Were in a long distance relationship without a title?

[Anonymous]

We met this past weekend but he hasn't changed his status to in a relationship on fb and I uploaded a photo of us on my timeline and tagged him but it doesn't show up on his timeline either but he liked my post. Is this not good?

[MrOracle]

This is exactly why no one should ever get into a LDR in the first place, and also why you need to set boundaries and expectations up-front, so that you don't have to guess at your relationship status.

Obviously I know none of the details of your relationship or how it came to be, but the POINT of a relationship is to spend time PHYICALLY TOGETHER so that you can share your lives with each other, and you cannot do that long-distance. This is why you should always DATE LOCALLY.

Lots of people are using the Internet to try to broaden their pool of prospective partners by considering people who are long distance - thinking that they can get a "better" partner this way than they can get locally. But that's almost always a lie, because they forget to factor in the SITUATION. Even if that person is better on paper, the situation (being long distance and ALL of the stresses that adds to the relationship) makes them worse.

Look at you: you're in the early stages of your relationship and you're already upset and miserable about the situation. That's a direct result of your decision to date long distance.

None of us can tell you why he's not updated his Facebook, but the real problem here isn't his Facebook, it's that you're insecure about the relationship, because you can spend such little time with him. And you are right to be concerned - that's going to be a problem and it's going to get worse over time, because the longer you are together, the harder it will be to be physically apart - harder on the relationship specifically. That's why nearly all LDRs fail as a direct result of the distance.

I'm not being mean here, I'm trying to get you to open your eyes and admit the truth to yourself, because it's your own choices that have brought you here. And if it wasn't his FB status, it would have been something else, because with LDRs, it's always something.

Do yourself a favor and end this, and find a LOCAL man who you can see 3-4 times a week (maybe more) with little effort, and you'll be much, MUCH happier - even if you have to pick a guy who isn't as handsome or as successful or whatever. Those things matter far less in a real relationship, and being able to spend time in person matters far more.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is kind of weird that he hasn't changed his status or shared the photo on his timeline. As a girl, I'd probably be a little bit unsure of where things stand in that situation too.

A few things it could mean:

- He's not very publicly affectionate on social media and doesn't like updating his relationship status right away. Some guys are more private like that.

- Because it's long distance, he may not feel comfortable committing completely until you've spent more real-life time together. The distance makes it harder to fully define.

- He could be unsure himself of how serious it is yet and doesn't want to mislead people by changing his status before talking to you.

My advice would be to just casually bring it up in conversation - something like "I noticed my post didn't appear on your timeline, do you prefer keeping your social media more low-key?" His response will tell you a lot. Don't accuse him, just communicate openly how you're feeling.

If he reassures you that he's really into you but wants to take it slow changing status online, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt for now. But pay attention to how he acts otherwise - is he still putting in effort with calls/texts? His actions will show his intentions better than social media sometimes. Keep me posted on how it goes!

[Nikki1989]

It is NOT a relationship. You are just online acquaintances at best.

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[serious]

That is very strange. Yes

[In_Trance]

This is lame