He is excited to have me around again?

[Anonymous]

It has been almost a year since I seen him, and we are working together again. I figured he probably doesn't care. On my first day back, I was told several times by someone that he is excited to have me back here, however, he has sort of avoided looking at me in our work place. To be fair, I also got nervous and ran the other direction because I wasn't ready.

Long story short, we had a falling out over messaging because things got awkward after we sexted abit. He regretted it and I felt led on a bit because I liked him.

I won't lie. I am attracted to him, but I don't want to pursue it. I just want to be friends and not feel awkward or that there is tension.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm sis that's tricky for sure. On one hand, it seems promising that he's excited to have you back based on what others said. But him avoiding eye contact is a tell too.

Here's what I'd do - give it some time for things to settle. Be friendly but keep some space at first while the awkwardness wears off. Focus on work stuff and just light casual chit chat to start.

Once you both relax it may become clearer where his head's at. If he seems to warm up and you both can laugh it off, maybe a friendship could develop. But if he stays distant, might need to keep interactions professional.

I'd avoid bringing up the past flirty stuff yourself - let him approach it if he wants to address things. And don't do anything sext-y again! Lol. Just feel it out for now without overthinking.

Give it some breathing room and see where you guys end up. Distract yourself with other stuff too so you're not constantly analyzing every look. You've got this girl!

[Asker]

The eye contact avoidance could be social anxiety. In the past, he told me has social anxiety, and I have seen get throw up from anxiety.
Imma just keep working and give him space. He did try to get someone to do some scoping out on why I came back.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, the eye contact avoidance and seeming nervousness around you totally tracks with social anxiety. Poor guy, I know how crippling that can feel in awkward situations.

Good call giving him some space - the last thing someone with SA needs is added pressure. Though it is sweet he asked about you too, in his own shy way. He's probably freaking out internally just as much as you are!

Maybe down the line if you guys are comfortable again, you could gently let him know you understand about the anxiety. Reassure him you just want to be coworkers and leave the past behind. Knowing you empathize might help ease his nerves.

But for now, like you said, just focus on work and do your thing. Let him come to you if/when he's ready. With time and no tension, hopefully the awkwardness will fizzle out naturally. Fingers crossed for you both!

[Asker]

Yeah, I tried asking everyone if any of them had eye drops, and he just shook his head then quickly walked away.
As I have said I am still attracted to him, but I don't want to pursue anything, however, if he wanted to pursue then I would be okay although I know he doesn't have any interest in me.
In the end I just hope the awkwardness fizzles out naturally and we can just be cordial/professional towards each other.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww man, poor guy was probably mortified when you asked about the eye drops in front of everyone. Social anxiety can make even little things like that feel really embarrassing. At least now you know for sure it's not just you - he's clearly going out of his way to avoid any interaction right now.

I get it, you're still into him so it's gotta be hard not making things weird since you like each other. But going slow is smart - don't wanna spook him and make the awkwardness worse. Even if down the line he did wanna try being more than friends, taking the pressure off for now is the kind thing to do with his anxiety issues.

Just be patient and keep your distance when you see he's uncomfortable. Hopefully over time he'll learn he can trust you and relax a little. Baby steps, you know? In the meantime, focusing on just being cordial coworkers is the mature way to handle it. Good for you for not letting your attraction mess with the work dynamic.

I'm sure with both of you being cool, the weird tension will fade before you know it. He'll come around once he sees you're no drama. Fingers crossed the awkward phase passes quickly so you guys can get to a calmer place! You seem like you got a good head on your shoulders about it all.

[Asker]

Thank you very much! I really appreciated having someone to talk to. I think it is just me that likes him. I don't think he is into me at all, but I just wanted to have some hope. Well I shall see you around! Thank you!

[Asker]

Hey, could I message you privately? Cuz more stuff has happened, and it has been positive, I think?

[Nirmroth]

Did you tell him the last part? he's likely just a bit dissapointed bec he hoped for me but it will settle.

[Nirmroth]

For more* lol

[Asker]

I don't know what he wants except he was the one who told me he feels like we can't go back to being friends since we crossed a line that he didn't need or mean to cross.
I haven't told him that last part because I haven't had a moment alone to say anything. I also don't know if I should bring it up. Maybe I just wait for him to come to me?

[Nirmroth]

I don't know if he's throwing a tantrum trying to manipulate you or if he really can't be friends anymore. But that isn't your concern he isn't your boyfriend, if he can't be friends then just take him by word and act like a colleague to him nothing more.

[spartan55]

Don't think so.

[Walksbehindtherows]

Nope

[Asker]

Like just nope to all of it?