Why would he get close with me as a friend, but turned the friendship sesual, even mxsturbated on call while he knew I liked him and he didn't?

[Bztchplss]

Updates

1 mo

Everything was better before he changed, i was too naive to keep letting it happen, that was my mistake

[ohsheeT]

Yes at least you can acknowledge that about yourself

Because every time that he did something and you stayed on the phone or whatever he was thinking in his head that you liked it and not thinking anything different

And then you have to be 100% honest with yourself because there might have been a part of you that did like it maybe that's why you allowed it so many times

And now he might have taken all that the wrong way and tried something with you again and you said no and now this is the reason why you're asking this question but when you ask a question you have to be 100% honest not only about the question but about yourself when asking it otherwise it doesn't really mean anything

I think this happens many many times to a lot of women so this question is basically really a teaching tool and so many different ways to help other women either not do what you did or to understand it better

And as a guy I think did it helps guys to either realize it before they even do it or if they did do it think about it and really understand it and not understand it the way that you want to that there's more than him involved

[Bztchplss]

Yeah honestly you’re right maybe i did like it a bit, because i liked him and he knew it. But he never wanted a relationship with me or wanted to date me, never really expressed an interest in being with me. He claimed i was just a friend but he would flirt with me so i thought i had a chance.

I let him do it and now it got too late and he wanted me to stop talking to him because he had no time for me anymore or to reply to my texts. Last time i spoke to him, it was 7hrs of unanswered messages eventhough he could reply to to others, that was the first time he never gave me a reason for disappearing. He ended up saying its best for me to ignore him too, and that there's someone else out there that deserves my attention

[Bztchplss]

Im not sure if he used me for his own gratification, because he would just say lots of sexually charged things and honestly did things that only people in relationships do. So i expected some effort from him but he only was there for me in his convenience

[Bztchplss]

But it hindered us forming a real connection, he was obsessed with it and obsessed with showing me. Every time we called we never really bonded over normal subjects to connect as friends. I not sure im too confused

[ohsheeT]

Well this is interesting but when you're doing this and if you want to do it right it takes both people

And then when that happens I mean if you can feel the words and the energy there becomes a connection and becomes a connection with everything really because everything is tied together and.
Depending how he was doing it I would think he would make it about you too so you could enjoy it at the same time and when that happens there is that connection I mean a deep connection it's not just one sided
But I mean I can understand where you're coming from when you thought since he was doing this and I'm sure that you felt something to the words because if you didn't then you should have just hung up because it's wasted time and energy lol sorry I'm laughing right now because I just know me and well let's just say you too believe me but anyway yeah I can feel where you're coming from where you thought that there could be or would be more with it and it's a shame that there wasn't but at the same time the way I look at it is it was probably for the best and it was kind of like a learning experience because I'm sure he was saying and doing everything possible to get you off to make you feel something I would think I would hope that's what he was doing and if he couldn't do that for you then you wouldn't I mean reality is why they even with him if he can't do it over the phone that he can't do it in person either I mean and if he's doing it with other people yeah those are all just like red flags

I mean for me I enjoy doing it because I want to make it about the other person and I want them to feel something so deep that they they have to do something they have to touch they have to do whatever because my reality is words or energy and energy can travel from me to you let's say in a matter of a heartbeat and that's more powerful than physical

[Bztchplss]

I dont think he was doing it so i could feel connected with him. He knew i was an innocent person he always called me “soft and innocent” I don't know those were his words for me. He never told me what he felt for me, he had an obsession with doing that type of stuff over facetime and to show me because i never had that with a guy before and he knew.
He also knew that i liked him and months before this he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship

And if he was he would be looking to marry, i could’ve never been with him because of his culture and religion. So inside i accepted it but really enjoyed him as a friend, but then he started acting like that very slowly and suddenly so all it did was attach me more and i started liking him more. I knew it would’ve hurt when he wanted to find someone that his family would accept, i should’ve stopped talking to him because if i wanted to stay his friend i could’ve never gotten over him. It was a bit of my mistake.

