How do I get him to understand where I'm coming from?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend overzealously quit his full-time job last month to pursue his photography hobby as a job. That hasn't been working out. I've been left as the sole financial provider and I'm limited to working only a few days a week because those are the only days that I have guaranteed childcare. He won't watch them. I'm already stressed out as heck with that.

Anyways last night he said that he was going out to put up yard signs to advertise his photography business. He disappeared for 3 1/2 hours. I already have trust issues because of him lying about his sexual orientation (he was secretly bi until I caught him messaging another men sexual things). I was worried that maybe something bad happened or that he was cheating. I've been trying to rebuild my trust in him but he didn't bother to text or call me at all. It wasn't until he was 2 minutes away did he finally call me to say that he had been out driving around, putting up signs the whole time. I don't believe him because he only had 2 signs. It's not like we live in a rural area where everything is a far drive. He doesn't understand why I'm upset with him.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl, that is so stressful dealing with all that drama! I totally get why you don't trust him after lying about stuff before. And putting even more financial pressure on you by quitting randomly is so not cool.

If I were you, I'd try sitting him down when you're both calm and laying it all out clearly. Say something like "boyfriend, I care about you but I'm at my limit here. Disappearing for hours without contact really worried me, and after last time I don't believe the sign story. I need honesty to rebuild trust."

Then be specific about what you need - like open communication when he's out, checking in every so often so you don't stress. And that you both need to find a realistic financial solution ASAP before you burn out. Come at it from a place of caring, not attacking.

If he gets defensive, say you're just trying to have a productive talk to strengthen your relationship. But if he won't listen or takes no accountability, you may need to rethink things sadly. You deserve a partner who supports you emotionally and financially, not adds extra weight! Stay strong, you got this sis.

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like you so why do you keep talking?

[Anonymous]

Talking is key