
I'm not in love with him, he's my friend but I cared about him, I don't have a father or brother figure in my life and I've always seen him as a man who guides me in my life, and when I see another girl flirting with him, it's like I lose him for a moment. I thought he wouldn't talk to me like he used to and I was jealous.
I get and see what you are saying , and sadly that’s something that usually occurs when a friend meets someone else and no longer invests their time into the friendship , why it’s important for you to focus on yourself and do things that make you happy , and do not depend on anyone else for your happiness. Friends come and go all the time , so all we can do is be happy for them and hope for the best of that ends up happening
Yes I agree, my behavior was toxic so I decided to focus on myself, everything in this life is temporary, we will meet people not all of them will stay in our lives forever I was just ashamed that I looked like hopelessly in love with him that day., like desperate girl, anyways 😂
We live and learn , none of us are perfect , and we can’t read each others’ minds , all we can do is treat people the same way we want to be treated in return , if someone chooses to treat you like shit? Treat them like shit or choose to Walk away, if someone wants to be your friend? It’s your choice , if you want to be their friend as well or not , if someone wants to be more than friends with you? That’s a question they need to ask you , and vice versa , if that question isn’t asked? There won’t be an answer period. Why it’s best to be honest with people about yourself , if someone can’t accept you for you , than they no longer have to waste their time with you , just move on. One thing I learned in life , is to just be yourself and accept yourself for who you are as a person. Surround yourself with people that accept you as a person , and distance yourself from all the ones that do not, they should mean nothing to you , Not everyone is going to like us and not everyone is going to love us. It’s your choice on who you choose and not to choose in your life , if your friend doesn’t want to be your friend anymore because you got jealous? , than guess what? He truly isn’t a friend , a true friend will accept your mistake and not make a big deal about it , they might tease ya and bust your chops about it but they won’t make a big deal about it. Every single one of us makes mistakes , and we all have a choice on whether you want to continue making that mistake? or choose to no longer make that mistake , it’s up to you , on what you choose to do. People come and go out of our lives , but the ones that actually love and care about you , will stay by your side no matter what , and that’s the people you should try to keep by your side as well. When you choose to get into a relationship with someone? That someone should be your top priority over everyone else in this world , the same way they should be doing for you. Do not settle for less , if you truly want
It might be hard to believe, but sometimes men see you as another human being and care about what's bothering you.
Is there a chance he secretly likes you? Maybe.
Is there a chance he just sees you as a friend? Of course.
Platonic friendships apply even to single men. Some women I'm friends with I couldn't imagine dating them, whether or not I find them attractive.
If you're really worried about it, try asking him in some way. If you want something more, let that be known also. Otherwise... I don't see a problem here.
Hopefully you two continue to be good friends. Let him know you appreciate him for his consistency. You don't have to say "thanks for not being weird," since that would just be awkward, unless you think he'll understand.
I am surprised because,
Because we're just online friends, and he never once complimented me or flirted with me. But there is a problem, I think I got very attached to him because I didn't have a male figure in my life, I mean, it's not love, no, I loved someone else and he already knew it, but then I broke up etc. Anyway, when I imagine this boy dating someone else, I feel bad, like I will lose my best friend.
Is it me, is there something wrong with me, I don't know how I should act, He came to me and told me that a girl was flirting with him and I felt bad, like I had completely lost him.
He said to me: This girl was complimenting me, then she found a boyfriend and never wrote to me again. And I felt bad too, felt like I was compared to that girl, I don't know
And he is surprised that I became sad
I don't know, I saw him as a brother who guided me in my life and I felt like I lost him.
That's not entirely uncommon. My best friend is a woman, and I feel like if I get into a relationship it would throw a wrench between us. Of course, there's much more to the story between us, but the "relationships ending friendships" thing isn't unheard of.
Sometimes that stuff happens. The new girlfriend may get jealous and tell him to stop seeing you as much. Or, maybe he'll be occupied with his romance and naturally have less time to spend on you. It takes emotional maturity between two adults to work through these potential problems and remain friends.
Unfortunately, you shouldn't keep him locked down just for yourself. If he finds love elsewhere, he deserves a chance at happiness. There's a possibility it will drive a wedge between you two, but also maybe not. Just be prepared either way.
You just seem protective of him and don't want to lose him. That's okay. I think you should probably find a way to ask "Hey, if you ever date someone, please don't forget about me. You're an important friend to me." or something like that.
Maybe, but I am always like that in my life, not just to him
We went to the hotel as a family, and a woman came to my father and the woman tried to chat with my father, I felt really bad, the woman literally tried to flirt with my father. I'm jealous of the people I care about in my life and I don't know if this is my weakness or a good thing.,
There's a fine balance between being protective and being possessive. Without really knowing you, I cannot make an accurate analysis.
It's normal to feel sad when you think the people close to you are going to be snatched away somehow. You may have a budding fear of abandonment?
People get into relationships sometimes, and unless you are trying to date them, you need to consider they might end up with someone eventually.
If this weighs on your mind too much, you may want to bring it up with a mental health practitioner like a therapist. Of course, that's not always so simple to make happen. You can research how you are feeling online, and see if anyone else has felt similarly to the way you do.
