What does it mean when a guy subtly lets you know that he’s sleeping with other women?

[Anonymous]

We aren’t in a relationship but I don’t understand why he would want to do that

[OlderAndWiser]

If you have sex with a guy without any commitment of being exclusive, doesn't that mean that he - and you - are free to have sex with other people? So why should you feel "jealous and a bit hurt?" He may care about you and respect you - to a certain extent - but you have told him that doing this is okay.

Maybe you need to rethink getting into casual sexual relationships, because it sounds like you want to be the only girl for a guy (and that's quite alright. It's what MANY people want.) You just need to be honest with yourself, then be upfront and tell this to a guy early in the relationship, and then keep your panties on until you know that you have a commitment from your partner.

Learn a lesson from this experience and it will not be a wasted relationship.

[Asker]

Well no we never slept together and he said that he was scared to sleep with me because I would be crazier. Which definitely hurt my feelings

But he wanted to know when I was last intimate but when I asked him he was avoiding the question, looking away and smirking ect…

I really liked him and thought maybe we could have been a thing… this all took place on a date

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay, got it. Sounds like - at most - this guy maybe wants to keep you around as his backup plan. Is that accurate?

[Asker]

Possibly and that hurts a lot but he did ghost me after the date and I told him what he’s doing hurts so he called me and ended things a bit properly.. he basically said he doesn’t want to invest his time if we weren’t going to be intimate eventually and he said some other stuff like I hope you find a man that can love you the way you want/ need

I was crying lol bc I liked him a lot.

[MrOracle]

He's essentially telling you that he has options, and that he doesn't intent to stop excercising his options, so you can either be okay with that, or you can move on. If you decide to get with him, then you can't be mad later if he's still seeing other women.

Personally, I don't mess around with more than one person at a time and I don't recommend that anyone does, but he clearly lives a different lifestyle and has different values, but he's at least being up-front about it so that you can make an informed decision. I *strongly* recommend that you evaluate this information against your own morals and values and decide accordingly, and, again, if you decide to sleep with this man, you cannot be upset later on if he's still sleeping with other women. He told you who he was before anything happened, so if you don't like it after the fact, you only have yourself to blame.

[Anonymous]

He's just being transparent and managing your expectations.

[Asker]

He’s a jerk. No guy who actually values you and likes you would do that

[Opinion Owner]

He's a jerk for being honest with you? Um, ok.

[Asker]

No, he wasn’t honest. Being honest is being direct and communicating like a man not playing games.

[Opinion Owner]

How was he playing games by being transparent about sleeping with other women?

I'm starting to get the impression you're just jealous.

[Asker]

I was jealous. I won’t deny.

He asked me when I was last intimate and I told him. I ask him and he just smirks, looks away and laughs low. He avoids questions that deal with others or his “roster “…..

He would take hours to reply then take a couple days to text back…

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, sounds like maybe he is a jerk. Don't give him the satisfaction of you being on his "roster".

[Ευδεμονια]

I think honestly, if you two aren’t in a relationship, he just wants you to know he being open to a relation with other people.
He lives freely his life, maybe he just wants to tease a bit you to see if you’re jealous about it or if you show an attachment.

[Asker]

Yeah I was jealous and a bit hurt… because now I feel like he doesn’t really care or respect me. He said he was scared to sleep with me.

[Ευδεμονια]

What does it mean he was scared to sleep with you? Seems you two have to talk a bit about it… if he wants to make you jealous maybe he’s starting developing some more deep sentiment or just wants to test you. I can feel you felt hurt, but you two are not committed so he doesn’t owe you loyalty… or at least, if you think so, maybe you have to tell him about it.
I think the healthier way to solve this is a bit of confront

[Asker]

I just don’t think a guy who values you or likes you would make you feel that way. I don’t want to feel that way and I liked him a lot because I felt like he was good at communicating. In the beginning I had my guard up and he never pressured me or love bombed me

I told him I was protecting my emotional and mental well being and he asked me what’s the safest way to interact with me.. so I felt I was starting to get attached just for him to change on me in the date

Maybe he wasn’t really attracted to me.