[Bztchplss]

I was fine to be his friend and accepted it. But as he started being like that, i thought that maybe he started to feel the same. Instead he said he got too busy for me, that i should start ignoring him ‘too’, and he didn't deserve the attention i gave him. He took 7hrs to reply when he said that, and it was the first time he didn't say sorry and give me a reason, but could reply to his friends in the meantime while my messages were there. He started to just give up

[ohsheeT]

Can you dm me it's not letting me write very many words on here as a matter of fact the last big paragraph I wrote there was a whole another part to it but said I ran out of room too many words LOL

[Bztchplss]

It says my Xper level isn't high enough to send u a private message or do i add u lol? Are u able to summarise the most important points in the paragraph u were replying with?

[ohsheeT]

Yes maybe you have to add me I'm not sure or maybe I have to add you I'm not sure I'll add you though

[Bztchplss]

Yeah it doesn't let me because of my level. Try and summarise it here or send them as multiple replies if u can

[Bztchplss]

I really would like to know what u were going to say, this guy i spoke to really got me confused in the end. I think what you have to say would help out with my confusion a bit lmao

[ohsheeT]

Yeah I'm not sure how it works I can't even find my last big paragraph that I wrote LOL I mean I had a lot of stuff in there and when it's coming out that's when it's the best and trying to go back in my mind figure it out it won't work that way.

So I don't even know what to say at the moment because I just read everything and I'm more confused LOL but yeah all I can say is energy versus physical is more powerful in many cases and when you're talking to a guy and you're engaged in that got the stuff I mean it can be a beautiful moment or really beautiful moment lol depending on everything that you have to listen to every word that a guy says because it is lying to you he's going to tell you the truth in the same sentence he just doesn't know it but I think in this scenario he had to approach you in because you were there and you wanted to be there but there's nothing wrong with that and I don't know what was talked about but even then you have to be either part of it or not and I believe that you probably felt what he was saying and wanted to become a part of it because you thought there was going to be more and there's nothing wrong with that either it's just you have to know from the very beginning who's the guy is and listened because like I said if he's just doing it for the fun of it he's going to tell you that whether he knows it or not and then that way you better prepare yourself because of the knowledge that you know it's either true or false

[Bztchplss]

Yeah i appreciate it and honestly it is extremely confusing like u said, it went from me telling him my feelings- he didn't/wasn't looking for a relationship, so i accepted it still enjoyed being his friend, we started to become good friends. But he slowly, very slowly started saying sexually charged things while texting, as well asking me if i wanted to see “it”. Which i said no. So just kept on being his friend because he was good, slowly got a bit sexual. He swore they were all accidents but it was on Snapchat sent me “accidental” pics of his boner lol. I said if u send that unsolicited the girl will not want to talk to you, that was like foreign into to him, so i informed him basically. But slowly slowly he kind eased his way into acting like that, and he got so used to it- unfortunately i let him. So i dont know what possessed him to act like that, this whole time he knew i liked him, he didn't forget but still acted like that. He never intended it to be more than a friendship either, so i feel kinda of played, even when he only replied to be in his convenience and didn't care that it made me feel invisible after being unanswered for very long hours. Its a very immature situation honestly, he can't be friends with a girl without making it inappropriate, realised that much later. I just dont know what it is, like a friendship but also not. Felt led on after it ended too

[ohsheeT]

https://youtu.be/7TcuPpgmoNo?si=v4n1grUCJ0Ks9VTF

[ohsheeT]

Well there could be worse things like this I guess yeah you just have to pay attention what they say

[Bztchplss]

Lol yeah that is true😂

[Finchie40]

He only wanted sex with you and nothing more , the fact that he didn’t get sex from you made him realize you are just a waste of his time so he moved on. Why guys’ and girls’ can’t really just be friends’ if one of them wants more than just friendship

[Screenwriter]

Some men are extremely sexually driven and make goofball choices with friends, despite knowing your feelings. In fact, since he knows your feelings, he might feel he can get away with being sexual with you, though it's truthfully inappropriate and could end the friendship.

You need to seriously evaluate whether you want to stay freinds with a man who's clearly used you, despite NOT wanting to be romantically involved with you. I'd lay down the law and stop this. It's unhealthy for both of you. I'd also consider not being involved with this guy at all.

