What do guys think about this statement?

[Anonymous]

“If he wanted to, he would.” Do you guys believe in that? I've been thinking about reaching out to this guy I like, maybe even asking him out, lol. But sometimes I worry about getting rejected. Plus, if he thinks I’m attractive or if I’m his type, why doesn't he reach out first? I feel like guys aren't as afraid to make the first move as girls are."

[Lynx122]

It's a great way to stay single. There's this saying that for everything worth having you have to overpay for it. Like a house, you have to pay more than anyone else is willing or able to pay for it in that moment. But in return you get the house and other people don't. It's the same with a relationship you can do what other women would do and expect the guy to do all the work. Or you could put in more effort and maybe end up with a boyfriend. It's up to you but in todays times most men are not going to make the first move anymore.

[NamerOfStars]

Beliefs about hypo- and hyper- agency have shaped our society in some seriously negative ways. Probably some positive ones, too, if I'm honest, but the total human cost means it pretty much has to be a net negative.

Think of it this way: if "if he wanted to, he would" were true, would we have homeless people starving on the street?

[DishLady]

"... Why doesn't he reach out first?" because "If he wanted to, he would..."

[teamvic]

Hmm so a few things

Firstly I could flip that same logic on you, what if he's thinking, if she liked me she would go up to me

Also guys do get nervous. Just because it's the traditional thing to do doesn't mean people aren't afraid of ALSO getting rejected. Also the whole if he wanted to he would is very misleading

[Serkee]

I disagree with that statement. There have been plenty of times that I've wanted to ask a girl out, but didn't because I was afraid of being seen as a creep or making them uncomfortable. How would you respond to a guy if he asked that same exact question? He could be just as nervous and afraid of rejection as you are. Maybe even moreso.

[spartan55]

I think it's mostly a bullshit double standard. Maybe he wanted to but didn't because you have done literally nothing to show interest. (this is an example)