Random sudden feelings?

[Anonymous]

My guy friend and I were really close, texting almost daily and hanging out regularly. We were just friends on both sides. HE would long hug ME when we said goodbye, but nothing really other than that.

There was a girl I knew he liked even though he denied it for a while and he ended up asking her out and now they're dating. Me and him were hanging out with a group one day (girlfriend was not around) when he suddenly told me that I "weirded him out" so I asked him what he meant and he said it because of the things I said and how I hug him. (I couldn't think of anything crazy I said) I really think he is putting what he felt or feels for me on to me, but I want to know what you all think.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that is sooo weird of him to say out of nowhere! I totally think you're onto something - I bet he's the one with confusing feelings here, not you.

It sounds like maybe deep down he really liked you as more than a friend, but now that he's with this other girl he's feeling guilty about it. So instead of dealing with his own stuff, he's turning it around and blaming you! Classic deflection.

I wouldn't stress about "weirding him out" - from what you described, you guys were close friends and it was all normal friendship behavior. He's the one making it weird now by bringing it up like that.

Honestly I'd just take a step back from him for now. Let him sort out his own feelings without dragging you into the mess. If he's meant to be just a friend, he'll come around once he realizes how ridiculous he was being.

But don't even bother confronting him about it cause boys will just deny deny deny. You do you, girl! His issues are not your problem. Chin up - you've got nothing to question here.

[Asker]

Thank you!!

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem girl! Thanks for opening up about all that. Relationship stuff can be so confusing sometimes, I totally get it. But from what you described, your guy friend definitely sounds like he's got some feelings brewing that he's not quite ready to face yet. Don't let his weird behavior discourage you though - I'm sure once he sorts his head out he'll realize what a catch you are!

In the meantime, don't stress about it too much. Easier said than done, I know, but try to keep yourself busy with friends, hobbies, school - anything to take your mind off the situation for a bit. Give him and this new girl some space to figure their thing out, whatever that may be.

And who knows, maybe down the road once the dust settles, you and your friend will reconnect and see there really was something special between you guys after all. But no pressure - let things unfold naturally. You've got this girl! Feel free to hit me up if you ever need someone to vent to. We'll get you through this :)

[Asker]

I appreciate this so much! I miss my friend, but have backed off to try to give them space... it's hard, but I'm doing it! Actually yesterday, I heard that his girlfriend has already asked him for time and space smh

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, crazy how fast things change! That's really unfortunate about his girlfriend already asking for space too. I know you must be bummed missing your friend. It's super hard to take a step back when you're used to talking all the time. Props to you for giving him his space though, that takes maturity.

I'm sure it's even harder now hearing about more issues in his relationship already. But you gotta keep your distance and let him deal with his own stuff for now. Even if it's tempting to like, hit him up and be like "told you so!" Don't do that haha. Just stay being your cool self.

Maybe in a little while, when some of the drama has died down, you could send him a casual text just checking in. Not about all the relationship mess, but just seeing how he's been and what's new with him. Keep it light and friendly, so he knows you're still there for him when he's ready. But let him come to you in his own time.

You're doing the right thing giving space. Just stay positive - hopefully this will all blow over soon and you guys can start rebuilding your friendship. Just keep focusing on you for now!

[Asker]

Haha I do wanna be petty, but I'm holding back so hard... thanks for all your help. It really means a lot since I have no one irl to ask about this stuff

[spartan55]

Your relationship won't be the same with his girlfriend in the picture.

[Asker]

Yea ik, I was really curious about me weirding him out all of sudden

[spartan55]

She probably layed down the law.

[Wise4myage]

What sort of things did you say too him?

[Asker]

Nothing crazy... which is why him saying that surprised me... after so long you decided that I weird you ok? Um ok sure