Boyfriend is mad at me. How do I resolve it and obtain forgiveness?

[Anonymous]

I accidentally opened a message on my boyfriend's phone. I was borrowing his phone and my finger accidentally tapped it when it popped up, so it opened. I was afraid he'd get mad at me for "snooping", so I just deleted the text. I thought he wouldn't find out. SOMEHOW he did. He somehow knew I deleted it and emptied the trash file to cover it. Now, he's furious with me, calling me a liar and saying I deleted stuff from his phone on purpose.

I told him I was sorry and should have just left it instead of deleting it. I told him I only deleted it because I was afraid he'd accuse me of snooping and purposely reading his messages (he's accused me of "snooping" before when I haven't). I told him I had accidentally opened the message and knew I couldn't make it new again, so I panicked and just deleted it. He said he knew all about it so it didn't matter. Just that I lied and didn't say anything about it.

He doesn't seem to believe it was an accident and I knew I was wrong and shouldn't have just deleted it. I should have kept it there and just told him sorry, but I accidentally tapped this when it popped up, promise I wasn't snooping. But he is still really mad.

What can I do to fix this?

Updates

1 y

by the way - the message was not important. It was harmless. I just got nervous he'd accuse me of snooping again and get mad at me, so I freaked out and deleted it like an idiot. I never knew he'd find that if I deleted it and cleared the trash file. How could he discover that info? I thought deleted messages on text were gone.

[DishLady]

It's an invasion of privacy and not your place to mess with his phone... you know that, right? It's not an accident to go ahead and delete stuff off another person's phone...

[Asker]

I had permission to borrow it. I thought he'd be mad to see the text read, so I deleted it. I know that was wrong and I apologized for it.

[spartan55]

Hahaha... an accident my ass. Why should anyone believe you? You sound like the type that thinks if you say it then it must be true. Hopefully your boyfriend has a brain and a spine and gets rid of you.

[Asker]

It was an accident that I opened it. It just wasn't an accident I deleted it and tried to avoid letting him know I accidentally read it. I should have just left it and told him I accidentally tapped it.

[spartan55]

Yep, the cover up is usually worse than the crime.

[Asker]

Yep, I know that and feel bad. He left me over it. I understand him being upset. But I did not do it for a malicious reason. It came up when I was clearing the upcoming alarm and my finger tapped it. I was afraid he was going to be mad I read it (I didn't even READ it but it would SHOW it was read). I just deleted it because I was afraid he'd say I just wanted to borrow his phone to snoop and that wasn't true.

I apologized, said going forward I'd just be honest about whatever happened even if he may be mad and also said I'd never borrow his phone again. He still didn't want anything to do with it and left. I feel bad and hate that I caused this. I'm hoping he will come around eventually and be willing to forgive me and move past it.

[jahaims]

You are both too immature for a healthy relationship

[kylee2437]

Did he give you permission to borrow his phone? There’s lots of details missing here

[Asker]

Yes he did

[kylee2437]

So then communicate next time “hey , I accidentally opened up one of your messages, I’m going to give you , your phone now so you don’t end up missing this text” perhaps there’s some huge communication problems and trust issues in this relationship

[Asker]

I plan to. I told him I would too. I told him I was sorry and that was dumb. I should have just said hey sorry, I accidentally opened this. I was just afraid if he saw I opened it, he'd be mad and say I was snooping. It was harmless. It came up as a notification and I tried to get rid of the notification and my finger accidentally hit it instead and it opened. I thought deleting it would hide the fact that I opened it. But he somehow knew I deleted it and I kind of don't see how. I thought deleted texts were deleted for good and you couldn't see them.

[EmmaMary]

There's no such thing as "Accidentally". smh

[Asker]

Yeah there is. It popped up while I was using it. I tried to swipe the notification away to get it off the screen and it accidentally opened it. I DID delete it on purpose. It was stupid, but as I mentioned - I was afraid he'd say I snooped again. I had permission to use his phone and I did not snoop. Again, the message was not even "important". He thinks I read and deleted it on purpose. I didn't. I opened it by accident and I deleted it because I was afraid he'd say I snooped.

[EmmaMary]

"It Just POPPED UP"... Of course it did! lol

Do you honestly think for one moment that anyone is going to believe a single word of all this complete and utter nonsense?

I just don't simply buy it... Sorry.

[Asker]

Messages pop up whenever they are sent. I was using it and the new message popped up. I went to swipe it away and it tapped open. It happens. It's a touch-screen device.

[spartan55]

@asker
Just stop insulting everyone's intelligence. You act like it's our second day here or something.

[Anonymous]

I guarantee it wasn't an accident.