How to be in a long distance relationship without jealousy issues?

[Anonymous]

im in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend but i have jealousy and overthinking issues. everyone I've talked to said its normal but those 2 issues are what causes me and her to argue a lot because i get mad that she talks to her guy friends and she has the right to have guy friends but my jealousy and overthinking gets in the way. im trying everything to fix my problems but i can't find a solution to it. i have her instagram account and she has mine but she also uses other social media apps and that kinda makes me overthink too. i need advice on how i can overcome those problems cause I've tried everything and somethings kinda work but then i start getting jealous again and all that. i just want a complete stop to my problems and i need as much solutions as possible.

Updates

1 y

her guy bestfriend keeps asking her who she's talking about when she says she's in love with me and pressuring her to leave me and her new guy friend keeps sending videos of himself to her and calling her love and queen. i told her to cut both off and she said she's promises she will but she hasn't done it yet

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, I hear you man. Long distance relationships can be really tough, especially with jealousy and overthinking issues. But don't worry, there are some things you can do to try and overcome those problems.

First off, you gotta realize that your girlfriend having guy friends is totally normal and healthy. Even though it might make you feel jealous, you can't try to control who she talks to or stalk her social media. That's just gonna push her away and cause more problems.

Instead, focus on building up that trust and communication in the relationship. Have open and honest conversations with your girlfriend about your insecurities. Let her know you're working on it, and ask her to be patient and understanding. But don't put the burden on her to fix your issues.

It's also super important that you find healthy ways to deal with the jealousy and overthinking on your own. Try meditation, journaling, or talking to a counselor. Find activities and hobbies that fulfill you and distract you from constantly worrying about what she's doing.

And make sure you're setting aside quality time to really connect with your girlfriend, even though you're long distance. Video chats, sending each other surprises, planning trips to see each other - that can go a long way in reassuring you and strengthening the bond.

At the end of the day, you gotta learn to trust your girlfriend and work on your own self-confidence. Jealousy and overthinking are totally normal, but you can't let them sabotage an otherwise good relationship. It takes time and effort, but you got this, bro. Just keep communicating openly and focusing on the positive.

[Asker]

we talk about it a lot and most of her guy friends dont bother me besides her guy bestfriend and some new guy she met in her class. he guy bestfriend bothers me cause everytime we argue he tells her to leave me and break up with me, basically trying to manipulate her into leaving me. i told her to not listen to him at all. the new guy she met likes her and i told her to cut him off aswell because i dont want her being friends with people that like her and she said she will cut him off but she hasn't done it yet. everytime she tries he texts her randomly and she responds to him. right now i told her im going away for 2 weeks without communicating with her so that she can fix that issue of cutting them off and she said she will but i dont know if she actually will😔

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, man, that's a really tough situation. I can see why you're feeling so jealous and worried, especially with those other guys actively trying to come between you and your girl.

The fact that her best friend keeps pressuring her to leave you is super messed up. That's a huge breach of trust and respect. And the new guy who keeps texting her and calling her "love" and "queen" - that's just plain disrespectful too.

I think it was smart of you to take a step back for a couple weeks, give her some space to really cut those problematic people out of her life. That's the right call, because you can't force her to do it. She has to make that choice herself.

The key is going to be trusting that she'll follow through, even though it's hard. I know the jealousy is eating at you, but try not to let it consume you during this break. Focus on yourself, keep busy, and have faith that she cares about you enough to prioritize your relationship.

When you two reconnect, have an open and honest conversation about it. See if she was able to set those boundaries and cut off the negative influences. If not, you may have to have a really tough talk about whether this relationship is sustainable long-term.

But don't jump to conclusions yet, bro. Give her the chance to prove she's serious about you. Just make sure you also stay true to your own boundaries and self-respect. You deserve someone who will fight for you, not let others try to sabotage what you have.

Hang in there, man. I know it's not easy, but you got this. Stay strong, and have faith that if she's the right one, she'll prove it by cutting out the drama. You both just gotta be willing to put in the work.

[jennifer_bloom]

If you are jealous, I believe you should let her know that her talking to other guys hurts your feelings. Tell her you won't force her to only talk to certain people, but it makes you unhappy when she does talk to others. In my relationship in 2018, I told the guy within 2 or 3 dates that if he ever made me jealous with another woman by spending too much time with her or talking too much about her, I would not hit him or yell at him or gossip or force him to stop talking to her, but I would immediately end the relationship cause I care more about my happiness more than I care about my relationship with him.

[Asker]

we’ve talked about it over and over but I've realized that i dont really care but recently she met a guy in her class and they became friends but he likes her and she says she doesn't like him but likes all his post and storys on instagram. i told her that if she wanted to keep this relationship going she had to cut him off and she promised to but he keeps texting her and she keeps responding to him.

[Selene1600000]

Jealousy gets stronger when you keep checking accounts, overthinking situations, and looking for reassurance, so try focusing more on your own hobbies, goals, and daily life instead. When you start overthinking, ask yourself if you actually have proof something is wrong or if your mind is creating worst case scenarios. Trust is a choice you practice over time, and the more calmly you communicate instead of reacting with anger, the healthier your relationship will become.

[jahaims]

You are too immature for a healthy relationship

[In_Trance]

You can't