[Bztchplss]

It was a very slow process too. It started with accidental (as he called it) photos of him hard. Then he actually asked if i wanted to see it, since he typically makes jokes like this i was like Go for it, because i didn't think he would. Then he did, and it got very graphic, I don't know what it was. He ended up not making time for me much and took hrs to reply each day. And wanted me to talk to someone else

[Account]

Because he likes your attention and gets turned on by it, but that doesn't mean he likes you. That can happen.

[Bztchplss]

He always called me “soft and innocent” because well obviously i wasn’t like him and didn’t do anything back to him of the same nature. I think he liked the power of going so far, to the point of not making any time for me or replying to simple texts. It got to a point where the low effort made me feel invisible, i let him know. He didn’t really say he was sorry or that he’ll change, instead he just resorted to him telling me to ignore him back.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a really selfish, self-serving person who only cares about what he wants. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to have any respect or even platonic love for you. Don't let it hurt you, or make you feel bad about yourself. This shows his true colors, and doesn't in any way diminish your worth. You deserve someone who cares about you and respect you, whether it is as a friend or as a romantic partner.

[Bztchplss]

Well after 2 months of him being so used to this. He started to take hours to respond, never let me know he would be busy. So i deleted a few messages, he realised and told me it isn't a good idea to keep talking to him, never has time to reply to me when would be online for others, I've given him too many chances and that someone else deserves my attention

[Bztchplss]

And i said it made me feel invisible, he didn't really say sorry for making u feel this way ill change. He said “I think it’ll be best if u ignore me too”

[Opinion Owner]

I'm glad you got out of this toxic situation. You truly deserve better.

[Bztchplss]

Yeah i also realised it hindered a real emotional connection between two friends. Because whenever we’d call it would be normal convo from my end, but he would switch it up by always showing me. Im stupid for letting it happen. There was no proper connection because of it

[bobalife]

Very common men pretend to be friends with a woman and try to use her for his sexual needs. Douchebag very much with bad intentions. Best to move on from this and select better friends who isn’t trying to be sexual.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Of course, if he's a jerk he will take advantage of you. 😒 If you never initiated anything, then that's disrespectful af. I'd block him forever if I were you.

[Bztchplss]

Yeah true, innocent was always his word for me too. After only 5months of being friends and talking everyday he pushed himself away from me and left in a matter of 3 days, he didn't seem to care much that it hurt me.

[molonski2]

Well sexual , and a relationship are two different things , be honoured that he masturbated while he had you on the phone , just hook up with him and see what happens , keep it light and fun.

Dont overthink it.

[WhitneySnow]

He used you for sexual gratification because he knew you liked him and wanted to be a girlfriend and not just a friends with benefits. He is not a nice person.

[pierre7i]

Did you tell him you wanted the friendship between you and him to be just that (a friendship !) ?

[Jakefromstatefarm6]

A lot of guys can't be friends with girls, if they friends with a girl, it's because they like them. Not all guys but a lot

[Bztchplss]

Would that be considered a bit of a red flag if they at a point in time turn it sexual though? If they can't maintain it enough to be purely platonic?

[EmmaMary]

Fucking Hell... How many new accounts is this now?

[AviatorTom]

He's a horny guy who gets very excited chatting with you.

[AhmetHasanCan]

Doesn't he flirt? Doesn't he want to be a lover?

[Bztchplss]

Yeah he did, now realised it was only for fun, he never really expressed an interest and never wanted a relationship. Which is why i think he kind of used me at times for his enjoyment, before it was a normal friendship. But he changed into that

[AhmetHasanCan]

It means he is avoiding his relationship responsibilities. You can find better friends for yourself :)

[Bztchplss]

For sure, too blind to see that before😂

[AhmetHasanCan]

today's princess men :)

[Bztchplss]

True🥲

[AhmetHasanCan]

unlucky girl ;)

[CallmeTheKnight]

Question isn’t clear, but he doesn’t wanna be friends

[Bztchplss]

Im asking why would he turn a completely normal friendship to this and be extremely graphic even though i never hinted any of it. All i did was like him, and he said he wasn't looking for a relationship, we just became friends, thats it. Im asking was he taking advantage of the fact that i was naive and used me for his boredom to do what he wanted, basically

[CallmeTheKnight]

I answered your question. He just wants sex, not a friendship

[Bztchplss]

Appreciate your answer

[Anonymous]

Buy yourself a pink dildo, no man owes you his dick

[Bztchplss]

I never asked for him to be like that, he kind of started throwing himself on me and i didn't know how to say no

[Opinion Owner]

why would you want his 2 inch penis anyway

[Bztchplss]

😂i never asked for him to start acting like that. Im just wondering why he would be like that, eventhough he knew i liked him and he didn't. Like was he playing with me feelings a bit or using me for his boredom

[Bztchplss]

my feelings*

[Summeroflove]

It’s pretty easy to say no. You just say no when you allow someone to do that you’re just as bad as they are. Especially when he thinks this is okay and will do it to a woman who would be highly offended by it.

