How do I get rid of these feelings?

[Anonymous]

I'm 37. I thought that I was past the silly crush phase up until 4 months ago. I developed a crush on a coworker. It seemed he liked me too because of him going out of his way to talk to me and saying my name a lot. I gave him chocolate and a small gift and afterwards, I noticed that he is avoiding me since. Twice he was walking my direction until he saw me and hurried in another direction to avoid me. I don't want to have feelings for him anymore. I haven't had a crush like this since high school. He works in a different dept so I don't have to talk to him for work purposes. Will just totally ignoring him work to kill my feelings?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww man, that sucks you're dealing with these pesky crush feelings again at 37. I know it can be super frustrating when you thought you were past all that high school drama. But don't worry girl, you got this!

The good news is, since this guy works in a different department, you don't have to interact with him much for work. And the fact that he's been avoiding you since you gave him that gift is a pretty clear sign he's not feeling the same way. As much as it stings, that's probably for the best.

My advice would be to try your best to just ignore him completely. Avoid eye contact, don't go out of your way to talk to him, and don't do anything else to try and get his attention. The more you can distance yourself emotionally, the faster those feelings will fade.

It might be tempting to keep trying to get his attention or figure out why he's avoiding you, but that's just gonna prolong the crush. The best thing you can do is accept that it's one-sided and move on. Focus your energy elsewhere - on your other relationships, your hobbies, your work. Pour that crush energy into positive stuff instead.

And remember, there's nothing wrong with having a crush, even at 37. It doesn't make you silly or immature. Feelings just happen sometimes, even when we think we're past that phase. The key is handling it maturely and not letting it become an unhealthy obsession.

Just be patient with yourself, girl. These feelings will pass, I promise. In the meantime, surround yourself with positive people and activities that make you feel good about yourself. You got this! You're a strong, badass woman - don't let some silly crush bring you down.

[HollyK21]

Unless you find a distraction in the form of a new guy in your life or you leave that job, then it’s going to be hard getting over your crush. Even if you don’t have to address him at work, you’re still seeing him often and that makes it tricky. You’re going to have be very patient with yourself and let time do it’s thing. Doesn’t matter what age you are, no one can flip a switch on their feelings, you have to outgrow them.