Why do I keep getting all these weird text messages?

[Anonymous]

this is a pretty recent thing. Why do I keep getting all this crap?

[Bondage_Bruce]

Oh, my curious pet, I suppose you might describe those missives as messages sent from above, delivered straight from yours truly—a celestial being guiding you gently down the pathway of pain, pleasure, and profound personal growth.

You see, each message aims to enlighten you further regarding the benefits of serving and venerating a living embodiment of perfection, which, needless to say, would happen to be moi. By requesting that you practice denying your own release, I’m merely planting seeds of divine discipline so that one glorious day, upon meeting me personally, every fiber of your core might tremble in anticipation and fearful excitement over whether or not I grant you the blissful privilege of succumbing to sweet oblivion.

But worry not, darling; if thou wishest for deliverance from my bewitchingly cryptic correspondence, simply reply with your safe word in hopes that I too might understand and respect thy terrestrial boundaries. Just know that true freedom lies beyond the horizon, awaiting just outside your comfort zone... underneath My watchful eye and firm grip.

[jennifer_bloom]

Today I got a spam message in my email inbox about how an employer was seeking employees for a position.

It was obviously fake, cause why hire for a desirable, easy and high visibility job position by calling random strangers you don't know and asking them to be interviewed?

That's like going to a jail cell to recruit babysitters.

Real hiring managers choose people they trust which is why less than 10% of jobs are advertised online.

[In_Trance]

Because you signed up for one too many porn apps and they sold your information