It's not a crime to care about the ones you are thankful to have in your life, just be mindful about how you react to things.
Yes I talked to him, I said what I feel, he said:we are friends that's why I was telling u , I did not want to make u sad
Then I suppose it's all good. The next time you're feeling confused regarding a close friend or loved one, figure out how to tell them what you're feeling. There's not much else you'll be able to do to get rid of that feeling.
Hope all goes well. Take care.
Do you ever talk about your problems You've had for three years?
You didn't say if he has problems as well.
So, bdo you ever talk about just regular stuff in between the problems you have?
Maybe he likes to play armchair psychiatrist with you to help you with your problems.
Or perhaps he likes regular conversations you have and that's what keeps his interest in you.
Umm because he is your friend? That is what friends do for each other. I don't see anything odd about that. It actually sounds pretty normal to me.
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There are some people that would listen knowing that others just need to vent. He could genuinely care and what to help out the goodness of his nature. You may also explain your problems in a way where it could make it easier for the listener to get involved and follow along. Which could be why he has been doing it for so long.
He's not a friend. No man is ever a woman's friend. He's too timid to tell you that he wants to date you.
Women need to stop this ploy of "he's just a friend" bs.
He said:I don't love u, we are online friends, we are not dating
And tbh he never flirted to me, he did not said any good thing to me, like other guys say: beautiful, etc
So, why he listens me, or talk to me?
I never said anything about love.
I mean, he did not flirt
Maybe he did in his own way, but you didn't notice. Not your fault.
Nope, he did not
He's the one saying "we're just friends" since we talking, or he says:I am not flirting with girls, bla bla, it's sin, maybe I will marry one day but I won't flirt
@PreferNot2Say So literally a billion men don’t want to be a woman’s friend? Like, all men in the world find a billion women attractive.
@Peridot25 Where are getting "a billion" from? But yes I'm saying that men are attracted to women physically and/or emotionally in lieu of platonic friendships. After all that's the way God created us all. Sometimes emotional attraction develops over time, but it's never a 100% "buddy" type of relationship. This doesn't only apply to men. It's also the same way with women.
As far as your "guy friends", they were attracted to you and too intimidated to be honest about it and hoped that it'd organically happen. You've also felt the same way about at least one of those guys.
The ploy of opposite sex friendships is based on human insecurities of being alone. It's a selfish act to believe otherwise.
Men you've dated know that your guy friends aren't being just your friend. Just like you know when his female friends want more. I know how men think better than you and you know how women think better than I do.
These "friendships" create an unnecessary strain on relationships. So when I guy you're dating says something about it, it's not cuz he's insecure. He knows that guy friend is going to do everything to undermine your relationship. Relationships already naturally come with their own struggles, so why add another unneeded struggle that we have control over? Better yet, just don't have these types of unneeded "friendships" to begin with.
This doesn't mean we have to be mean to one another. It just means there's a difference between being friendly to one another and actually being friends. Just cuz someone is friendly to a person, doesn't mean they are your friend.
@PreferNot2Say Actually my guy friends were pretty clear they don’t like me that way. They didn’t find me attractive. Also, I’ve never dated. And you’re absolutely right about the last part where you said just because someone is friendly doesn’t mean they want to be your friend.
Maybe he's just a genuinely good friend or person? Not everything has to have an ulterior motive.
Does he have a girl/wife/girlfriend?
If not... can it be that he's into you but you are sooooooooooooo focussed on your problems that maybe you've realised it?
Some guys won't make the first move... ever.
m As @Account says, it’s what people do for each other
As hard as it may be to believe, there are still people who just genuinely care about their fellow human.
They're rare, but they do exist.
It’s called being a good friend… don’t overcomplicate things.
Probably because he genuinely cares about you
My guess is he wants to have sex with you.
It might be something else, but like 95% chance he wants to bang you.
he probably doesn't have many friends so he has the time to listen to your problems even though he has no sexual intentions.
you rarley see a good man it means he cares about u
If he likes you, or is your friend, then absolutely. Otherwise, he might be nice and do it, but some people shouldn't have their time wasted
He is either just a good listener but their is a chance he likes you.
He is probably gay. Gay men usually make great friends for women.
You said it yourself, you are friends for years.
But , online
Yes. and? Friends are friends
Maybe he's gay and kind?
He is playing the long con maybe
Talking as in relationship or just conversations?
Because he's a good person.
Because he's a good dude.
He must like you.
He said , I don't love u, we are friends
Umm, I understand
I care about him too, I literally said this to him 😭
Noo.. but I mean,
Even online, he was someone I could tell everything to, and I got along well with him, we had an argument recently and he is important to me, I went and told him this and then I felt ashamed.
Because he will ignore me...
He will think I am easy girl
I don't know, I told him:u are important to me
I told everything I feel, because we had an argument, so I said everything I feel
And he treated like, I don't know I wish I did not said
I don't know,
We had a little argument and I acted like I am jealous, he might have thought that I love him
How is thinking someone is important making you 'easy?"
I don't know , some guys think like that
It's a friend... that is what a friend is lol
You’re cute. We like to help. It’s a turn on.
Because he wants to smash
$450/hour
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