Why do you think men do this type of stuff? Because there are women who allow it. It’s just like women who do stuff do it because there are men who allow it

[Bztchplss]

Its just wild to me now how he thought there was nothing wrong me with. I was completely blinded, i liked him too much and let him do what he wanted. I never knew how extremely effed of a “friendship” it was

[Bztchplss]

with it*

[Den1971]

It all depending did you interact did you like the masturbation called did you do the call

[Bztchplss]

I never initiated it no, or hinted at me wanting him to do it. During the call i was always hesitant i didn't know what to say but he did it anyways

[Den1971]

Actually that's disrespectful if you think about it he should have made sure that you were good with it before he did it and possibly asked you if you wanted to join if that makes any sense but hit for him just to do it with no go ahead and do it if you want or I'll be happy to do it with you that's not cool

[Den1971]

Did you still on the phone with him why he did it

[Den1971]

That's supposed to say did you stay on the phone with him while he did it

[Anonymous]

Do you not know how to spell sexual and masturbated?

[RingOfFire]

Maybe you didn't care for your grammar.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Summeroflove]

Probably because he’s using you

[Bztchplss]

Yeah first few months the friendship was so wholesome and normal. Just amazing, then he started to say sxuall charged things, “accidentally” sent me pics of his bxner. Then got to the point where he was playing with himself on call and almost finished. Like how could i be so blind? There was a time i said Stop and he kept doing it

[Summeroflove]

Yes well some people have very little self control. Sex is all they think about I think it’s time to tell him to leave you alone. If he doesn’t tell him not to contact again or you will pursue every legal avenue both civilly as well as criminally if he keeps on. Block him. If he keeps doing it take action

[Bztchplss]

For sure. Reason this “friendship” will end is because every chance we had time to call or speak over the phone, they werent normal bonding subjects between friends, it was all about his dck, i was too naive and let it keep happening. So there was no emotional connection to progress, thats what hindered it. Thank you for your responses too

[Summeroflove]

Well if you can say that then you learned. Many people never learn or grow. They keep making the same stupid choices. They aren’t mistakes anymore they are choices when someone sees the error of their ways and willfully doubled down.

I’m glad you’re not that kind of person. Repent of it and move on. Pray for him as well to have that sort of personal intervention. But you don’t have to get involved with him

[Bztchplss]

Yeah of course, its almost as if i have a complete different vision of this whole situation, i realised too late though. But he knew i was a girl that was innocent, that was quite literally his word to describe me

He always saw how hesitant i was when he asked some concerning questions, that should’ve been no but he kept asking and asking. He probably got off from how much he could control me lol

[Summeroflove]

So when there are evil people they see someone whose innocent and want to defile that. They want to take control over it unfortunately that’s a major sign of a dark personality.

Is someone who wants to take someone good. Pure. Innocent. Etc and defile that ruin that. If you’re a good honorable person you will reject that and not give into it.

I’m glad you realized that and will know what to look out for later

[spartan55]

He wanted sex all along.

[Miristheiss]

I cannot stand when it gets sesual.

[Ms_Facesitter]

He only liked you for sex, I guess.

[ehatsham_hussain]

I didn't get your question clearly.

[Bztchplss]

It was just a friendship but he got insanely sexual, for no reason. And ended up ghosting me after getting so used to it. Im just wondering if he was using me a bit for his boredom or when he was feeling it

[ehatsham_hussain]

I guess he just used you ,, but it's my opinion.. although only he knows what he feel about you.
Just avoid him ,, if he don't attention now.

[Anonymous]

Instant gratification then moving on...

[Anonymous]

Maybe he’s liked you sexually all along

[Loki97]

Low standards much?

[Bklynbadboy12]

He's playing games

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