What do you call a guy that twists the truth and actually believes it?

[Anonymous]

So it’s a little complicated, I have been friends with this guy since 15, we are now 34. We have always been close but ended moving to different countries in 2010, we lost contact and got into relationships and then reconnected while both recently single in 2016.

we began getting close again, with messaging and phone calls daily. We ovbiously lived long distance from each other, but I went to him and he came to me every 6 months. We would always have date like nights, sex and lots of affection. We was never technically together but I often told him I loved him. Granted, he never said it back as such, but I always felt he cared at the very least.

anyway, I unexpectedly got pregnant, I didn’t keep the baby and he didn’t help. I know he was far away but I felt he didn’t even do the bare minimum, and from there rifts in our friendship began. We moved past the abortion, though I still carry a lot of hurt from it, and we got back to our usually selves. We continued as we always did though took extra precautions when having sex.

around 8 months ago I asked to see him, I said I’d book a flight even though it was his turn to see me but he didn’t seem up for it; and brushed me off. I felt hurt and I distanced myself from him for a month or two hoping he’ll initiate communication and say he’s missed me, he never did. Since then we have spoke very little, and today spoke for the first time. Only he has completely lied about that happened between us, he says he got scared when I got pregnant and didn’t think having sex would be a good idea again; that he lost trust for me as I know he doesn’t want children. This is true, I apologised for the pregnancy and aborted the baby against my wishes but we’ve been fine and had sex since then. It’s out of nowhere he’s changed towards me, the pregnancy was 2 years ago yet he’s acting like it was last week using it as an excuse to cut ties with me. I feel he believes what he’s saying and can’t seem to remember the past few years.

[_Maya_]

I'm sorry but what is he lying about? I can't really tell what you believe he is lying about. I read through it twice and as far as I can tell the issue really lies here:

"he says he got scared when I got pregnant and didn’t think having sex would be a good idea again"

I don't know how that is a lie. That is what you started with right after you said he lied. How is that a lie or am I missing something here. Of course he was scared because you also point out that he doesn't want children. Now there are certainly things you two could be doing to remedy the situation like either get on the pill or another contraceptive or use condoms. That solves (for the most part) the safety issue. I just don't know what you are considering a lie.

[Asker]

He’s lied because since the pregnancy scare two years ago, he was fine with me. We have continued having sex and seeing each other for the past year and a half since the pregnancy, yet suddenly out of no where he tells me it’s not a good idea because the pregnancy scared him….

[_Maya_]

Oh oh! Now I get it. Thanks for clarifying. So here is one possible scenario and what sadly is likely. He's seeing someone else and this is his easy out. He's using something from the past that is legit as an excuse. Does that seem possible given you two don't live near each other?

[Asker]

Yes that’s what I’ve been thinking, which is hurtful because after everything I would have always thought he’d be honest with me and I’m really upset he’s being the trauma of the abortion up as an excuse and completely refusing to acknowledge we have been intimate since. It feels horrible but I guess he’s not who I thought he was.

[Asker]

Bringing *

[_Maya_]

Honestly, it is the vibe I'm getting from your situation. Sucks

[spartan55]

@asker
The trauma of the abortion that he had nothing to do with?

[Asker]

@spartan55 yes the trauma for me, it obviously caused no trauma for him. But I was annoyed he bought it up as a reason for us to finish

[spartan55]

@asker wow, I would never have the audacity to mention the abortion, he is a piece of work. Seems dumb as shit anyway. You're better off.

[spartan55]

Wtf? How is it all your fault you got pregnant? He sounds like a turd of the highest order. Your judgement and self esteem are poor as well.

[Yannae]

I don't know if there is a term for that, but a liar for sure.

[Wise4myage]

He’s not to be trusted.

[jahaims]

Mentally ill

[Intheclouds00]

A Narcissist

[CubaPirate]

Deluded