[Ευδεμονια]

It sure is impolite and very rude of him presenting himself as someone capable of hearing you and then becoming the one saying those things and behaving like your relationship and your feelings were nothing to him. Sorry if I misread your story, simply I understood you two had a simple friendship with benefits and I didn’t knew there were sentiments involved especially by your side. At this point I think it safer for you to detach from him since seems more he’s interested in “leisure activities” than other for what concerns you…

[Asker]

Yeah it hurt bad. We didn’t have a friends with benefits. He probably already had a girlfriend I don't know

I just want to send him one last text

[Ευδεμονια]

Yes I understand now, sorry for misreading.
I can relate, it hurt since he showed a different self from the one you knew. And a different and disrespectful.

Give him a goodbye, you’ll find a better person forward.

[Asker]

After 6 months I still feel sad… do you think I should send one more text? Or …

[Ευδεμονια]

Sure it is something difficult to assimilate and you need time. I honestly suggest you to avoid texting, now I have the complete frame of the thing. It happened time ago, but I don’t think it’s the case to give him the satisfaction of thinking “she’s still thinking about me”. He doesn’t deserve your energy and your time anymore

[Asker]

Okay 😔

[RedInnocent69]

Going out on a limb, but he could also be making to make himself seem more desirable, like everyone else wants me, why don’t you? Sometimes it’s easier to get a girl when you already have one. Girls are competitive that way.

[Asker]

I think he had someone all along idk… but I did desire him. I really wanted to be with him and I was depressed when we stopped talking… but he said he didn’t want to sleep with me because he was scared I’ll be crazier

[RavVid]

Having lots of sex with many women is one of man's favorite things.

He does it because he can

[spartan55]

How is 'subtly letting you know'?

[Asker]

Smirking, avoiding certain questions and looking away

His actions before kind of let me know but I wasn’t sure…. going hours without texting back, taking a couple days to reply

[spartan55]

So, in your mind that means he is hinting that he is sleeping with you other women? That's a pretty giant leap based on no evidence.

[Asker]

I mean yes. Actions speak louder than words

[spartan55]

His actions certainly don't point to him sleeping with other women. I should have known who this was.

[Asker]

Whatever you say. He’s a jerk either way

[spartan55]

Yeah right, and you had nothing to do with it, right?

[Asker]

I don’t understand what him only wanting to sleep with me has anything to do with this

[Alex-Snow]

At least he is being honest but it is time to dump him unless it is ok with you for him to sleep around

[OddBeMe]

Shrug…either he sees you as a friend to talk about the pussy he’s pounding…or he thinks you’d get off on that idea. Either way he’s an idiot. Move on.

[noohair]

It is male ego bragging, and very immature too.

[kareka]

He wanna sleep with u

[Asker]

Why if he’s letting me know that he’s getting it elsewhere?

[Asker]

I don’t understand then he said he was scared to because he was scared I would get “crazy”

[kareka]

Cuz he just want sex not relation

[Asker]

I had already set a boundary with him in the beginning. I said I wasn’t looking for sex , casual or a relationship

I thought he respected that and wanted more

He’s a sexual predator

[Asker]

He should have been with his other options and just ended things before the date.

[spartan55]

@asker He's not. You are creating false details to manufacture blame for him. Why don't you tell this entire thread what REALLY happened. What YOU did. Of course you won't because you know it was unhinged crazy.

[spartan55]

He's not a sexual predator any more than you are a serial bank robber.

[Asker]

What did I do unhinged/ crazy?

Deceiving someone for sex is a predator

[spartan55]

Share the WHOLE story or stop posting about this every damn day.

[spartan55]

That would require accountability... tf am I thinking?

[Asker]

Relax, I haven’t posted in a month. I don’t have to tell the whole story. You weren’t there.

Stop dick riding a man you never met.

[kareka]

Im sure he wanted it
And teasing u by having with other or how much others like him

[spartan55]

You haven't posted in a month? Maybe on this account. Stop lying. I don't have to be there to know the story... what kind of argument is that?
And just so you understand and stop making shit up: my post is not defending the guy, don't care about him... You don't have to tell the story, which is true. So just keep lying...😂

[Asker]

He definitely did!

He asked me when I was last intimate and I told him 1 year… I ask him and he just smirks, looks away and does a low laugh

[Asker]

You tell it then… since you know the whole story. Don’t leave anything out

[kareka]

Im sure he want..
We use this way sometimes but he have did some wrong in it lol..
by the way i think spartan jumped in my comment by mistake...
If u wanna follow me to talk more about it u are welcome ^_^

[Asker]

He’s mad at me because he thinks I’m not telling the whole story.. there are different parts to it

[spartan55]

I'm not mad at anyone... geez make some more shit up.
Why would I tell YOUR story? So ridiculous.