Am I being woke by telling my boyfriend we don't need to ask each other before posting pics on Instagram?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend recently asked if I'd ask him before posting pics on my Instagram, and I said no. He then asked me why, and that he'd always ask me before posting (he never posts pics, just stories). I then said it's really not necessary, and we can post pics without asking each other, and if either of us thinks something is wrong we'll talk about it. He then said I'm being "woke" and that this stuff creates insecurities. He then asked me to not post bikini pics or anything "revealing". He literally asked to change my profile pic once bcoz it showed my collarbones and I can " Look pretty but not sexy" in my pics. Am I being woke by saying that we don't have to ask each other every time before posting pics?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I don't think it's "woke" at all to say that about posting pics without permission. That sounds like regular healthy boundaries in a relationship to me!

You're right that unless something seems extra revealing or intimate, you shouldn't have to run every single selfie by him. That's controlling behavior on his part.

Him telling you how to dress or pose for your OWN account is outta line too. As long as you're not half naked, who cares what a normal pic shows!

Trust is the foundation of any good relationship. Him not trusting you to post a shoulder pic is a red flag, not you being "woke". Stand your ground on this girl! Don't let him police your social so much.

If a baecation pic bothers him that much, there's bigger issues under the surface y'all need to talk through. Protect your freedom and independence sis!

[Anonymous]

I’ll say this, there’s nothing cute, protective, loving or sexy about a man not only dictating what you do, but you allowing it. You don’t have to adopt all his ideologies or bend just because he snaps. Your integrity is much more important than being someone’s girlfriend.

[CrabCakes11]

How is not being controlled by an insecure little man “woke”. Your boyfriend is really controlling and weird. I think you should evaluate if you value yourself enough to leave him

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend has no idea what the word means. It's just some cliche word conservative people like to throw around about anything they can think of. He's just a controlling jealous and insecure type and it's not going to change. You have to decide how important your freedom to post what you want is versus how important he is. Don't expect him to change his mind about it though.

[SugarSugarplum]

It seems like you have to pick between being an attention-seeking thirst trap and a girlfriend.

[Danny_dan92]

Well said

[Asker]

Who is the attention seeking thirst trap?

[Danny_dan92]

That’s why girls post selfies. Most don’t like to admit it. But it’s true. They like to feel they’re desired. Even when in relationships, I dated girls like this. So I know

[HelpfulWoman]

he's using "being woke" as a way to try to demine your decisions.
easy skip for him!

[ginsephora]

Tbh just do whatever u feel like and he actually loved u and was a secure person he would never ever try to control you

[Danny_dan92]

He clearly doesn’t know what woke means

[DishLady]

Nope.