Less communication after…?

[sweetslp]

I’ve known a guy for almost a year and we recently started talking again. When we first started messaging again, he’d message me back consistently throughout the day and typically until around 11:30pm. Not too many breaks in texting. Over the weekend, we were intimate for the first time. Now, … texting has slowed. A lot. We’ve messaged around 5-7x/day (shorter, one-line texts) over the past two days, and he doesn’t reply past like 9:30pm anymore. So obviously, this is triggering anxiety in me because it’s such a dramatic shift. When I saw him over the weekend, he was saying how “men are simple” and how he’s a “nonchalant guy.” But my mind is racing. Did he get what he wanted and is slow-fading/ghosting? Did the PNC hit? Or Is he just not as concerned with texting me so much because he feels like he has me already? And most importantly, do I say something?
Update: I tried to subtly bring it up because I knew I wanted to at least have a conversation before I’d see him in person again. He said how things are better, not worse and was surprised that I was stressing. He basically said “don’t overthink it” (if he’s still interested etc). So I don't know what to think.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl I get why you're stressing - it's never fun when communication with a guy cools off after being intimate. But try not to freak yourself out yet either! A few thoughts:

- He could be backing off texting more just cause you took that next step and he feelssecure now butnot trying to seem overeager. Guys can be weird that way.

- Or he may be giving you space to process things since it was a big moment. Not every guy acts the same right after.

- His "men are simple" line shows he probably isn't overanalyzing it like we girls tend to!

Him saying not to stress is a good sign I think. Maybe just be straight up next time you see him - let him know intimacy is new so you're feeling vulnerable, but trust he likes you. Give it another date or two and see how he acts. If he's still into you in person that's what matters most! Try to relax til you see him, easier said than done I know. But don't read into texts too much, his actions will tell more. Hope this helps sis! LMK if you need anything else 💕

[spartan55]

You would do yourself a big service by not texting at all with this guy. Yes I'm being serious. If you are interested in my logic, I will expand.

[sweetslp]

Definitely expand please!

[spartan55]

Okay, you have spent time together in person, face to face. This is hands down the best way to get to truly know someone. Spend as much time together as you both agree on. Enjoy different activities, hobbies, etc together. Now if you bring texting into it you are just slowly choking the life out of whatever it is you have. This idea that everyone needs to be available by text at all times is ridiculous, and creates unnecessary expectations.

[sweetslp]

I completely agree with you! Getting to know each other in person is much better. Do you by any chance have an opinion on how he said “don’t overthink it” when I mentioned if he’s still interested?

[spartan55]

It means you shouldn't be asking things like that at this point, and have fun getting to know each other.

[noohair]

Men used to have to make a commitment to a woman for sex. It was usually courtship and marriage. Women wanted freedom and equality. This is what freedom and equality looks like.