Do you think it's normal that my boyfriend ignores me when I cry?

[Anonymous]

We were sitting at his house, I had been crying for a while and he didn't even look up from his phone. When I asked him why he didn't care, he just shrugged and said, "You're being dramatic." It bothered me. I just wanted some support.

[genericname85]

have you tried direct communication? it works a treat with men. like if you want him to hug you, tell him "can i get a hug please" instead of sitting in the corner crying and moping cause he's not coming by himself to hug you.

like you may think this in your head but from the outside it's not clear what a person wants you to do and what's going on in their head. i know in your head you're thinking "but i'm crying, comforting and hugging is the correct response to that" but you gotta consider that is your view in that moment. not everyone elses view that sees this from the outside.

[ohsheeT]

Look at if you create drama to get attention you're never going to get it why don't you just be real walk over to him sit down on his lap and say hold me I've had a bad day don't go to all the extremes don't go to all the drama this bull crap because we know it's bull crap and that's when we don't want anything to do with you when you're trying to fake us out be real you've had a bad day say I've had a bad day

[Rosexøxø]

He doesn’t care.. you’re not the woman for him. And VICE VERSA for sure. But guys only give their best to the ONE ☝️ lady they actually fall in love with. The rest are just nice women to be around, talk to AT TIMES, and certainly be sexual with. Apologies.

[alice55]

I think it's not normal but my mom is the exact same ways when I cry she just tell me to stop being a drama queen and to do "something productive for once"...

[KostasKouvalis]

I'm so sorry :( That's so rude. Why do you cry?

[alice55]

@KostasKouvalis Last time she told me this I cried for I don't know which reasons but she was being a bitch all day screamming at me, my cat was sick and she had beat me up in the morning, she literally broke down my door even though I tried to block it with a chair in front of it just to beat me. My arms were completely covered in bruise hand mark as she tried to take me off my room while I was trying to block it.
I think I was just crying because I told her she shouldn't use her phone while driving because she would get a fine (and she always complain about getting one because she drive ways too fast) but she ended up screaming at all as always, I think she hit me but I don't remember I just remember crying and her throwing my hair brush at my face while I was crying.
And my sister not doing anything to help me when I asked her why she never defend me she just told me "you all are being a hassle" what a fun day... And is the exact freaking reasons I hate holiday so much, my mother always get a fine for driving too fast then drink then she take it out on me and i have to fake being happy to my grandparents (but I'm pretty sure he can tell I was crying as he made a weird face while looking at my eyes who we're all red).

[KostasKouvalis]

Fuck me. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. I don't even know how to respond to that, honestly! I wasn't expecting something like this. She sounds very unstable honestly! Just let her get a ticket next time! I'm so sorry you went through that :( That makes me sad and angry honestly. If I was there, I would comfort you. I hope you're okay. You can't go live with someone else? Some sister. It's even worse when no one has your back :(

I don't like the holidays either honestly, but for different reasons. Although my mom gets frustrated with my dad, because he always wants to go somewhere on the holidays. I get more depressed on my birthday though.

[civic]

If your boyfriend ignores you when you cry, that’s pretty bad. I mean, it’s not normal or acceptable. If someone cares about you, they should at least try to be there for you, even if they’re bad at handling emotions. Ignoring you just makes it seem like they don’t care, which is not cool. You deserve someone who actually pays attention when you’re upset, not someone who just checks up on you like it’s no big deal. If it’s always like this, it could be a sign that he’s not as invested as he should be.

[Asker]

Thank you, what you said is very true. I will try to explain to him that emotional support is important. I hope he will change in this regard.

[femalewolf]

No, it's not normal for your boyfriend to ignore you when you cry. A healthy relationship should be built on support and empathy. If you’re upset, your partner should care enough to comfort you or at least acknowledge your feelings. Ignoring you in those moments can feel really hurtful and dismissive. Have you talked to him about how this makes you feel? Sometimes, people don’t know how to handle emotions like crying, so they freeze or back off. A conversation might help him understand what you need in those situations. But if he continues to ignore you without trying to change, it might be worth questioning if he’s the kind of partner who can truly support you emotionally.

[Asker]

Thank you, what you said really makes sense. I will talk to him about it and try to understand how he thinks. I hope he becomes more aware of his emotional support.

[freedom]

Honestly, no, it's not okay to ignore you when you're crying. If he cares about you, he should at least try to comfort you or ask you what's wrong. So, even if he's incompetent with his emotions, it's not okay for him to completely ignore you. Maybe he doesn't know how to handle it, but he should still make an effort. You might want to talk to him about it though. Sometimes guys can be clueless and maybe he doesn't realize how much it bothers you. If he still doesn't care, you might need to think about how much he's really there for you.

[Asker]

I'll talk to him and see what he thinks. Hopefully we can find a solution.

[Brokenheartedx]

2 red flags there. One you're upset most people would ask you what's wrong.. Second red flag gaslighting you by calling you dramatic.

This relationship isn't working out.. It will get worse.

[Shoichiro]

How do you know she wasn't being dramatic? It isn't gas-lighting if he said she was being dramatic AND she was actually being dramatic.

[Brokenheartedx]

@Shoichiro because he ignored her rather than ask her what was wrong that's why

[Shoichiro]

@brokenheartedx I have two things to say.

Firstly, how do you know she doesn't exhibit this behavior as a pattern? In this case, he could have recognized the pattern and decided that he wasn't going to fall for it.

Secondly, how do you know she isn't gas-lighting him by crying? It seems to me that you're assuming that the woman is not at fault without any evidence. Can't you see that your analysis is biased (because you made assumptions that work in Asker's favor without any evidence)?

[Abbycado]

That is strange he isn't supportive when you are upset.

[AviatorTom]

We guys often don't know what you women want, we're bad at hints. He may have just wanted to give you some time on your own, not knowing what else he should do. If you want some support, tell him that.

[Shelly2002]

I think there isn't enough information to determine whether his response was rude or he's really tired of the same issue.

It depends on what exactly happened and what were you crying about. It's different if you're crying because of a real crisis (for instance death in the family or overwhelming stress from job) vs crying because you broke your nail.

[jazzy34]

No. He sounds heartless. What were you crying about?

[Crazyced]

Why did you leave the context out? Seems intentional to ignore this vital part. Were you crying because someone died or because you didn't get your way? Those 2 scenarios have completely different conclusions.

[236color]

Lots of men have been manipulated by crying women. After a while, they decide to check out and not engage to avoid being played.

[slatyb]

Maybe you should have asked for it. He can't read your mind.

[Jackblue]

It really is part of a boyfriend's job to comfort his lover, he should have been nicer to you.

[Slim57]

Yeah that's what happens when women keep dating emotionally devoid men all the time. Stop normalizing going out with men like that women come on

[jahaims]

You didn't give enough context. If you over react and cry a lot it would be annoying.

[KrakenAttackin]

He knows your crying is an effort to manipulate him.

[Anonymous]

He sounded like how most women would treat their boyfriends when they cry.

[spartan55]

Right?

[spartan55]

How often do you 'need support'?

[Flower7]

He doesn’t care very much.

[Staximus]

Depends on why you were crying

[Anonymous]

Why were you crying?

[spartan55]

Wow, the only pink user who digs a little deeper on this.

[LunarEclipse433]

Normal for someone who only cares about themselves

[ggrurrllz]

he's just an ass with no empathy.

[jimmy2]

Yes I would hold you